3 tips to let go of a relationship…with love

Ending a relationship can be so emotional and hard.

There are so many emotions that can come up and even if we know that letting go is for our highest good, there may be a part of you that holds on.

In this video, I’ll share 3 tips to help you let go of a relationship that has run its course…with love.

This week’s soul question: Which one of the 3 tips will you apply to help you release during this Eclipse week?

Share with me in the comments below!

For more, please check out my new book, The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again on Amazon!

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3 Things I’ve learned about letting go of a relationship (TEXT)

  1. You don’t need to have them physically present for you to move on.
    You can do it energetically. This concept of releasing energy from the past without having to talk to them in front of you, in the flesh, used to confuse me…until I tried it and was finally able to start the healing process and move forward.
  2. Stay in the present and accept your part in the past.
    So often when a relationship ends, we want to re-hash it over and over again, usually from the point of view of our Ego, which stars us as the hero/heroine. But all this does is keep you a victim to a story that isn’t serving you. When we instead take 100% responsibility for our part in what happened, then the energy can start to move and you can see beyond the haze of your pain.
  3. You can still love someone and let them go.
    So often when I would go through a breakup, I would just brush aside any feelings of love that I had for that person because I felt so hurt. But the truth is, true, authentic Soul-level love is always present, even if it’s in your Highest Good to let each other go. Love never does; it simply changes form and expands in different directions.

i’m spiritual but he’s not. will it last? find out!

A question I’ve just recently been asked is, “Can two people with different spiritual beliefs stay together for the long haul?”

More specifically, what happens when one person is on the spiritual path and one is not?

Is the relationship or friendship doomed?

It’s a great question! Let’s look at it from 3 key areas.

 

Step 1: Know what your deal breakers are for your beliefs/spirituality and pick your partners accordingly!

First off, it’s important to know what your relationship or friendship deal breakers are.

The things in a relationship (platonic or intimate) that you are unwilling to compromise on.

And then use that as a filter for who you allow in your inner circles.

Is it important to you that your best friend or life partner share the exact same beliefs and practice as you?

Example: I go to church twice a week, so so should they. I believe in Angels, so should they.

Or is having just a complementary, open-minded approach to life enough?

Example: They know I love Angels, and while they don’t pull Angel cards with me, they respect that I channel them and we practice gratitude daily before we go to sleep.

Knowing what you truly need in a partnership (or even a friendship) and communicating that can affect the longevity of the relationship because you are being true to yourself from the get-go.

 

Step 2: Identify if you are tolerating or compromising (an example)

If you’ve communicated how much it means to you that your man comes to a spiritual workshop with you at least once every 3 months and every time you bring it up, he’s turning on the T.V and tuning you out (and you don’t say anything), that is tolerating.

Over time, tolerating can turn to resentment and that can lead to leading separate lives and possibly, a permanent separation.

If on the other hand, you have had the same conversation and your man comes back with, “Honey, I know how much having me go with you makes you happy, but an important game is on the same day as the workshop you want to attend. Can you pick another date for us to go next month?” that is compromising.

It’s not about always getting what you want when you want it. It’s when both parties are staying true to themselves and also consciously tuning into the needs and desires of their partner to have a win: win.

Make sense?

 

Step 3: Listen to your intuition

As always, the question of “will it last?” depends on (1) how true each person is being to themselves (2) how that gets communicated in the relationship and (3) ultimately, if you want to stay or not! No one is making you stay! You deserve to be happy.

There are different ways to “be on the spiritual path” and if you are fulfilled in all your core areas but spirituality, ask your intuition if you can get creative with seeing another way you can share spiritual principles with each other than the obvious.

I used the example of sharing something you’re grateful for with each other everyday, which is a spiritual concept without using spiritual jargon like “meditation, chakras or Angels.”

Find yours.

Or if you are both so divided that you find yourself resenting your partner, ask your intuition if it’s time to head your own separate ways.

You may have outgrown the relationship or it may have served its purpose.

And then you can take the steps to heal and move forward if need be.

Either way, listen and act from a space of loving yourself and the rest of the details tend to figure themselves out!

 

credit: peek-photography.nyc

credit: peek-photography.nyc

Q: Do you want to learn more about how you can open your heart to true love again?

I’m teaching a free online workshop “How to Let Go Of Your Love Blocks with the Romance Angels”  on the New Moon, Friday, December 11th @8pm EST.

Pop in your email below to opt-into this call.

Note: You will receive call details once you sign up below!

 

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feeling ungrounded? use these 5 household items to feel emotionally supported ASAP

It’s Super Full Moon day!

If you’ve part of my online family, you know the drill on full moons.

In general, they are a time of intense release, cathartic ah-has and self-reflection.

This one happens to touch upon the following themes in your life:

Security/Freedom, Secrets/Revealing Truths, Reality/Dreams

When it comes to your most important relationships, this can show up as:

  • power struggles
  • emotional reveals that surprise you or another  (I thought you were over that already?! hmmm…maybe not)
  • and a deep need to feel rooted, comfortable and safe with another and really, yourself. 

Do you trust yourself?

Can you trust another?

Are you willing to be vulnerable? Are you too open or do you tend to hold all your cards tightly to your chest?

How’s that working for you?

Again, this is about releasing self-judgement and simply observing yourself and what the present you needs and wants in relationship.

It may be up for negotiation and it could be super uncomfortable but also incredibly relieving once you get to the bottom of what’s truly eating at you.

But in order to truly listen to what your intuition is trying to tell you, you need to get grounded.

I like tangible, simple things you can do that are already within your reach to help you do this. So….

Here are 5 of my favorite household items that you can use to anchor in, manage anxiety and make the most of this week’s Super Moon.

Pick your favorite or do them all if you truly need a boost!

#1  Salt

Take a sea-salt or epsom salt bath at the end of your day . Stay in there at least 15 minutes to soak up all the healing properties and clean off negative sludge from the day.

#2 Orange or lemon

Both of these have so many wonderful benefits, but during a full moon, energy tends to get stuck in our homes. One fun tip I learned from space clearing is to slice up either fruit, squeeze the juice into a bowl of water and go around the corners of your home and literally “flick the orange water” with your fingers to open up the energy. You can also use an empty spray bottle if that’s easier. I notice a difference right away after I do this!

#3 Something red

Red represents the root chakra which has to do with security, feeling safe, basic needs and survival. When you’re feeling a bit ungrounded, wearing red not only says, “powerful person” to others. It actually helps you anchor into your basic needs and desires. Try it for yourself!

#4 Pen and pad

There’s no secret that writing down your feelings helps reveal things that you may not be aware of when you’re in your head. Carve out some quiet time to just write down or draw out what you’re feeling. It’s a great way to move the energy out so you can be fully present with what’s in front of you.

#5 Vacuum cleaner

This one is a bit symbolic as well as just practical de-cluttering your space, which you’ll want to do during a Full Moon week. Literally pick a room to vacuum and if you don’t have carpeting, I recommend you get one of those hand-held mini vacuum for the trunk of your car. Believe it or not, the trunk of our cars represent our past. (Anyone cringing?) So…clean out the junk in your trunk and notice how much lighter you feel!

Now, over to you.

Q: Which one of the 5 items will you use this week to ground yourself?

Tell me in the comments!

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ps: Is this you?

Do you want to:

:: attract a soul mate and tired of being single?

:: create your signature talk for your business and book speaking gigs but struggle with “being seen?”

or 

:: master your emotions so you stop making decisions from your head that don’t serve you?

If you said YES to any of the questions above and are serious about making significant changes in your life and massive up-levels, I would love for you to apply for a 15-minute complimentary consult with me so we can chat about how I can help you kick major you-know-what in 2016! 

My sweet spots include:

Relationships

Communication Clarity + Confidence

Healing + Mastering Decision-Making 

Click here to apply

is he ready to commit? what to ask him to find out (it’s not the obvious)

Today’s blog comes from a question I get asked quite a bit in my private practice as an intuitive coach and healer.

“How do I know if the guy I’m seeing is ever going to commit to me or if it’s just a casual thing?”

It’s an important question, especially if your intent is marriage or a long-term soul mate partnership.

The last thing you want to do is waste your time with someone who is clearly not ready but what about that in-between phase where you aren’t really getting a clear sign one way or another?

That’s where this one little question can give you way more insight than any traditional dating advice book will say.

I first heard it discussed on a local radio station and I even ran it past my own man.

He was expecting a cliche answer…”Well, have you just simply asked him?”

But when he heard it, his response was silence followed by a slow to fast head nodding and a “Whoa…now that is good advice…it’s true and I have never heard it said like that before…pretty spot-on.”

So, without keeping you in any more suspense, are you ready to know the magic commitment question/topic to bring up?

It’s this: “So, how is your career going right now?”

Generally speaking, before being ready for a solid committed partnership with a woman that may lead to marriage, most men are hard-wired to want to provide.

And to be in that position means having a solid financial foundation and having achieved a certain level of professional success.

Without that, what tends to happen (and ladies, what you may have noticed in the dating scene) is a guy may commit to you for a few months or even a year, but there’s always this constant striving and focus on career happening in the background and you may never feel like a priority.

Because quite frankly, you’re not.

Now, does that mean that just because the man you’re seeing is in school getting a degree or certification or maybe climbing up the corporate ladder working crazy hours that he’s never going to commit to you?

No.

Nothing is that black and white.

What I’m saying is it may be awhile longer before he does.

And you have to be okay not being the priority until that shift happens. Or come up with a timeline of how long you want to wait it out. It always circles back to being true and authentic to yourself.

So, in short, if you want to assess his commitment potential, ask him about his career and how he thinks it’s going. You’ll get valuable insight into where he’s at and also feel calmer knowing what you know!

Over to you: What’s one experience you had dating a man who was really ready or who couldn’t (or wouldn’t )commit? What were some of the signs your intuition gave you to clue you in on this? Share with us in the comments!

Want more? Check out this FREE audio training: Why you’re still single

this is embarassing… but i want to share it with you

Have you ever noticed something about yourself that you were embarrassed to see or admit?

Yea…that happened to me this past weekend and I’d love to share my story with you with the intent that it helps you see where you could be tripping yourself up in your own relationships.

You’ll also get 3 spiritual gems to help you navigate your own shifts right now and rock it out!

Sound good?

It’s about love, seeing how your thoughts create your reality and being bold (even when you’re uncomfortable as hell!).

My Story: Out of Towners

My man let me know that he’d be leading this big convention all weekend which was fine with me, since I was going to be out of town too.

He let me know ahead of time that he probably wouldn’t have time to talk much, but that he’d text me to say hi everyday.

Well, that was all well and good…until what I call my NeedyNelly-Diana showed up.

It started bothering me that I just got a text here and a text there from him (even though he already told me this would be the case!).

They were sweet ones-I miss you, I love you, I had so much fun today with the convention but I miss you…

But in my head, I created a whole other backstory to those messages.

Have you ever done that?

Instead of framing it as “Wow, that’s awesome I heard from him. I love that he took the time out a very busy weekend to think about me” my mind translated it to:

“I’m just an afterthought. He’s just doing this out of obligation. He doesn’t care about me. I am not important. I am not special. I’m so mad at him! How could he do this to me?”

So I snipped back with passive aggressive responses about not being sure I “had time” to see him when we got back on Monday as we had planned…and on and on it went until it took on a life of its own.

The poor man was so confused. I just stewed.

Yea…not my finest moment, but that’s where my mind was at.

And I literally made myself sick and mentally/emotionally drained with these thoughts for the next few days!

Why do we do this to ourselves?!

I woke up with a crick in my neck and I couldn’t turn my head one way or the other without howling in pain (the neck represents flexibility…..that was a no-brainer to figure out!)

My chest and heart area was incredibly heavy and I found it hard to breathe deeply (heartache).

And my sleep patterns were way off, making me cranky and confused.

The solution was right in my hands, it’s always in our hands.

But I couldn’t see it : admit the truth….first to myself. Then to him.

Some of my truths:

:: It was bringing up some deep seated fears around not being important or seen. Those felt super uncomfortable…

:: I was feeling lonely and needy and envious of the convention and the time it took away from us being able to see each other. 

:: I was having a hard time being at peace with just myself..

and the core of it all was…

missed him.

And I couldn’t deal with the emotions it brought up within me…without making it all about him and why he was to blame for what I felt…

That was embarrassing.

You can be strong and vulnerable. That is the Goddess way. It’s not an either/or proposition. TWEET THAT!

After all, I pride myself on being an independent, strong woman who genuinely enjoys my own company.

I’m not used to “missing my man” after being apart for just a few days…maybe because I was just never with the right one before!

And even when we talked and he came over on Monday all mature and ready to “resolve what came up this weekend” (That pissed me off too! I was supposed to be the ‘together’ one!) I was still holding onto a lot of my internal walls.

And he called me on it.

With love, but he did.

I started to cry.

Once the ice melted, I shared with him exactly what I just shared with you above and all was well.

We smoothed out a lot of miscommunications.

We came up with a game plan of “out-of-town” etiquette that made sense and I even gave him permission to tell me that I was about to board “crazy needy Train” before it derailed us.

The best part? My breathing calmed. And my neck felt way better.

In short: 3 GEMS

  1. Tell the truth, even when it is embarrassing, weird or scary. The truth will set you (and your body free!)
  2. Your relationships will be stronger when you let yourself be vulnerable. It’s okay…really it is.
  3. You are fabulous…and not perfect. And that’s exactly what life is about. Navigating through the imperfections and loving yourself anyway….

Over to YOU: Which one of the 3 gems above sound like you this week? Post it in the comments below! 

PeekPhotographyDorall-0949ps: Want to make 2016 your best year ever? I am taking on just a handful of private clients next year to help you bust out past your internal blocks + be a magnet for soul mate love and massive success!

 

Click here to apply for a free 20 minute consult call with me to see if we’d be a great fit! (No obligation necessary!)

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