Anxious Attachment Style? Do This! (love/dating advice

Happy Tuesday!

So, have you ever texted someone you really like only to find that three hours later, they still haven’t responded?

It can send you into a spiral of negativity and crazy-making if you let it right?

If you find yourself continually going into a heightened state of anxiety when things don’t happen quickly, it’s possible you could have an anxious attachment style.

When my clients identify this pattern in themselves, here is one of the exercises I recommend that can help calm the nervous system quickly:

After you watch:
*Did you give the exercise a go? How did it feel?
*Are you someone who identifies as having an anxious attachment style? What helps you? Please share your wisdom in the comments on the blog!

But It’s Chanel, Darling (A Tale of Self-Worth aka Paris Part 2)

Can I ask you something? Where have you been feeling called to upgrade things in your life? Maybe it’s your wardrobe, your mindset, or something else.

A big part of manifesting like a Goddess, especially when it comes to relationships, has to do with believing at your core that you are worthy of the best. The best meaning, being treated well-with love, respect, kindness, etc.

So often we don’t feel worthy of the things we are asking for.

One day on my Paris trip, I got bored at the Louvre and left my friend to happily bemuse the floors of paintings and statues (I did make sure to whiz past the Nike goddess, Venus de Milo and the Mona Lisa-she was small!) and instead decided to find and visit the Chanel original store on 31 Rue Cambon. I’ve always been fascinated by her story and set about on my adventure.

I went in my sneakers, jeans and my hair was a mess as I tried to look inconspicuous holding up my phone and following Google map walk directions amidst all the locals.

I just meant to look at the building but I was itching to go in. There was a guard on the side door (I guess reserved for VIP’s with appointments). I just went ballsy New Yorker on him and asked point blank if I could go in and look. I think he was just amused or bored and to my delight, laughed and opened the door!

When I got through the secret door, I was greeted by three more miked and well dressed Chanel people. No, I did not have an appointment. Just looking. American. Petit, Frances. Sorry. They looked me up and down and left me alone!

As I walked around the beautiful space, and felt the gorgeous fabrics from the jackets and dresses, part of me felt soooo out of place. $16,000 for a jacket? I should just run out now. What the heck was I doing here? There were half-empty champagne flutes on silver trays on the coffee tables in each room set aside no doubt for the “appointment” people. Who was I to be in here? And yet, my inner voice told me-it’s all just a choice. You belong or don’t belong. Belong to yourself and you simply choose where you go and what you wish to experience.

Privet Rouge

I ended up somehow at the make up station.

I met a super good looking French salesperson called Bryan and it was as if some force took me over. I went into what I can only describe as the Chanel trance.

I was transported to another world. We started talking about the history of the brand, Boy Capel and the next thing I know I was consulting with him on the “perfect” red lipstick for my skin tone and he was giving me pointers and opinions and well, long story short, I ended up buying the most perfect, red, and expensive lipstick I’ve ever owned.

It comes in a glass case and is modeled after the original address (31 Rue Cambon) and of course I chose one called Privet Rouge (Private Red-very Goddess). He handed me a tiny Chanel bag (which he informed me was only given out at the original store here in Paris-everywhere else it’s black apparently), put the signature Chanel camelia flower on it.

Then, he whispered that if we were quick, he’d be happy to sneak me over to the original mirrored staircase where Chanel would sit during her shows watching the reactions of the audience members to determine whether or not she would come down. It was guarded but one nod from Bryan, and we went right through. OMG, I couldn’t believe my luck!

The Ghost of Chanel
I could feel decades of history and energy as I stood on that staircase and was overcome with emotion and this profound sense of her essence. She toiled and triumphed and failed on these steps. She faced criticism and praise. She wasn’t perfect but she demanded the best from herself and everyone who worked for her. It was such an interesting sensation that is hard to describe but I am so grateful I didn’t let my insecurities or feelings of being out of place stop me from getting to that moment.

A few lessons I gleaned:

  •  Trust your intuition and desire to lead to places that may seem “out of reach” or out of your comfort zone. If things trigger you while you are there, which they certainly did for me at Chanel, know that you can use it as opportunity to witness, love and honor the feelings that arise.
  • Belonging and feeling worthy are an inside job. No lipstick, jacket or VIP treatment makes me any more or less worthy than the next person. But how you feel about yourself, talk to yourself and carry yourself matters the most. Then, you can truly enjoy yourself in any environment.
  • Don’t cut yourself off before you consider. Yes, Bryan was an exceptional salesperson and I didn’t “need” a crazy red, expensive ass lipstick but I checked in with myself and I truly desired it, loved how it felt on my very sensitive lips and instead of shutting myself or him down or not even trying it on, I considered it. I gave myself the full experience, took pleasure in receiving the benefit of his expert eye, tried on a few different reds and made my own grounded decision to hand over my AMEX. I also knew deep down that if none of them were right for me, it was totally okay for me to thank him and leave the store. The old me would have run away from Bryan, or not even let myself look at the lipsticks, let alone sit in the chair to even consider. I would have gone into people pleasing and bought something just because I felt bad that he took so much time with me even if it wasn’t at all right for me. Not the new Diana. And it felt great.

Q: Which one of these lessons did you need to hear this week? Hit reply or leave me a comment on the blog!

Have an amazing week!

It’s Safe For You To Receive The Best – Monthly Mantra

Happy Tuesday!

A big block that stops you from attracting the type of relationship you want is a subconscious belief that you have to settle for less than you desire.

One of my clients struggled with accepting crumbs in her love life and we identified that this came from a childhood programming that it was not okay to express difficult emotions.

She had to people please in order to receive love and while this helped her achieve a certain status in her professional life, in her romantic life, this worked against her.

She was tired of attracting narcissists and men who needed mothering and financial rescuing.

The first step was to acknowledge the pattern and she also started working with mantras.

If there’s an area of your life where you aren’t receiving at the level you really desire, consider that your subconscious may just need to feel safe to receive at that new level.

This month’s mantra is “It is safe for me to receive the best.”

When you are open to seeing more than one possibility and receiving, you broaden your lens and potential for intimacy, connection and understanding can increase.

So, if you like journaling, before you use this mantra, I invite you to reflect on the following:
Where have I downplayed what I really want?
What could shift if I allowed myself to receive the best?
What have I been wanting to upgrade in my life?
Now it’s your turn (if you want to try this mantra!): “It is safe for me to receive the best.”

How to use it:
In quiet moments where you feel fears rising up in your chest, close your eyes, take a deep, cleansing breath and say the mantra above. Say it three times with deep feeling. Notice how you feel.

Have a beautiful week, Goddess!

ps: If you’re ready to break childhood patterns that are blocking you in your love life, go here to explore 1:1 coaching.

What To Expect For November (Your Message Inside!)

Happy November!

As the veil between the worlds thins, it’s the perfect time to go deep within and connect with yourself, what matters most to you and play with alter-egos.

What would ultra confident “you” do?
What would super comfortable in their body “you” do?
What would knows exactly what you want “you” do?

It’s a fun week to play with personas and to honor the different, sometimes contradictory elements of our own personality.

Since it’s so close to November, I didn’t want you to have to wait a whole week to see what’s coming down the pipes.

So…watch below to enjoy the November Monthly Message video! I did things a little differently this time. I hope you enjoy it and whatever you do, have an amazing and fun last week of October/entrance to November!

ps: I know a lot may have gotten kicked up the last month energetically for you-if you’ve been needing a little energy boost, consider booking a GOLD treatment for yourself! Check it out here.