Happy last week of 2021!
As we close out this year, I pulled a card for all of our community: Listen to Your Heart.
I also am drawn to the number 7 on the card, which represents a spiritual awakening of sorts.
You may have really been tested this year with relationships and gotten more clear on what works for you.
And where you need to trust yourself more.
It’s important to reflect on where you have been so you can take those lessons into 2022.
For those of you that would like to go deeper, here are some things you can ask yourself or journal around to close out the year. NOTE: I say “one thing” to give you a structure and staring point but feel free to do 50+ things!!!
- One thing I’m proud of from this year was…
- One thing that tested me this year was…
- One way I’ve grown this year is…
- One thing I will never accept again is…
- One thing I know I need to be more receptive to is…
- One thing I know will support me as I walk into 2022 is…
It’s been such an honor to have you in my community.
I hope to bring you more content and stories next year that empower you to trust and love yourself and create an amazing relationship, starting with the one with you.
If you have ideas of what you’d lie to see in the newsletter, please share it here. I’d love to hear from you!
Today, we tackle a question from our Goddess community:
Q: What do you do when you are faced with decision that feels really hard?
Maybe you know what you want to do but you’re scared of hurting the other person’s feelings or what it may mean.
Maybe you want to say yes but you’re scared of what you could lose in the process.
Or something else that feels sticky and uncomfortable.
Here are three steps you can take to be in the best head-space before you make the final call:
- Belly Breathe.
Seriously, it’s simple and we try to make it all complicated!
Taking a few deep breaths filling up your belly like a balloon. This will still your mind and help you make a choice that feels right for you vs. an anxiety, adrenaline-induced one.
2. Ask yourself:
*”Is this choice aligned with my values and am I being true to myself?” (That’s a quick yes or no. Stop over-thinking it!)
* If I wasn’t concerned about what anyone else thought, what would I want to do?
*Does this choice make me feel expansive and more free? Write this down.
3. Take Action!
Often times, the thing we most need to do is also the most scary. Whenever we change a pattern our subconscious mind can go AWOL! “I don’t want to change! What if it doesn’t work out? It didn’t work last time. I am not ready. I am not good enough…lalalalala <white noise>”
When you feel EXPANSIVE, excited and yes, sometimes scared/nervous/mind throwing a temper tantrum about a choice, that’s a KILLER combination.
Because it’s your truth.
And everything holding you back from your truth is being shaken up and help up to the crazy fluorescent light for you to acknowledge and release.
So you can start making decisions from a “calm, confident and clear space” that honor not just you but everyone involved. (notice I didn’t use the word mind…our most profound “problems” are rarely solved there)
The more you can practice taking a choice through the three steps above, the easier it may fee to get out of that indecision-land and feel grounded in where you’re going next.
Q: What is a decision you’re super proud you made? What helped you make it? Share with us!
ps: Are you ready to step into your power? It’s not to late to join us for 11 Days to Awaken Your Personals Power!
For more, please visit: https://dianadorell.com/work-with-me/
This situation came up that I wanted to share with you because I have a feeling more of you may be experiencing some version of this.
Q: “He’s always texting me last minute to get together. When I share something that’s important to me, he changes the subject…or doesn’t reply at all. It makes me feel like crap and like I’m not important. This pattern has started trickling over to friends too. I feel like I’m always the one listening and dropping things to be there for them but it’s rarely reciprocated. What’s going on?”
A: We all want to feel special and lie we are a priority.
One of the first things I ask a private client in my relationship practice is to have them write out their daily and weekly schedule.
So…although it may seem like I’m not answering the question, step one is to:
#1: Look at your schedule.
#2: What’s on there?
Do it start by being reactivity to other people’s demands and desires of you?
Or are you intentionally creating space to start your day in a way that priorities your self-care, metal health and physical well-being?
If you’re like most of us, the first thing you do is grab your phone, check emails and scroll Instagram.
Then, maybe you have breakfast after you answer that text.
Or hopping on a Zoom call and bumping your Pilates class to the afternoon (which you never seem to make).
Or listening to a friend drone on and on about the same guy issues that she never seems to take your advice on and you skip your morning meditation in the name of ‘being a good friend.’
It may seem insignificant, and these small choices over time become routines and habits.
And when you routinely put yourself last and are in reaction to everything around you, work, kids, friends, lover, date, etc, you are never fully grounded.
And essentially, you are saying that 1) you are okay not being a priority and 2) you are constantly at the mercy of your circumstances.
Neither inspires a man (or a friend, or anyone) to put you first if you yourself won’t.
I know this is a bit of a tough love reminder-it’s the to get real with yourself.
If you want to be the priority.
If you want to be cherished, adored and seen?
Start by looking at your schedule and noticing where you can make some adjustments to your day so that you are positions yourself as the Queen you are.
- put your phone on silent or off until you’ve eaten breakfast
- set a reminder on your phone at the end of your day to review the most important tasks to get done the next day, focus on those 3 things first so you’re not spinning your wheels in the morning.
- get up 30 min earlier and listen to a mediation or go for a walk.
- have a set time when you will check and respond to messages (this one’s hard but if you’re checking and responding to everything as soon as it comes in, you are in reaction mode and even paring that down to 5-6 time a day can change your life!)
- sign up for an exercise class and enlist a friend for extra accountability.
- prep your food the night before.
- pick out your outfit the night before.
Q: What is one thing you can tweak to your schedule so that you are making yourself a priority?
The more you do this and stick with it, the more you will find other around you start treating you like one too!
Ready to tap into your Personal Power? Join me for the new course, 11 Days to Awaken Your Personal Power starting on 11:11! Click here.
For more, check out my book The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again for more stories and exercises of how you can trust your intuition and love yourself!