I’m going a bit off-the-cuff for this week’s blog and share a true story about not listening to your intuition and the results of that.
Are you game?
Have you ever been so set on changing a pattern that isn’t serving you that you decided to do something a little ballsy to mix it up, without any idea of what you were getting yourself into?
Yea…that’s what happened to me this past weekend.
I want to share this story with you with the intent that it serves you in listening to your own internal nudges, being vulnerable and valuing yourself in all areas of your life.
I’ve noticed with dancing that I am really great at solo dancing that requires technical and emotional skill. As a musical theatre actress-singer-dancer-turned-intuitive, I am well versed in ballet, jazz, hip hop and other highly technical dances. I know them. They are a part of my bones and I can do them in my sleep. I can hold my space and own it pretty easily.
Partner dancing where I have to totally surrender and let go? Not so much.
So, in an effort to dive into uncharted territory, I signed up for tango.
And the day came (Saturday at 2:15pm to be exact) and it was 2:05 and I was literally thinking of things I had to do so I could justify not going to the class.
I had to eat.
I had to do laundry.
I was already late.
Well, the studio was literally a 2 minute drive from my home and something told me to just freakin go.
I got there late and everyone was already dancing in neat circles. (great! Maybe I should go! Don’t want to mess up their rhythm and what not…”My inner saboteur thought)
The moment I turned to leave, the instructor (husband of a husband/wife team) asks me to be his partner to demonstrate a step.
Does he know this is my first class?
He said, “Not to worry-just let me lead you. All you need to do is follow and trust.”
Sometimes the Divine speaks through people. Loud and freakin clear.
I started tearing up and my throat got really tight. Great…
Before I put my hands on his in position,I blurted out to him, “I’m here because I know how to lead…really really well. I suck at following and I don’t know how to let go in partner dancing, so that’s why I’m here. I have no idea what I’m doing.”
He just gazed at me, smiled and without another word, started leading me and the group to some Argentine guitar.
He could feel my arm get tense as I tried to push back and control when we took the next step.
He firmly and gently stopped me…and redirected me which pissed my inner leader off at first.
But after a tug of war that went on for a few more minutes, at some point, my inner leader just gave up. She was exhausted.
I let myself go.
And I felt as light as a feather so much so that I didn’t realize that the music had stopped.
He just looked up at me again and said, “It’s nice isn’t it? Being led. You move very well.” And then he went off to watch the others.
I didn’t have a response.
It. was. A-m-a-z-i-n-g. I signed up for four more classes. Baby.steps.
Our Ego mind is terrified of following.
Of letting go of control.
Of sitting with the unknown, uncertainty, and land of no guarantees or immediate validation.
But the Soul isn’t afraid.
It knows that what you need is always provided for.
That when you show up for yourself even when you’re scared, you will always be supported.
What I’ve discovered is that it takes tremendous courage to surrender.
To let go of thinking you have it all figured out or that you have a set way of being or doing things.
Because the truth is you are always evolving.
You’re always changing.
And you can hold onto control or let go and let yourself be surprised at how Spirit catches you.
Q: So, what is one area where you have been afraid to let go of control? What would letting go of control look like in this area, feel like, smell like?
Can you commit to play with that feeling this week?
PS: Would you like to come join me for a Fall Spiritual Message Circle Tuesday, October 10?
Come and clear out the negative, stuck energy with an energy healing meditation, hear a channeled message for the group and ask me + your Spirit Guides a question and receive a personal card for this Fall! $27 to join us and get clarity! Space is limited. Click here to reserve your seat!
A replay is available and you may submit your question via email 24 hours before if you cannot attend live.