How to deal after someone has cheated on you…

A brave Goddess shared this on my public Facebook page yesterday:

Q: “Diana, my last relationship lasted five years before I caught him with another woman. I haven’t dated (or felt like dating) for three years now. It seems like every guy I’ve dated ends up cheating on me and I don’t want to subject myself to that anymore. Some people are meant to be alone – am I one of them?”

 

It is never an easy thing when someone you love steps out on you. 

Or you get that sinking feeling in your belly that it’s happening but you don’t know what to do.

It can leave you feeling like the woman above-doubting whether love exists for you and whether or not you are just meant to be alone. 

But the good news is that every single relationship creates an opportunity for us to learn a Soul lesson, to grow and to see the shadow parts of ourselves that we may have been denying. 

 

Here’s what I shared with her/what came through from Spirit:

“Goddess, if you have had a pattern of men cheating on you, one question to meditate on is “Where have I cheated myself? Where have I been cutting corners or accepting less than I wanted in X area of my life?” Start there to begin the healing to open your heart.”

 

You see, it ALWAYS comes back to us. 

And it (the energy of “cheating”) can show up in another area of your life besides love.

I can speak from experience!

Some ways I know I “cheated” myself in the past included:

  • Overdrafting on my checking account and buying stuff with my debit card that made me stuff the feelings I didn’t want to deal with (hello lattes, massages and expensive jewelry I had no business buying!)
  • Driving weekly over 100 miles to see the man I was dating only to have him drive TWICE to see me (once because it was on his way back from a family commitment) (compromising my energy level)
  • Being consistently late to meet friends or flaking altogether on calling them back (cheating on my commitments) 

And not surprisingly during that time was when I was seeing a man who I got that sinking feeling with that I was not the only woman. It was a horrible feeling but you see, energy is energy and only when I was able to peel back the layers of my deeper pain and ask the deeper questions of my Soul was I able to begin shifting the pattern and changing my life for the better! I started paying better attention to my money and how I treated it; I broke up with the man who refused to put in the extra effort to see me and I made sure to say yes only to the commitments I knew I could keep. My friendships blossomed, my energy, bank account and confidence soared and best of all, I started to actually like myself again. And it’s a cool thing. When you like you, others do too, and when you love you, well, watch out! Because love is on its way!

It starts by taking it back to YOU.

 

Action Item:

Whatever is annoying you about a certain person or situation this week, ask yourself:

1. “How am I treating myself the exact same way?

2. What is one thing I can do to turn that around today?”

Look at all the areas of your life until you can find at least one place to shift. Take one simple action to repair the damage and be gentle with yourself. You’ve got this. It’s time to SPARKLE!

 

pic1Are you ready to call in a spiritual soul mate love, have more confidence and less stress in your life for 2014? Click here to look at ways we can work together to make that happen!

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 strategies to play a bigger love game

Is your Soul getting restless?

In love, this shows up as:

*toying with the idea of putting your Match.com profile up but then talking yourself out of it. 

*looking at your closet and having the classic, “So many clothes, nothing to wear” feeling 

*boredom with the “way it’s always been” routine. It’s safe. It’s comfortable. But you’re just well….bored to tears! You wonder is this all there is?

If you answered YES to any of the above, chances are high that it’s time to PLAY A BIGGER GAME Goddess!

Not just in love, but in life.

Luckily, I have three strategies to help you bump out of the boring and into the fabulous BIGGER, more SPARKLY arena! I’ll illustrate them in a true story from my dance class last night to make it more fun!

 

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True Story:

For those of you that follow my work, you know I love to dance. It’s where I started (ballet) and I’ve been getting back into it slowly. You can read all about that crazy adventure ride in this blog post. But something interesting happened last night when I went to the intermediate class that got me thinking about you and upping your game in love. 

The short version:

I went there and decided to up my game and take intermediate ballet with the teacher everyone said was hot stuff and a former company member. When I checked in, instead of automatically assuming that I was there for the beginner class (which had happened before!), she just smiled at me and told me to proceed to Studio 1. That was a big deal because it is reserved normally only for the Kansas City Ballet company members rehearsals and was HUGE with lights and everything as if we were on stage. And as I took my place at the barre in the center, I could see myself from every angle and I could also feel certain ladies looking at me throughout some of the intricate combinations and I got that eerie familiar pressure to be “ON” my game and get all the steps right. In short, I was in the Goddess class. I was no longer going to be satisfied with being the best beginner when I knew I was ready for a challenge. We were all here to play. I sucked in my stomach and took a deep breath! Game ON! I was definitely challenged and when we got in the center in groups of three and four, the fear factor just increased. And my fear came true-I fell out of turns in front of EVERYONE, I stumbled on the slow adagio combination and I almost jumped straight into another group of dancers because I wasn’t spotting the right place! But I didn’t give up and I learned some valuable lessons you can apply to playing a bigger game in love and in life! 

 

1. Look the part and people believe you!

I came to dance class straight from a friend’s birthday party so I was sporting a bright red off-the-shoulder fab sweater, tight jeans and my black heels that gave me that extra boost of confidence. My make-up was done and  my hair was in a tight bun. I felt like a million bucks. And when I walked in, I got so many smiles and was treated like a VIP at the front desk. When I headed to Studio One, people assumed I was in the company and I got looks of admiration. It made me laugh inside, but I just enjoyed it. 

Your invitation: Ask yourself, “If I was my most fabulous self on (this date, in this relationship, on this stage, etc), what would I wear? Evaluate your wardrobe and vow to wear only the fabulous stuff. Strut it and see what happens! It works!

 

2. Step into the right vibe.

There was something about being in that huge legendary Studio that shifted my energy to match it, even though inside I was terrified of not measuring up to that image. I took my place at the CENTER of the room at the free-standing barres, something I would have likely avoided in the other studios because you see EVERYTHING on your body and you also are assumed to be the dancer that everyone along the wall follows if they get lost. But I just simply tapped into my environment and that was a professional, creative and inspiring vibe. I had to act the part and as a result, I tackled combinations that made my head spin with greater ease. 

Your invitation: Ask yourself when faced with a situation, “How would my most fabulous self choose to act?” Then go for it! You’ve got the wardrobe. Now act as if. And place yourself in an environment outside your comfort zone. Example: If you always meet a first date at the local Starbucks because it’s close to your house and it’s what you always do, pick an upscale lounge or cozy diner nearby! Make sure your fabulous self would want to go there!

 

3. Play full out (even if you fall!)

When you are playing a bigger game, you have to give yourself permission to fail and look like a dork. As you can see from my story, I messed up a LOT and it was very embarrassing, but I chose to keep going, knowing that that’s the only way to improve my game. And when you aren’t putting all your energy into being perfect (which is impossible), you free up your creative energy to be in the moment. Being in the moment and willing to fall on your face or say the wrong thing makes you irresistible and hot to trot. It’s a weird thing, but it’s true!

Your invitation: Ask yourself, “What would I do if I was willing to risk failing or messing up? What could be possible for me?”

Okay Goddess.

That’s what I got for you today.

I want to hear from you.

Question: Which one of the three strategies speak to you this week? Why? Share your comment!

Love,

Diana

ps: Want more?

Click here!

 

Is it time to walk away? Ask yourself THIS + get some clarity

Breaking up is never easy.

But there comes a time when you find yourself at a crossroads with someone.

Only that crossroads leaves you feeling confused, sad or racked with indecision.

Maybe you pulled the plug early in a previous relationship and it came back to bite you in the butt.

Or maybe you stayed too long and vowed to never do that to yourself again.

Luckily, there is a simpler way to help you get some clarity around the “Should I stay or should I go?” question.

In this video you will:

  • Learn Diana’s effective W.O.S method for knowing whether to stay or to go
  • Learn the real reason that keeps you repeating the same love pattern (this may surprise you!)
  • Have a go-to self-test to nip second-guessing in the bud!


After you watch, answer the question below!

Have YOU ever been in a relationship where you weren’t sure whether to stay or go? What helped YOU make your final decision? Share your insights with us!

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