So, today’s post comes from a comment a woman shared with me and I have a feeling that you may vibe with it (or know someone who would).
She is a very successful Feng-Shui consultant and she is dedicated to helping her clients bring order and peace back into their homes and relationships. But despite all her success (she practically has a waiting list because she’s so awesome at what she does!), there was a nagging feeling she couldn’t shake.
Q: “Diana, how do I deal with this feeling of guilt for helping my clients harmonize their space and relationships when I don’t have my own shit together in either area?”
(Translation: How do I stop feeling like a fraud?)
This is a big and very common feeling that I hear running rampant, especially with super freakin talented (and successful!) folks and it’s time to address this.
Here’s 5 steps you can take if you have ever felt this way:
Step 1: Recognize the Pattern
In my experience, this “fraud voice” usually comes up when you are about to make a big change, leap or transition that you know is right.
(it’s actually been a long time coming) but there’s fear because there are no guarantees that it’s all actually going to work out.) You just feel it. (And the thought of not doing it feels like you’d be selling out on yourself/out of integrity.)
Ex: Raising your rates, Having the “Talk” with your significant other or finally starting your own spiritually-based business.
Is this you?
Step 2. CALMLY acknowledge the voice
If so, after taking a few deep breaths, state aloud: “I recognize that I am currently experiencing fear around __________(insert your BIG leap here). I see you. I feel you. And I acknowledge that you are here to protect me. Thank you for sharing.”All that voice really is is the Ego and it stems from the belief that you are somehow separate from another or the world. You aren’t. That’s an illusion. But for the love of Goddess, acknowledge the voice or it’s just going to be like a 4-year old and get louder and more annoying until you give it attention
Step 3: Go back to your WHY (Vision) + What was the reason you got into your business in the first place? What drew you to want to be close to that person? Write it down. Dance it out. Sing about it. Heck, I even had one client record her own voice for what her why was and she plays it every morning on her fancy iphone!
When we re-visit our why (or vision), our bigger intention, all of a sudden, the subconscious remembers, “Oh yea, it’s not about Me (Ego). It’s about being in service and using my gifts to the fullest extent of my potential.” (or your own version of that!)
Step 4: Ask the tough question
Once you’ve done all the leg work in the steps above, your nervous system has most likely calmed down so you can ask the tougher question: where could you be sabotaging your own success? In my client’s case, as she did a bit of digging, what came out was that every time she cleaned up her apartment and started doing Feng-Shui, her mother’s voice came into her head and said, “It’s not good enough.” (translation…you are not good enough).
So, the inner rebel in her just refused to go there, and the result? A super disorganized home. Once she was able to identify where her own sabotage came from and through our work together, was able to clear it, she could approach it from a different space, literally. And she now enjoys decorating and keeping her home beautiful. Baby steps!
Step 5: Love yourself
This is the toughest one of all. It sounds like a blanket statement but it’s not. Put your hand on your heart and say, “Even though I feel weird/angry/embarrassed/like a fraud right now/etc, I still deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
It may feel fake at first but really, if you are committed to making changes, you’re going to have to do things differently. Stay open and keep shining beautiful one! You’ve got this!
Take Action Time:
I want to hear from you:
- What helps YOU tame that “fraud” voice? Post a comment on here!
- Try out the 3 steps if you’re serious about shifting your energy for the REST OF THE WEEK and post your findings of this experiment by posting a comment here!
- Need help? Consider this first.
Sometimes (more often than not), the “voice” is not actually ours. It could be the voice of our well-intentioned parents, old lovers, even lineage or past life patterns that are running the show and squashing your capacity to move beyond certain income levels, loving partnerships or optimum health that you know you deserve. The good news? You have the power to release it. Completely. Like. For. Good.
Part of my why is to help you feel powerful in all your relationships, to help you get out of your own way and back into the fabulous, happy Goddess self I know you have inside but may have forgotten.
It takes courage. It takes effort. And if it’s a pattern that’s been ingrained in your subconscious for a long time, you need help. (otherwise you would have already seen the kind of results you wanted, right?) Now is the time. And if you’re feeling the call from within, I’m here for you, but you must take action.
Let’s talk, Goddess.