are you tired of settling for crumbs? i’ve got you covered!

Do you know that you deserve better in a relationship?

Do you wonder why other people seem to thrive and get all this attention and adoration from a partner (or the world at large) when you seem to give and give and get crumbs back?

Do you feel frustrated, annoyed or just plain dumbfounded at how to break the cycle?

I’d love to share a story with you about this with the intent that it helps you see what could be running the show and how you can begin to break it for good.

I was speaking with a woman recently who we will call *Samantha. Samantha is beautiful, smart and has one of the most generous, loving hearts of anyone I know.

She’s super tuned into the spiritual world and being of service.

She had her own business and was in a relationship with a guy she really loved but when we peered behind the curtain of small talk, some uncomfortable Truths came out:

-She was working all the time and barely making ends meet. She was wondering if she should just go back to her old job even though she really hated it.

-She hadn’t had sex with her partner in a loooong time and admitted that she often felt irritated or too exhausted to bring it up. They weren’t connecting and she didn’t feel special or adored. He was treating her more like a roommate than a cherished lover.

I asked her some more powerful questions and more came out..

-She wasn’t making money in her business because she felt terrible asking for the sale. She low-balled her rates so much that she’d end up paying herself less than minimum wage with all the hours she put in. But she was terrified her clients would go elsewhere if she charged what she really wanted to and was assuming they couldn’t afford it.

-In her relationship, she admitted the work stuff was getting in the way of her energy levels and desire for intimacy. Her whole body felt contracted and tight and she felt uncomfortable asking her partner for help (even if it was just to let her vent and to hold her while she shared what was happening). She didn’t want to bother him or be too much trouble and besides, she should be able to deal with this on her own, right? She was a grown woman after all.

“I feel like I’m failing even though I am working so hard. He’s not seeing my Goddess side because even I have know idea where she went!!! I work all the freakin time it’s like she’s numbed out!”


Now we were onto something.

Soul Truths:

When the shell finally cracked, Samantha realized that she had been allowing herself to settle for crumbs. She was almost proud of it that she could do things on her own and that she could survive on so little affection and resources. (This shocked her but that ah-ha came straight from her!) It was almost as if she had a program running inside her that said, “The harder life is, the more you’ll feel proud of yourself. And the less you ask for, the more spiritual you are.”

In short…in her old mindset,.settling for crumbs=getting more spiritual gold stars.

Her eyes got really really wide as she took in what she just uncovered.

After the initial shock wore off, she blurted out:

“OMG! No wonder I’m not letting him in. No wonder I’m barely making enough money to support myself! I’m so done being on that rollercoaster. That was fun in my 20’s but not anymore! I’m so so done! Done done!”

And we had a really good laugh!

And from that point of vulnerable Truth, the actual healing work could finally begin.

The Golden Take-Away Tip:

The key was in identifying what mindset, self image, stories and fears were running the old program. And from there, it was about getting clear on what self-image she intended to project to the world and most importantly to herself. And coming into energetic alignment with that new image. That’s what it takes to break the pattern of settling for crumbs. In any area of your life and especially relationships.

This is the core of the Soul healing work I help my VIP and private clients with.

Now, it wasn’t an overnight change, but last time I heard from her, she had raised her rates to reflect the awesome service she provides (which was ‘terrifying and liberating’), had opened up to her partner which was very healing for them both and actually ended in an amicable ending as he was not really in a place to be in a committed partnership (again, truth telling leads to more truth telling!) and she’s started dancing and dating again, clear on how she wants to be treated and also never settling for emotional or financial crumbs again.

“My Goddess is running the show again and it’s so much fun!” she told me.

She’s creating a life based on honoring herself and there’s no bigger high.

This week’s Soul question: “Have you ever settled for crumbs? What helped you to break free and create something different for yourself?” Share with us in the comments below!

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3 steps to cure comparing-itis

It starts off innocently.

You’re in a great mood-feeling pretty good about your day.

You go to your computer and log into Facebook.

Or Gmail.

You’re sifting through, humming along and and you see it.

“Just engaged-I said YES!”

“I just crossed $50k/month in my online business!”

“Dear (you), OMG, I am finally doing it! I quit my job and just booked my dream vacation to Paris-paid speaking gig and they are covering it!”

And your energy drops.

Your mind starts to ping pong and race.

You feel anxious.

You’ve just stepped into comparison-itis land!

Here are 3 simple (and spiritual) steps you can take when you find yourself in comparison-itis land, especially around relationships.

Watch here:


This week’s Soul Love Q: Have you ever struggled from comparison-itis? What did you do? Share with us!


Ps: Want to attract L-O-V-E and get free weekly updates? Click here and I will send you the 5-day ecourse (totally free!) to help you attract love and feel happy, adored and free!

funny v-day story + your love gift!

Flashback. Circa 2006/2007. San Francisco.

“Cecilia!!! He didn’t do anything!! Anything!!!”

I came out of dive bar with my friend, wailing because my boyfriend at the time hadn’t done anything romantic or grand for the big V-day (I had told him casually that I didn’t care for the holiday and well, being an engineer he took me literally-men, if you are reading this, never fall for this line…most of us DO care even though we pretend we don’t) but the icing on the cake was that his mother was driving up to see him from the suburbs and he had erased all evidence of my existence at his apartment. Today of all freakin days to visit her son. I mean, seriously? This was not okay!

As the terrible-no-good-very-bad-night wound down, I was so out of my head and enraged that I was convinced that my car had been stolen. We looked everywhere, up and down every street in the Mission and in my frantic state, I called the SF police and my boyfriend. Both were on their way and then my friend yells, “Diana, isn’t that your car right over there?” Gulp. It was right in front of us the whole time. I had to explain myself to the police, inform my boyfriend that no…I did not need him to come and well…let’s just say it wasn’t my finest moment.

The lesson:

I share this story with you because no matter what your “relationship status” is, Valentine’s Day can bring up all sorts of weird insecurities and emotions that you didn’t even know you had in you. Back then, the only way I could validate being lovable was by a man going above and beyond to make sure the whole world knew I was. It was about Ego, not expressing. But there’s another way. Over the years, I’ve learned to have compassion for that wounded aspect within us that so badly wants validation and affirmation.

And what I’ve come to realize is that it’s far more empowering to see it as a reminder from the Divine, Spirit, God/Goddess that we are a vessel for love.

That our natural state is well…love. And what if instead of making it about personal love to one person, it became an opportunity to spread love everywhere you see it? How does that feel in your body? And most importantly, to the person staring you back in the mirror? Aren’t they worth it?

Here’s the rub: Our capacity to receive and recognize love= the capacity we have to love ourselves TWEET THAT.

Flawed, annoying, inconsistent, but incredibly fabulous whole. Self.

Easy to say. Harder to practice, right?

Will you join me?

I’m hosting a FREE 5-day Soul Love Challenge/e-course starting right now and I’d love for you to join me!

But when you truly love and accept yourself, the whole world opens up.

You are no longer a prisoner of your circumstances, of other people’s opinions.

You’re magnetic without trying to be. And then, shit comes to you that you didn’t even ask for that is better than you could have ever imagined.

Instead of scraping for crumbs, you’re given not one, but two cakes and they both have a ton of icing on it.

I call it the self-love Goddess way. Cheesy? Maybe. But don’t judge it until you try it.

This isn’t a do-it-once-get-a-result-quit-it-and-resume-your-old-way kind of shifting.

It’s about shifting into a way of Be-ing.

Want to get a taste of what that feels like?

Join me for the 5-day e-course and Soul LOVE Challenge!

Here’s to spreading love all around the world, starting with you dear Soul friend.

Happy Valentines’ Day week and excited to be a part of raising the energetic frequency starting NOW.

Love and Blessings,


soul note from the universe #1

Welcome to your first Soul-Love-Note from the Universe!

Click here—–>Soul Love Note Pennies to hear your love note and an inspiring true story about the power of faith and being supported by the Universe. Vocals: Diana Dorell

Time: Just under 4 min. (3:41)


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