Should you charge your friends for ‘spiritual services?’

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“Dear Diana,

“Should I charge my friends for spiritual services? I feel guilty and weird. I don’t know what to do. What would you suggest?”

This  HOT Topic  was emailed to me by a woman who is in the healing/intuitive arts. For privacy sake, let’s call her Nancy.

It brings up Money stuff in general. Money and Friendships. Money and Spirituality. And the big one, Worthiness, all rolled into one juicy question.

I hear things like this from clients like Nancy, friends, strangers, associates and family alike:

Have you heard any of these too?

1. “I feel guilty charging for my spiritual services.”

2. “I could NEVER charge a friend!”

3. “I don’t want my friend to hate me, so I just barter with them (even though I don’t want the other service).”

4. “I know I could charge more (usually they’ve known this for a LONG time) but I haven’t even paid for a Reiki healing session or my own service for myself. How can I expect others to pay me?”

5. “I do it because I LOVE it. It’s not about the money.”

O.M.G

The above statements make me C-R-A-Z-Y and writhed in SCARCITY mentality!!!!!!

When I hear them, my instinct is to just want to give the person a hug and then offer up a graceful but direct suggestion:

IT IS PERFECTLY OKAY TO CHARGE ANYONE YOU CAN GENUINELY HELP FOR A SERVICE, SPIRITUAL OR OTHERWISE.

It’s strange, but from what I’ve experienced with my own friends and clients, you almost always seem to get a LOT more value out of a product or service when you exchange money for it. It helps the other person show up as their BEST self and you receive the support you need. It’s a lovely dance that is based on ABUNDANCE!

STOP UNDERVALUING YOURSELF AND YOUR UNIQUE OFFERINGS TO THE WORLD!!!! 

This is just my personal opinion to the question above, but the straight-shooting answer I have for Nancy, who bravely emailed this to me is:

A: The fact that you’re even asking the question tells me you have some serious limiting beliefs around being well compensated for your spiritual services. It also feels like you could be struggling from a bit of people-pleasing and not feeling confident in your services and communicating their value to friends (and perhaps anyone). Without knowing what your particular offerings are, I would recommend you ask yourself the following questions to dig deeper… 

  • What are the results or benefits your friends have experienced from your services? Have you asked for testimonials?I am guessing you are fantastic at what you do
  • Why do you feel you haven’t paid for a service similar to the one you are offering? Is it because it’s “too expensive” or because you don’t see the value or need or something deeper? If you can’t see the value in what you’re offering, then you’re right. You shouldn’t even be offering it and you can’t expect others, especially clients (friends or otherwise) to convince you of it. You have to convince yourself or change your offering! Then, charging and communicating the value is just a formality because you are genuinely SO excited and enthusiastic to share what it is that you offer that can truly help them!
  • Are you happy in friendships where you have to accept less than you deserve and say YES to things that serve other people’s benefit but never your own? Consider that your true friends are more than happy to pay you for a valuable service and that “trading” or “bartering” when you really don’t want their service creates a very low energetic vibration for your friendship. How would you feel as the friend if the situation was reversed?

Whew.

I know that that was a lot. And I have LOTS more to say on the subject, so if you’re reading this and thinking, I need help with overcoming this, here are

3 Ways to GET MORE!

1. Join me TONIGHT at 5pm PST for a FREE Tele-Call called: 

“Busting Through The FIVE Limiting Beliefs Around Charging For Your Spiritual Services!” 

RSVP here

 

 

2. Get your ticket to my live retreat, Soothe Your Soul in Sedona and bring a friend for FREE if you sign up by September 10! It is ALL about MANIFESTING ABUNDANCE!

 

 

 

3. Work with me 1:1!
I am taking on a LIMITED number of intuitive coaching clients and would LOVE to help you have some MASSIVE money/abundance breakthroughs! 

 

 

IN CLOSING:

What advice would YOU give Nancy to the question above?

Post a comment and share with friends!

I’d love to hear from you and I know our community would love to hear your suggestions too!

Love,

Diana

The 4-step process to having an uncomfortable but necessary conversation with anyone

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You know the feeling right?

Your stomach is tight. You may even get a headache or find it really hard to breathe.

You start distracting yourself by cleaning, checking email or doing a million other “important” things to avoid having the inevitable “talk” with someone that has been a long time coming. Your mind races with thoughts like:

What if they HATE me?

What if I shoot myself in the foot and say the wrong thing?

What if I’m just being ridiculous and unreasonable?

 

Try my easy, 4-step process below to having that uncomfortable but necessary “talk” with anyone and be sure to leave a comment on the blog when you’re done!

Step 1: Set your space and be real.

“Hey, (insert their name).

I really appreciate you for listening right now/taking a few minutes to hear me out.

I have always admired (insert genuine compliment here or say nothing!)

Optional: “This is uncomfortable for me to share with you but I need to say this.”

 

Step 2: Lay out what you want without emotion

“I want (to end our relationship, a divorce, a raise, to change directions in this project, to reconsider my initial offer, to feel heard in this relationship, etc….”)

 

Step 3. Spell out your feelings (no one can argue with them!) AND any actions that you will be taking as a result

“This doesn’t feel right anymore and I need to honor that. Because of that, I/we will be _____________ OR,

“In order for this to feel right, I need to see the following things happen: _____________(state anything they can do to make it right)___________ .

Example:

“This doesn’t feel right anymore and I need to honor that. Because of that, I will (moving on, moving out, etc.).

 

Step 4: Appreciate them again and Choose your ending

*Do you want to hear them out and continue the discussion? If so, choose this:

“I appreciate you listening to me and I’d love to give you space now to share anything you’ve been wanting to say to me. I’m all ears.” (Then you REALLY have to listen and do your best to avoid interrupting or getting defensive. Follow through.)

 

*Do you just want to wrap up the conversation and end the discussion gracefully? If so, choose this:

“I am sharing this with you because I respect you and am just doing what feels true for me. (appreciate them and set the boundary).

I understand you may have more questions but I’ve shared what feels right for me in this situation and am unwilling to continue discussing it at this time. (set your parameters. notice the word “unwilling” has a different vibration than “I can’t” or “I don’t want to”. It’s more powerful!) I’m choosing to move on and again, thank you for listening. That means a lot to me.”

(notice the end with a genuine compliment or nothing at all and FOLLOW THROUGH on what you say! They may try to test you and continue the conversation and in that case, just keep going back to “I’m unwilling to continue discussing this at this time…” or walk away if need be.) You do NOT have to over explain or defend your choice.

Congratulations! You did it!

Side suggestion:

It’s always nice to have something special planned for yourself after having any uncomfortable “talk.” It does not need to be expensive or fancy or even anything that requires money. You can go for a walk to your favorite park, schedule some time to do paint your nails or just browse at your favorite bookstore that you never got a chance to go in because you were worried about this conversation! Self-care is SO important at the end of the “talk.”

 

Take Action!

1. What is ONE suggestion YOU have that helps you prepare for an uncomfortable conversation?

2. Post a comment here and let’s connect!

 

ps: Are YOU going through a break-up (personal or professional) or want to release an ex but have no idea how?

 Sign up to get weekly updates (it’s FREE) and I’ll send you actionable spiritual and relationships wisdom that WORKS!

 

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You are never alone.