How to Put Yourself Together After a Breakup

Happy Tuesday! 

Today, I’m taking your questions from the community. 

And we are talking about… breakups. 

Q: “Diana, I’ve just broken up with a man I thought I was going to marry. I feel so confused and lost and I just need to get myself together. but I don’t even know where to start. I Don’t want to burden my girlfriends as they are probably tired of hearing my sob stories. Help!” 

A: Thank you for writing! 

Breakups can be so painful and get us to question our very existence, worth and lovability. 

But they don’t have to break you. Here are three things you can do as you move through this difficult time. 

1. Stop expecting everyday to be the same. Embrace your emotional cycles. 

So often we think, okay, I’ve purged them from my phone. I’ve put myself back on the dating apps. I’ve thrown out all the gifts they gave. I am having a great day and I’m over it… and then the next day you feel triggered by something and then start beating yourself up. Stop. A breakup is a death, it’s a transition and the more you can embrace your emotions and stop expecting them to be the same day to day, the easier it will be to ride the wave to the other side. 

2. Make a list of all the things that annoyed you in the relationship. Keep it somewhere you can see it often. 

Quirks. Things maybe you couldn’t do because they didn’t like it, etc. After the initial shock of the breakup wears off, whether you are the one who initiated or not, it’s easy to go into idealising the other person’s best traits and to only think about the good times and benefits. But this keeps you stuck. When you put the relationship on a pedestal, that hyper focus can make it much easier to keep playing out everything Iver and over again and driving you crazy. When you’re feeling weak, read your list or better yet, record and audio on your phone of you reciting the list and play it often! It will help you stay present. 

3. Connect with your body. 

Taking care of yourself can feel challenging when you are in the throes of. a breakup. But committing to listening to your body and paying attention to it is so important for your healing. Take a walk. Dance. Give yourself a soothing foot rub before bed. Breathe deeply and create some white space in your day to just be. If the thought seems unnerving, ask it, “Body, what would you like to share with me?” And then free write for a page and see what comes out! It may seem silly but body truth can help you uncover your feelings, release stuck emotions and thoughts and keep things moving forward, even when your heart is hurting.

Going through a break up is not easy. But by taking the steps above, you can move through the transition with greater ease and grace!

Q: What has helped you move through a break up? Share with us in the comments! 

Have You Ever Felt ‘Not Good Enough?’

There are so many triggers today that can make us feel like we just don’t measure up.

Magazines.

Pictures and posts on social media.

Well-meaning friends and family opinions.

And a lot of times, when you scroll through for things to feel better about yourself, the phrase, “just love yourself, focus on loving yourself” will come up.

It’s a valid point bathos many of us are taught how to actually do that?

Self-love can seem like this daunting, huge place with a ton of entrances, but you aren’t even sure how to get to the crossroads to pick the right entrance!

So, if you’ve ever felt ‘not good enough,’ especially around relationships and dating, let me put your mind at ease.

Instead of going into overwhelm about how to love yourself and if you are doing it right, start with just one step.

Do this instead and you may find that you naturally begin loving yourself and walking through the door without having to force your way in:

Your thoughts create your reality (true story from the trenches!)

Happy Tuesday!

We are smack in the middle of Mercury Retrograde, until June 22nd, a perfect time to: 

*revisit 

*review

*re-commit to what is most important to you. 

When it comes to relationships, it’s so easy to feel insecure. 

If you’ve been single for awhile and then get into partnership, this can bring up a lot of fears, even though it’s what you’ve said you wanted!

Have you ever felt just well…not good enough?

Doubting yourself and why someone is with you?

You are not alone AND you, my dear Goddess are so powerful. 

Your thoughts are powerful.

And you can use them to create, change and shape your reality.

I would love to share a story with you from the dating trenches. 

It’s about a woman I knew named Sandy (names and details have been changed for privacy).

What she discovered was so incredibly powerful and it applies to not just dating but all areas of your life where you feel a bit out of sync with yourself and the Universe. 

Click here to read it!

ps: Have you taken the love self-assessment yet? Click here!

Can You Truly Fall In Love Without Meeting In Person?

Happy Tuesday! 

As we navigate dating in this “new norm” the question came up-like, can you really, truly fall in love with someone online without ever meeting in person? 

I actually remember being in my college dorm room messaging with some guy I had met in a chat room from AOL (I’m totally dating myself but oh well!) 🙂

And now looking back, I wonder-wow-was what I thought I felt real or was it all in my head? 

Today, with everything that has unfolded with the pandemic, using apps to date has become more and more common, but this question still prevails: is the love real? 

I was recently interviewed about this very subject by Elite Dailycheck out the article here. 

When you finish reading, I invite you to share your thoughts with the community!