Have you ever had friends or even a coach tell you to date more than one person at the same time?
If you tend to be someone who is a one-person-kinda-goddess, this dating tip can feel weird or off-putting.
But when you understand the right way to do it, it can actually help you increase your chances of attracting a quality relationship.
Without feeling icky or inauthentic, which is key!
Watch here or prefer to read? Scroll down!
1. Stay objective
Dating multiple people at once helps you get to know whether or not you have compatible values, relationship goals and how you feel about yourself when you are with them…without getting so emotionally attached to one before you know who they actually are!
Now, notice I said dating multiple people, not sleeping with multiple people.
In this sense, dating meaning going out, having conversations and getting to know each other.
2. Commit for the right reasons
Putting all your energy into one person or sleeping with someone too early before you know where they stand in relation to what you truly want can muddy the waters and make you attach prematurely and for the wrong reasons.
Getting to know multiple people can help you sift through what you truly want and make sure you are moving towards a shared goal together. And if it’s not right, it’s easier to move on!
3. Honesty is key.
Until you have an exclusive arrangement (which is a conversation you both have with each other), you are not obligated to share that you are seeing other people. Particularly if you are not being physically intimate with anyone.
However, if you want to disclose that, that is totally up to you. If asked, and you want to say something, you could say, “I’m getting to know a few people right now and when exclusivity is discussed with anyone, of course that will change things.”
The more you can follow these 3 principles, the more you can increase your chances of picking the right person to move forward with!
Q: Which principle spoke to you the most? Share by leaving a comment here and make sure you grab your free gift: 7 Goddess Secrets to Up Your Confidence Now! www.dianadorell.com
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Have you ever felt like you’ve dated the same type of person with a different face?
Often times, you don’t even realize it’s happening until a well-meaning friend points it out (usually the one that is exhausted from hearing you vent because it’s the same…freakin story and they know how it ends, but you don’t listen!)
Sometimes we choose partners who remind us of our parent(s).
Or we choose their exact opposite in an attempt to rebel against a pattern.
Or sometimes it’s totally random, but there is a pattern to the randomness.
I was out the other day and this woman near me started talking about how she keeps calling in married men.
She doesn’t know why this keeps happening.
I stayed quiet because I was doing my best to just listen and take my “love coach” hat off, but she kept going and said, “Do you have any ideas?”
When I told her my line of work, she burst out laughing and said it must be the Cosmos because she usually never opens up that much to someone she barely knows.
Here’s what I shared with her:
Instead of focusing on “why,” I suggested she focus on “what.”
Specifically, I posed this question for her to ask herself: “What are you getting from dating unavailable (still married) men?”
She looked at me like I was crazy at first and said, “Nothing! They can’t give me what I want.”
But I asked her to go deeper than that.
There is always a pay-off, even if it’s small or weird…that we are receiving when we find ourselves in a pattern.
Maybe the pay-off is that it’s familiar, so you know there is an end-point.
In her case, when she really dug in, she came up with this:
“What I’m getting is that I don’t have to put myself out there fully-opening up after being hurt so many times feels scary, so when they are married, it’s like having a part time boyfriend who only knows the bit about me that’s exciting and sexy and fun, but it’s also lonely because I know it’s not going anywhere.”
The payoff was not having to put herself out there fully…
And once she owned that’s what was going on, that was the starting place to shift that pattern.
So over to you.
What’s a pattern you notice about yourself in relationship?
What could you be getting out of it?
Share with us in the comments and if you enjoy reading stories like this and want to learn some simple but powerful tools to start breaking the pattern, check out my best-selling book, The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again in the store!
If you’ve been in my world awhile you’ve heard me speak on feminine and masculine energy.
When you have two people in their masculine or two in their feminine, the energy is neutralized and it’s often at this point when people call me saying things like:
“He used to pay all this attention to me and now he treats me like a roommate…
or “We stopped having sex and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”
or…”This girl I was seeing for a few dates totally went hot and cold on me.”
Not always, but often, it comes down to polarity and energy.
When it comes to romantic relationships, the thing that makes the spark stay alive is polarity, or the energy of opposites.
And contrary to what most people believe, nurturing is actually a masculine task, not a feminine energy one.
It is giving energy and when you’re giving too much, you’re setting yourself up to be put in a “neutral”/mother role vs. a partner role.
But it’s a delicate dance.
You don’t want to never nurture or give the impression that you are unemotional and uncaring.
But you also don’t want to over-nurture and end up being the “mommy.”
Today’s Q+A comes from Rachel: “Where is the line between nurturing and over-functioning in my masculine energy with a man? Is it never okay to nurture, even if my man is sick?”
Play the audio below to hear my answer: