Don’t Give Up – Go For 80, Yo!
Happy Tuesday!
Today’s Q+A: “What advice do you have for those times when dating feels like a full-time job? I feel like I’m losing steam and getting so discouraged but I don’t want to give up on love. Help!”
I love this question…and before we dive in, I have a question: Have you heard of the 80/20 rule?
It’s true in business.
It’s true in real estate.
And it’s also true in dating.
It goes like this, using the business example:
80% of sales are made from 20% of the customers.
Those 20% are die-hard fans and they make up 80% of a store/product’s revenue.
That means that more than half of the people that enter a store on any given day will never, ever buy.
Or buy sporadically when there’s a sale or something.
But I digress.
If we apply this to dating, it’s so easy to focus on the 80% of dates that suck, that leave you mystified with why there wasn’t a follow-up date or text or call.
It’s easy to beat yourself up and want to throw in the towel, when really, if you reframe it-20% of those date will most likely be amazing.
And…if we take it a step further, if you’re wanting to stay open to wonderful potential partners, what if you look for the 80% of what you love and admire in someone? No one, I repeat, no one is perfect and expecting 100% perfection will yield disappointment.
Even if the date goes nowhere, putting your focus and lens on looking for what is interesting about someone, or what they are brining out in you is sending positive energy out towards them and yourself.
And you’re more likely to notice when someone really is a great match for you.
So…in a nutshell:
- When you feel low, remember the stats: Not every date will be a winner. In fact, 80% may suck. But 20% will be interesting and get you closer to who you’re meant to be with.
- Stay open + focus on finding something interesting with every date you go on. You’ll have a lot more fun and who knows what magical opportunities could arise when you stay out of judgement and put away your long-ass requirements.
Q: What do you think about this 80/20 rule? How has it showed up in your life?
Leave a comment – I’d love to hear from you!
It’s an Island Ma’am (True Love Story)
Aloha!
Happy Tuesday,
In the spirit of Valentines’ Day week, I want to chat about the E-word.
Expectations…
On the one hand, expectations can help us clarify what we no longer wan to tolerate but taken to the extreme can create stress in relationships.
I learned this the hard way on my honeymoon in Hawaii this past week!
Listen below to hear my story! It’s my intent that by sharing this it empowers you to examine your relationship to expectation and deepen your connection to yourself and those you love.
After you listen, I would love to hear from you-what resonated? Where could you benefit from more surrender?
Hit reply and leave a comment on the blog. I love hearing from you!
PS: Want to call in LOVE? Deepen the connection you already have? I’ll be hosting a LOVE Message Circle right after the New Moon on Feb 21! More details to come I the next few days to watch your inbox! 
A Great Mantra to Banish Fear!
Happy Tuesday!
I’m experimenting with sharing one of my favorite mantras with you each month to help you shift your energy in relationships.
Today, let’s talk about fear.
Whether you’re in a relationship or looking for one, fear can rear its head and can be paralysing when you think about making any kind of change (even if the change serves you)!
What if I said the wrong thing?
What if I make the wrong decision?
What if I’m just not good enough?
A great mantra to help shift fear is: “Perfect Love Now Casts Out Fear.”
I first saw this in the great book by Catherine Ponder, The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity and fell in love with it.
It’s anchored in the idea that Perfect Love (Divine Love) is stronger than Fear that is constructed from our human mind.
Where there is Divine Love there cannot be Fear at the same time, so essentially, you are choosing to stay in the vibe of love.
How to use it:
In quiet moments where you feel fears rising up in your chest, close your eyes, take a deep, cleansing breath and say the mantra above. Say it three times with deep feeling. Notice how your feel.
Will you play with this over th week and let me know how it goes? Hit reply or share a comment!
The more you can acknowledge the fear and quietly affirm that is has niko power over you, the easier it is to take action in your love life because you know you are safe.
And you are.
ps: Have you pick up your copy of the best selling book, The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again? If not, check it out right here: https://dianadorell.com/shop/