Ever worried that you aren’t good enough to be in a relationship? True story + Soul tip below!

You may have heard the saying, “Your thoughts create your reality.”

Today I want to share a story with you from a woman named Sandi. It’s about the power of your thoughts, the power of self-inquiry and the decision to be powerful and loving to yourself no matter what crazy shi& happens. Note: *all names has been changed for privacy

Sandi:

Sandi is a smart, beautiful, loving woman. She was in a relationship with a man named Jim that was getting progressively more serious and she shared with me that one of her biggest fears was that he would find “someone better” than her, be swept off their feet and that they would want to leave her.

“I know, I know” she’d say. “It’s silly, but he’s so wonderful and I feel like there is going to be someone prettier, smarter and more attractive than me that is just going to make him question why he’s in this.”

But, from all the conversations we had had, it sounded like this guy really adored her and that she had nothing to worry about. But still, when we would talk, the deeper into the relationship she got, the stronger that fear would pop up and she’d worry and worry aloud, wondering about the day when the other shoe was going to drop and he’d leave her for someone else.It was a story that she seemed very certain of and each time she told it, it never really varied, although outwardly, everything seemed to be going just fine.

 

A Few Months Later

Well, a few months later, that’s exactly what happened. He left her for another woman and is now married to her and living the life she dreamed about. Now, I share this story because Sandi is an incredibly resilient, self-reflective woman and although it was an incredibly painful experience, she learned a valuable lesson that I hope inspires you to look at in your own life, relationships and otherwise.

“The thoughts that you keep giving energy to are the ones that will create your reality.”Now, was it all on her that her worst nightmare manifested?

No!

Who knows what was happening with the guy in question or what was happening behind closed doors.

The Ah-Ha

But the part that I wanted to share with you is what happened within her. She saw that she although she couldn’t control him or what he was going to do, she DID have responsibility over her predominant thoughts and energy.

And upon reflecting on what happened, she got clear. It was a huge Ah-Ha that applies to any area of your life where you are afraid or feeling insecure.

“I was putting coins in the piggy bank called I’m Not Good Enough and I could have been feeding the bank, I AM Good Enough and Then Some. I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to realize what I was doing, but now I’m cleaning up how I talk to myself!”

She realized how truly powerful our thoughts are and instead of putting energy into her fears, she started using that newfound energy to daydream and visualize  a version of herself that believed she was more than enough for a man (or anything for that matter!)

Last time I spoke to her, she said she felt like a fog had lifted, she was actually smiling again and with the mental and physical energy she now had, she was actually looking forward to planning a long-awaited trip, which she had been putting off for a long time.

 

Your Weekly Soul Lesson:

I’ll say it a few different ways. Use what works and leave the rest!

When we consciously pour energy into thoughts that make us feel powerful + peaceful , we create a strong foundation for our true dreams to manifest. Click to Tweet

When the energy you pour into your fears is less than the energy you pour into your desires, you are a force to be reckoned with. Click to Tweet

Your thoughts create your reality. Ask yourself, “Where is my energy going in this moment? To my fear or towards peace? Re-direct yourself accordingly.” Click to Tweet

Diana Dorell Red PicYour Turn:  What is a vision you would like to give thoughts and energy to this June? Share if you feel guided with us in the comments below!

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A new perspective on feeling lost…the GPS theory

Diana DorellCredit: Peek Photography

Diana Dorell
Credit: Peek Photography

“Life is like a compass. It shows you where you are going, but not how to get there.”

-someone brilliant (I read it in a book last week and honestly can’t remember! if you find out, let us know!)

 

Wow. When I read that, something just lit up for me.

 

Have you ever found yourself obsessing about the “how” when it comes to a relationship?

 

-How and when am I going to meet him?

-How will I know if he’s really over his ex like he says?

-How do I know if this is actually going to go anywhere or if he’s going to break my heart again?

 

How. How. HOW. Gosh we are obsessed, aren’t we?

 

Trying like hell to get the freakin compass of life to somehow miraculously turn into a GPS with the full on step-by-step zoom in, zoom out feature and George Clooney’s voice guiding us.

 

In our technology, socia media-crazed world, we are so used to getting immediate, instantaneous information that especially for the Type-A freaks like me, it’s helpful to remember that when it comes to your intuition and your internal guidance system with the Universe, it’s about going back to the basics. The opposite of a GPS approach.

 

It’s about:

-slowing down and being okay with stillness even in a busy world (your intuition speaks in subtle frequencies, not 140 characters or less.)

 

-knowing what you want or the feeling behind what you want, (clarity is important. otherwise your arrow will be spinning out and you will be very dizzy and frustrated!) and

 

-staying open and trusting enough to head into the wilderness to figure out if it’s getting you closer or taking you further away from True North. (aka what you most want.)

When you try to control the “how,” I find that that’s usually the point where we will experience:

-helplessness

-confusion

-worry

-frustration

etc.

 

And basically, we go into our head and our intuition can’t reach us all the way up there.

 

So, here’s my invitation to you. It’s a bit open-ended and unlike a lot of my other posts, this isn’t about a step-by-step solution but more of a chance to explore this sense of ease and grace that comes when you stop controlling the how. It’s about following one nudge you’re getting. Just one. And with the approach of your life being like a compass, are you open to experiment with seeing where that one nudge takes you?

 

Guiding question:

1) Where have you been trying to control the “how?” pick one specific situation in your life. (the first one that comes to mind is perfect!)

2) If you weren’t feeling helpless/confused/lost/worried/scared, etc, what is ONE nudge or insight you have about your situation that could help you let go and be more like the compass?

3) Go do that and report back! I double dare you!

 

Have a great week and if you’d like to explore further, consider booking a Soul reading for yourself!

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3 steps to surviving wedding season

Welcome to June gorgeous!

Diana DorellCredit: Peek Photography

Diana Dorell
Credit: Peek Photography

The month of tulips, flip-flops….and weddings.

 If you are unattached and have a burning desire to be with someone and have the big wedding, the family and the whole shabang and you don’t have it yet, the month of June can make you want to:

A. give up going to to mailbox for fear of getting yet another dreaded “You are cordially invited to celebrate the wedding of X and Y” invite

B. change your name or

C. move to Morocco. (think Kate Hudson in Almost Famous)

 Luckily, I’ve got you covered this summer with 3 simple golden nuggets to keep things in perspective. (yes, I don’t care what the heck you think fickle NYC. in my head, it’s summer. get the memo!) ps: If you are already hitched or with someone, these 3 golden nuggets apply to any area of your life where you feel like someone has something you don’t have but want.

#1 Let yourself feel all your feelings….even the unpleasant ones.

So often we want to go straight to the “I’m SOOO happy for her! OMG, congratulations! It’s all good! I’m fine. Sending love and light. I forgive myself and then for XYZ, etc” but that’s bull shi&*, isn’t it? Because unless you process the feelings that are coming up right NOW in the moment, then they are bound to come up again, usually in a different setting. So….check in with what’s coming up inside of you and create a healthy time and space to sit with them without distracting yourself. Rage? Cool. Rage it out. Sadness? Cry it out. Numb? Don’t fight it. Notice it. But remember this: your feelings are information but  they never define you unless you let them. They will come and go, but they just want to be heard, like a two-year old. Once you pay attention to them, then they eventually don’t care and they move on. Patience, sister. Feel it.

 

#2 Identify the sensation you really want

Let’s say you really want to be in a relationship and your best friend just told you she’s engaged. You’ve done step 1 and raged or cried. Next step is to really sit with your now cleansed self and ask, “Okay what specifically about being in a relationship (or whatever situation it is that you don’t have yet)  do I crave?” Listen. This may not come right away. Maybe it’s partnership because you just feel lonely. Maybe it’s sex because dang it, you have needs and it’s been awhile. Maybe it’s social acceptance or attention because you feel like you have been unappreciated or unnoticed. Identify the sensation. Because that’s what you are REALLY after. Then ask, “What is one activity I could add into my life that would also give me that sensation?” Maybe you go buy a vibrator, or you enter a contest at the mall,  or you start volunteering at Big Brother/Big Sister to be in a partnership. (These are just examples).

 

#3  Remember this: It takes one to know one

The old saying is true. Be happy when you get a wedding invitation (after you’ve done steps 1 and 2 fully!) or a friend shares her success with you. Because birds of a feather flock together and it is evidence in the third-dimensional material world that what you really want is perhaps much closer than you may realize. The energy is already swimming around you so to speak. So celebrate the presence of love in your space! The more you can genuinely celebrate, look for and share the love that is already within you right now and in your environment, the more of a magnet you are for the Universe to send you some wonderful things. And yes, that includes a fabulous partnership. All in Divine timing. 

 

Now it’s YOUR turn:

How have you dealt with getting wedding invites in the past or seeing friends get what you really want but don’t have yet? Any words of wisdom for someone who may be feeling like hiding this June? Share it with us if you feel so inclined!

ps: Want to snag my free audio: “Why You’re Still Single and What to Do About It?” Get free updates + I’ll send it to you pronto. Pop in your email below!

 

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