Today’s blog comes from a question I get asked quite a bit in my private practice as an intuitive coach and healer.
“How do I know if the guy I’m seeing is ever going to commit to me or if it’s just a casual thing?”
It’s an important question, especially if your intent is marriage or a long-term soul mate partnership.
The last thing you want to do is waste your time with someone who is clearly not ready but what about that in-between phase where you aren’t really getting a clear sign one way or another?
That’s where this one little question can give you way more insight than any traditional dating advice book will say.
I first heard it discussed on a local radio station and I even ran it past my own man.
He was expecting a cliche answer…”Well, have you just simply asked him?”
But when he heard it, his response was silence followed by a slow to fast head nodding and a “Whoa…now that is good advice…it’s true and I have never heard it said like that before…pretty spot-on.”
So, without keeping you in any more suspense, are you ready to know the magic commitment question/topic to bring up?
It’s this: “So, how is your career going right now?”
Generally speaking, before being ready for a solid committed partnership with a woman that may lead to marriage, most men are hard-wired to want to provide.
And to be in that position means having a solid financial foundation and having achieved a certain level of professional success.
Without that, what tends to happen (and ladies, what you may have noticed in the dating scene) is a guy may commit to you for a few months or even a year, but there’s always this constant striving and focus on career happening in the background and you may never feel like a priority.
Because quite frankly, you’re not.
Now, does that mean that just because the man you’re seeing is in school getting a degree or certification or maybe climbing up the corporate ladder working crazy hours that he’s never going to commit to you?
Nothing is that black and white.
What I’m saying is it may be awhile longer before he does.
And you have to be okay not being the priority until that shift happens. Or come up with a timeline of how long you want to wait it out. It always circles back to being true and authentic to yourself.
So, in short, if you want to assess his commitment potential, ask him about his career and how he thinks it’s going. You’ll get valuable insight into where he’s at and also feel calmer knowing what you know!
Over to you: What’s one experience you had dating a man who was really ready or who couldn’t (or wouldn’t )commit? What were some of the signs your intuition gave you to clue you in on this? Share with us in the comments!