the #1 trait you must nurture to have the world at your feet…

The number one trait you need to nurture in yourself if you want to attract love into your life is self-confidence.

Self-confident people are sexy.

They give off an energy that is magnetic and reassuring to be around.

An energy that says, “I know who I am and I’m totally present with you.*

Can I share a story with you?

*Kathy had everything going for her.

She was at the top of her class, she looked like a model and she cared deeply about her friends and family.

Men (and women!) would be so attracted to her at first, pulled in by her gorgeous looks and unassuming nature. But not long after, she kept coming to me complaining that she had no friends and that none of the men wanted to go out on more than one date with her (unless it was to sleep with them!)

“What the heck, Diana?!”

Kathy and I had been friends for about two years, so I felt very comfortable shooting straight from the hip with her and giving my two cents, especially because she asked for it.

“Kathy, I love you, but you need to believe in yourself more. You worry way too much about what other people think and that insecurity and lack of belief in yourself is literally repelling people from wanting to be around you. You are more than just your looks. You are beautiful inside and out, you’re one of the most witty people I know, but it doesn’t matter how much I tell you this. You have to believe it for yourself or it’s going to be a very very rough life and girl…you deserve to have it all!”

Her jaw dropped open slightly.

Gulp.

Had I gone too far? What had I even said?!

This was years before I became a professional intuitive counselor/coach, even before I was on the spiritual path at all, but it was like the words just fell out of my mouth. I now know it was probably Spirit channeling through me the words she needed to hear at that exact moment.

She was quiet for a long time and then looked up at me and said, “Thank you. You’re right. I have been pretty down on myself. I need to stop that. My mother was always telling me that I wasn’t good enough…I always felt like I had to be the best. I always put the pressure on myself and it makes me question everything. I have to change.”

It’s amazing how everything changes with awareness.

Now it didn’t happen overnight and I’m sure she got extra support beyond what I as her friend could provide, but after that conversation, I noticed that she would catch herself before she went into another tirade of self-questioning about a certain guy, assignment, etc.

She slowly but surely began to develop her own sense of self and confidence, apart from the identity and persona she felt she had to be for everyone else.

The first step is awareness of a Truth and commitment to make a change. There is power in the commitments we make to our sacred selves.

And we have that power within us always.

There is a happy ending to this story. A few years ago, I had the pleasure of attending Kathy’s wedding and she is married to a wonderful man who adores her and all her quirks just as she is.

She’s still on the shy side, but she now walks tall and takes up space when she’s in the room with that beautiful smile. It is so cool to see that transformation in her and to see in front of my eyes what is possible when a woman decides to own her inner confidence and true beauty.

The good news is that inner confidence can be cultivated.

Here is one of my favorite confidence-building exercises. I call it the “Look at Me List.”

At the end of each day, reflect and write down one thing that you are proud of. This could be something very mundane like, “I’m proud that I didn’t skip breakfast today. I had so much energy!” to something more intangible like, “I’m proud that I spoke up for myself at work instead of slinking away and taking on additional work.” If you are stuck, you can also ask yourself, ‘What is one thing I appreciate about myself today?”

The more you do this, the more your logical, skeptical mind gets convinced that you really are a confident person.

Over to you: Do you struggle with self confidence? Do you know you have a lot of love to offer but you feel held back by insecurities or something else you can’t pinpoint?

If so, go here to get on my calendar and book a complimentary 15-minute Love Assessment consult! I’d love to help you identify the core block(s) that could be getting in your way towards attracting the love and life that you want.

NOTE: You are under no obligation to purchase services or programs by booking this call. If you are interested in learning more about those, you will have a chance to get all your questions answered at the end of the call.

*name has been changed to protect privacy

i was in prison

I remember gazing up at a sterile white wall.

I was in one of those flimsy hospital gowns and my heart was beating so fast.

I remember taking a heavy, labored breath and tears streamed down my face. That was the moment.

The moment I realized that I had been in prison.

Not actual prison, but a prison of my mind.

I was in the ER in Oakland and had no idea how I ended up there.

All I remembered was feeling dizzy and worried about one of the 10,000 things I had on my plate that day.

I had five jobs I was juggling, a relationship that was quickly unraveling and I honestly had to remind myself to eat my schedule was that crazy.

I call it pre-Angel awakening era.

The prison I was in is what many of us can fall into.

It is the prison of believing that your worth is only as good as what you “produce” or “do.”

I didn’t feel worthy of slowing down. Or taking a real mental or physical break. If I wasn’t doing something for someone, who was I?

Have you ever been in that place?

When you are there, your body talks to you, but you rarely listen.

And because everything in your life is connected, it wasn’t a shocker that I ended up in the ER where all they could say was I was “in a high state of stress” and in my relationship at the time, I constantly felt like I wasn’t good enough, so I overgave and was guided primarily by my insecurities…never a recipe for a loving, healthy partnership.

So, my body woke me up to the Truth of the lie I’d been buying into.

And a voice whispered…”you are enough, Diana..just as you are. There’s nothing you need to do to prove that to anyone. It’s ok to be still a bit.”

Everything that came after that day at the ER was part of what I now see as a spiritual awakening…a commitment to be more conscious and gentle with myself. To know that I am a work in progress and that perfection is an illusion.

What freed me from the prison is one word that packs a punch.

That word is permission.

And if you are desiring more love in your life and it has felt MIA, consider that it could be a great time to give yourself permission…..

Permission to release from that internal prison now….

When we judge ourselves and our worth based on our productivity, we are at the mercy of an invisible slave master.

You can’t be fully in the moment because your thoughts are one step ahead wondering and analyzing what you should or could do more of.

And newsflash: If you aren’t fully in the moment, it’s going to be way harder to hear the subtle messages from your intuition or to take the steps that would allow you to attract love into your life.

So….

The Permission Challenge: Will you take this journey with me this week?

So starting right now I’m giving myself permission to not bang out 11 tips to xyz from my head and I trade it in for real, raw and potent Truth from my Soul. ps: That is your Soul Love nugget for this week too.

Where do you need to give yourself permission?

And

Are you willing to give yourself permission?

All sorts of cool shit happens when we give ourselves permission…it feels like this secret guilty pleasure, but really, giving yourself permission is about letting of self-judgement.

And when we do that, we also find that people tend to judge us less or said another way, we feel more generally accepted because well…we accept ourselves.

So, I made a “I give you permission” list for myself.

Here are three things on it.

:: I give myself permission to respond to messages only after checking in to see that I’ve nourished myself first (hydrated, fed myself, am calm, etc). I release internal pressure to respond right away…ahhh!

:: I give myself permission to say no when I get a request that will “just take a few minutes of my time.” My time is a non-renewable resource, so instead of doing the polite…maybe a little later, I’m just going for the Truth: thanks, but no thanks. No explanation needed.

:: I give myself permission to have daily space-out time in nature, even if that means me staring out my window at a tree. A screensaver of a tree doesn’t cut it.

Now over to you.

Q: What is one thing you will give yourself permission for this week?

Hit reply and tell me!

I get a lot of email so while I can’t promise a response, I do promise to read it.

Ps: Are you getting the nudge that you would like more personalized support on how to tame your monkey mind and let go of all the crap that’s been holding you back from having a great life and relationship? Click here to schedule a consult with me + let’s talk. I want to hear your goals and also see if I’m the best person to partner with you at this time. No obligation, but if you are feeling that consistent knowing that something’s gotta change, I’d love to support you.

do you struggle with overwhelm? i’m spilling my top secret strategy! shhhh…

Have you ever felt like your life is running you instead of you running your life?

Emphasis on the word ‘running.’

You know, the days where you’re running late to yet another appointment.

With a To-Do List miles long that seems to be winning.

And when you DO have 5 minutes to actually glance at it, the thought of tackling it or focusing feels too exhausting.

And then you start to beat yourself up.

And feel overwhelmed, frustrated and like hiding under the covers and turning off your cell ringer.

And did I mention it’s only 12noon?

It’s hard to feel happy, adored and free if you are caught up in what I call being a regular visitor on the the playing catch-up, indecision island experience.

And it’s even harder to hear your own intuition or recognize its signals when you are scattered.

If this sounds like you, do yourself a favor and watch this short (less than 5 minute) video. (made especially for YOU!)

I hear you and I’ve been there. It sucks. It’s exhausting and it’s soul-sucking. But the great news?

It’s temporary. You just need to learn how to re-focus when life takes over!

This week’s LOVE video is designed to help you do just that!

Here’s what you’re going to learn in this video:

  • How to stop treading water (and wasting time) on “to-do’s” that suck your energy
  • My Top Secret-no-more, Unconventional 3 minute strategy to knowing exactly where to focus first (it involves calling in a Goddess!)
  • How to stop feeling distracted when life around you gets CRAAZZZYYY

 

 

This week’s Soul Love Q: What is your favorite tip to combat overwhelm and lack of focus? Share with us in the comments below!

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