3 strategies to play a bigger love game

Is your Soul getting restless?

In love, this shows up as:

*toying with the idea of putting your Match.com profile up but then talking yourself out of it. 

*looking at your closet and having the classic, “So many clothes, nothing to wear” feeling 

*boredom with the “way it’s always been” routine. It’s safe. It’s comfortable. But you’re just well….bored to tears! You wonder is this all there is?

If you answered YES to any of the above, chances are high that it’s time to PLAY A BIGGER GAME Goddess!

Not just in love, but in life.

Luckily, I have three strategies to help you bump out of the boring and into the fabulous BIGGER, more SPARKLY arena! I’ll illustrate them in a true story from my dance class last night to make it more fun!



True Story:

For those of you that follow my work, you know I love to dance. It’s where I started (ballet) and I’ve been getting back into it slowly. You can read all about that crazy adventure ride in this blog post. But something interesting happened last night when I went to the intermediate class that got me thinking about you and upping your game in love. 

The short version:

I went there and decided to up my game and take intermediate ballet with the teacher everyone said was hot stuff and a former company member. When I checked in, instead of automatically assuming that I was there for the beginner class (which had happened before!), she just smiled at me and told me to proceed to Studio 1. That was a big deal because it is reserved normally only for the Kansas City Ballet company members rehearsals and was HUGE with lights and everything as if we were on stage. And as I took my place at the barre in the center, I could see myself from every angle and I could also feel certain ladies looking at me throughout some of the intricate combinations and I got that eerie familiar pressure to be “ON” my game and get all the steps right. In short, I was in the Goddess class. I was no longer going to be satisfied with being the best beginner when I knew I was ready for a challenge. We were all here to play. I sucked in my stomach and took a deep breath! Game ON! I was definitely challenged and when we got in the center in groups of three and four, the fear factor just increased. And my fear came true-I fell out of turns in front of EVERYONE, I stumbled on the slow adagio combination and I almost jumped straight into another group of dancers because I wasn’t spotting the right place! But I didn’t give up and I learned some valuable lessons you can apply to playing a bigger game in love and in life! 


1. Look the part and people believe you!

I came to dance class straight from a friend’s birthday party so I was sporting a bright red off-the-shoulder fab sweater, tight jeans and my black heels that gave me that extra boost of confidence. My make-up was done and  my hair was in a tight bun. I felt like a million bucks. And when I walked in, I got so many smiles and was treated like a VIP at the front desk. When I headed to Studio One, people assumed I was in the company and I got looks of admiration. It made me laugh inside, but I just enjoyed it. 

Your invitation: Ask yourself, “If I was my most fabulous self on (this date, in this relationship, on this stage, etc), what would I wear? Evaluate your wardrobe and vow to wear only the fabulous stuff. Strut it and see what happens! It works!


2. Step into the right vibe.

There was something about being in that huge legendary Studio that shifted my energy to match it, even though inside I was terrified of not measuring up to that image. I took my place at the CENTER of the room at the free-standing barres, something I would have likely avoided in the other studios because you see EVERYTHING on your body and you also are assumed to be the dancer that everyone along the wall follows if they get lost. But I just simply tapped into my environment and that was a professional, creative and inspiring vibe. I had to act the part and as a result, I tackled combinations that made my head spin with greater ease. 

Your invitation: Ask yourself when faced with a situation, “How would my most fabulous self choose to act?” Then go for it! You’ve got the wardrobe. Now act as if. And place yourself in an environment outside your comfort zone. Example: If you always meet a first date at the local Starbucks because it’s close to your house and it’s what you always do, pick an upscale lounge or cozy diner nearby! Make sure your fabulous self would want to go there!


3. Play full out (even if you fall!)

When you are playing a bigger game, you have to give yourself permission to fail and look like a dork. As you can see from my story, I messed up a LOT and it was very embarrassing, but I chose to keep going, knowing that that’s the only way to improve my game. And when you aren’t putting all your energy into being perfect (which is impossible), you free up your creative energy to be in the moment. Being in the moment and willing to fall on your face or say the wrong thing makes you irresistible and hot to trot. It’s a weird thing, but it’s true!

Your invitation: Ask yourself, “What would I do if I was willing to risk failing or messing up? What could be possible for me?”

Okay Goddess.

That’s what I got for you today.

I want to hear from you.

Question: Which one of the three strategies speak to you this week? Why? Share your comment!



ps: Want more?

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