Q: I’m newly back in the dating game and am really trying to be mindful to not repeat the same patterns from old relationships. I’m ready for the real deal-I’ve looked at each ex and gotten clear on what didn’t work in that relationship (I even made a list!), but is there anything else I can do to help me prepare for someone new? Am I missing something?
A: Great question! There are so many things you can do to prepare, but for now, let’s focus on the list that you made. It’s awesome that you are diving deep into what didn’t work for you in the past so you can make different choices with the new person you want to call in.
However, in addition to making a list of the things that didn’t work, I invite you to look at your last 3 relationships (even if they didn’t work out) and write down the feelings or positive things that these men brought to you. I know this may sound strange, especially if your ex was a douche bag, but when you shift your perspective to see in what ways that relationship DID support you, even if it’s simply showing you something about yourself, you’ll see common threads. And those common threads become what I call your love threads. Those things that help you flourish in a partnership.
For example, when I did this exercise a few years ago, I saw that the last 3 people I dated seriously all brought the following gifts to me: the gift of sensitivity (emotional sensitivity to me and to the people I cared about), a spirit of generosity (these men all had generous hearts and also loved to make sure I felt taken care of) and a strong family connection (shared value of family). Now, those relationships didn’t work out for various other reasons, but when I saw the common threads, I understood that those three things were really really important to me in a partner. So, when I got back out into the dating game, after a date, I’d ask,
- Do they give off an energy of sensitivity to what I’m saying and to the people around them (how did they treat the waiter, the lady in front of us, etc).?
- Were they generous or were they guarded with their giving?
- (If it came up) What is their relationship to family? Is it important or are they strictly flying solo in life?
Knowing your love threads can help you filter out who to see again and who to politely decline.
And that’s power.
This week’s Soul Q: What is your love thread? Pick one and share with us in the comments below!
Want to learn more about how I can help you let go of your love blocks and prepare for your soul mate?
I am currently enrolling just a handful of action-taking, ready-for-love Souls (are you one of them?) for private, 1:1 intuitive coaching and massive energy healing.
If you are ready to make some major changes in your love life but aren’t sure where to start, I am happy to announce that I have opened up my calendar to take a select number of complimentary consultations (15-20 minutes) to
- Get to know you and your desires better. Are you looking to get married? Just out of a breakup and looking to heal? Wanting to work on yourself and self-love so you can get back in the dating game? Fill me in!
- There are 4 core blocks I see that stop you from being a love magnet. With your permission, we can do an energetic Love Assessment to see which of the 4 or which combos of the 4 are your primary blocks.
- We can chat about solutions to help you un-block and work together and I will of course answer all your questions about that! By booking a consult you are never obligated to purchase any services. It is simply the first step in helping you make a decision to move forward.