are you making a decision from fear or inspiration? 3 signs to tell.

When you have to make a decision, it can be really hard to tell whether it’s the right one. Especially if there is a lot riding on the decision, we can easily downshift into fear because well, we need to make some decision, don’t we?10371443_10152110639312361_7115493803932630590_n.jpg

But there’s a huge difference between making a decision from fear and making one from inspiration.

Here are some clues to tell:

Fear looks like:

-feels heavy in your body, and you tend to be in your head trying to figure out all the reasons it can’t come together or that it will be hard.

-the decision moves you away from something you don’t want

-making a move to defend against an outcome that hasn’t happened yet (based on the past usually)

Inspiration looks like:

-feels light in your body, even if you’re not sure how it will all come together

-the decision moves you towards something you want

-making a move from a desire or curiosity based on who you want to be (not who you were or what current circumstances show you are possible). There’s still a desired outcome (we are human!) but you trust that whatever happens after taking this inspired action will be in service to your growth and your Path.

An example of this when it comes to relationships and taking care of yourself:

Fear:

You have a date with someone and text them to confirm the night before.

You haven’t heard back from them within the hour, so you cancel the date before they do.

(because that’s what always happens before, so why not beat them to it?)

Inspiration:

You have a dinner date with someone and text them to confirm the night before.

You haven’t heard back from them within the hour, so you make a decision within yourself. You will reach out to them one last time in the morning and if you don’t hear back by 12noon, you will just make other plans. No biggie. Your time is valuable. There will be other dates with people who value it.

Do you see how one puts you in the victim role and one puts you in the driver’s seat?

It’s never about the other person, although that’s the easy thing to do!

The more you can check in with your own intuition before making a decision and ask, “Hmmmm, could this be coming from fear or inspiration?” you will save yourself a lot of time and energy!

Want more?

Stay tuned because next week I will be sharing more self-care and love tips to help you understand what you need as a unique Soul to stop sabotaging. I’m really excited to share this groundbreaking work with you.

To get those free exclusive videos please go here to get regular updates and receive another free gift from me.

how to boost your intuition in under 10 seconds

I did a podcast interview a few years ago on self-care and trusting your intuition and the woman asked me

Q: “What is something super simple that we can all do no matter how busy life gets to start off our day right to hear our intuition?”

If you are like most people, you may feel like aren’t enough hours in the day to focus on intuitive-development or self care.

What typically happens is we go go go like little hamsters and then when we can’t take it anymore, we overindulge in food, drink, even spa services and vacations when if we just implemented some simple strategies into our daily life, we wouldn’t go into what I call, “self-pampering binges.”

So I’m going to share the same simple but powerful offering you can do right when  you open your eyes to set yourself up to tune into your gut feelings throughout the day.

It takes less than 10 seconds once you get some practice.

I call it…The Soul Word.

Right when you open your eyes (before your monkey brain starts to take over), ask yourself, “What’s my Soul word today?”

Listen to the first things that come.

It could be thematic like “peace” or an adjective describing how you want to feel “centered,”

Just go with one.

And let that be the word that choose to embody for the next 24 hours.

Why this is so powerful:

When you embody that word, you get to make sure that your actions and choices throughout the day match that energy.

 It helps you ‘check’ yourself and you can more easily make decisions by asking, “Hmmmm, does this request/opportunity/invitation support my word?”

As you align your actions and choices and even your body posture (back straight!) with the energy of that Soul word, your monkey brain gets to relax…it feels safe because it doesn’t have to work so hard to sort through this and that.

The Soul word acts as an energetic guard-rail to allow you to feel more clear throughout the day and therefore, tune into the subtle nudgings of your intuition.

This week’s Soul Q: What is your “Soul word” today? How will you embody this throughout your day?

Want more? Click here to get FREE access to Soul Love, a 5-day ecourse to attract love + feel happy, loved and free!

Diana Dorell

your april message…this one hit me over the head!

Happy Tuesday and welcome to a brand-new month!

April is all about welcoming love, fresh starts and embracing your power from a loving, clear space.

Ahhhh…..

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

Part of being able to welcoming in more love and starting fresh is listening to the messages coming from your intuition. But…

You know how sometimes you wish you didn’t hear an intuitive message?

Or have you ever gotten one that you know hits home…but you really really wish it didn’t?

If you’re into oracle card decks at all like me, you may have even had the experience of asking a question and pulling cards around it only to be like…um, no…I don’t want that card. Let me shuffle again…only to have the same darn card come up again! And again!

So you go for a walk or put on a show to try to distract yourself from the message you just received, only it’s still in the back of your brain like this annoying little tapping you can’t quite drown out.

Until you face the music and listen to what’s coming up past the discomfort of the delivery.

It’s those times when you wish you weren’t so intuitive, you wish you could just go back to being unconscious and blissfully ignorant to a Soul Truth that rocks your whole belief system or your world view. Yes, I’m being dramatic, but hey, depends on the message right?

So here’s one that I heard a few years ago that I didn’t listen to for a long. Ass. time.

And if I had listened to it it would have saved me so much time. Energy. Yes even money.

Can I share the story with you with the intent that it supports you in your own journey to love and self-love?

Once upon a time…

I was in a series of relationship after relationship, all ending around the same 1 year mark.

It was usually around that time, that I would start to seriously give my power away unconsciously and the belief that I uncovered after a lot of work and money was this:

If you are powerful, a man won’t love you. If you don’t need him to take care of you in every single way, a man will leave.

O.M.G!

It was so so deeply ingrained in my cells that inevitably around that time when the relationship would deepen, it’s like I became this shrinked version of myself.

I would start to sabotage any success in my business or career.

I emotionally ate and gained weight.

I stopped doing the activities that I loved like dancing and singing. In short, I became like Cinderella, but BEFORE she met the Prince.

Putting the man and his needs above my own. Overgiving from a place of fear that if I really let my power pop out, he wouldn’t be able to handle it…and I’d be left alone.

I treated my body poorly and engaged in sex when I didn’t really feel like it…or over-did it to compensate for the fact that it was the only area I felt I had some control over my life.

And the weird part was that the more I did these things…the more success would show up in the man’s life so he thought things were going awesome! He was literally getting all of my energy! And there was nothing left for me because I gave it all away.

As my friend Heather would say, “No bueno, girl!”

And I remember the moment the tough love intuition hit me.

I had just gone to San Diego to visit a man I was in a “complicated” relationship with (all on my dime of course, and on all of his terms…).

And I remember leaving his apartment after a passionate but emotionally confusing weekend when a very loud (but kind) voice said..

“It’s time to give up the Cinderella story. You never needed to be rescued. And this man or any man will never be able to love you the way you deserve if you keep giving your power away.”

W-h-o-a!

That one stopped me in my tracks. I started to cry immediately (which of course he didn’t even notice).

It took me three more weeks of ignoring that message until I finally had the courage to end the relationship and do the work I needed to do on myself to reclaim my energy and my power. I was on the road to recovery…and it felt damn good.

Here are 3 truths I realized. Take if you need.

Truth 1:: To receive true love at the Highest Level, you must love yourself and treat your body, mind and money with the utmost kindness, respect and grace.

Truth 2::  It is safe for you to be a powerful person. You can be in your power and be kind. Never confuse being in your power with being “mean, selfish, overbearing or unloving.” People may not like you in your power. That’s ok. Let them stand aside. They weren’t really authentic friends, partners, etc if they can only be around you when you shrink.

Truth 3:: There is a difference than being in a co-dependent relationship and in an inter-dependent one. The first comes from a total giving away of your power and choices and will diminish you. The second says, “You are powerful and capable and worthy of love. I am powerful and capable and worthy of love.”

Which one of the 3 Truths resonate with you the most this week?

Leave a comment and share with us! There is power in community.

And before you dash, let me ask you this:

Are you ready to feel more powerful and receive true love?

Are you ready to move out of co-dependency, set healthy boundaries and feel amazing and happy?

My good friend and founder of Hair Chair Confessions, Karen Stevenson is hosting a free series to help you have more self-love and self-respect and I am honored to be one of her featured speakers along with my dear friend Marcy Neumann and other relationship experts on self love and codependency.

Want to join us?! We are going to make this heavy topic FUN and I’d love, love, love to have you be a part of it with me!

Sign up here

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Have a blessed week!

Love,

Diana

And remember…everything awesome happens on the other side of letting go of your Cinderella story…at least the rescuing part 😉

when your head is at war with your heart, do this..

screen-shot-2016-12-13-at-7-39-04-amI should want this, I remember saying to myself after I got a job offer from a non-profit years ago.

It was everything I said I wanted. Steady pay, a heart-centered mission and would help kids indirectly. I would use my writing skills, my organizational skills…it was consistent.

But everything in my body just felt… tight.

You should want this, Diana. This is a good opportunity my mind kept chiming in.

Have you ever had this happen to you, where your head and your heart are at war?

For days, I tortured myself with sleepless, fitful nights where I battled out pros and cons in my head, tried to justify that I would still make time for the things that really made my heart sing; you know the drill, right?

But something deep deep inside me told me that if I took that job, I really wouldn’t make time for my dreams. I would be doing it because of fear and risk-avoidance. Not because it truly lit up my creative juices and felt expansive.

I should want it. But I just really didn’t.

In the end, I listened to my body, turned the offer down with bated breath …and my life took on a completely different trajectory. I ended up going back to school to get my yoga teacher certification and life coaching certification, living in the desert and reconnecting with my mother. Not exactly the plan, but I was so happy.

When I followed my intuition, everything inside me breathed a sigh of relief because I was aligned and centered with my Soul.

Was it a risk? Yes!

Was it worth it? Yes!

But every time you turn down a “should,” you train your subconscious mind to receive an absolute-OMG-I-couldn’t-have-imagined-this-YES! Tweet that!

The first weekend seminar of coaching school, I landed my very first coaching client!

Could I have seen that that would happen? No way Jose!

But that’s an example of how the Universe can surprise us and open you up to a world of possibilities you couldn’t even see before…when you choose your Truth over your insecurities or fears.

Soul Q: Have you ever experienced a war between your head and your heart? What was the situation and how did you move through it? Share! (I promise to read every single one, although I cannot guarantee a reply!)

That’s one of the things we are going to explore in Self Care for Your Soul in 2017.

And if you know that you’re tired of making decisions based on what you should want vs. what you really really really want, the good news is that it’s possible.

It requires learning how to make aligned decisions that bring you closer to your Purpose.

It’s about learning how to stop capping your own spiritual potential to receive.

Want to learn how? Early-bird registration ends Dec 15 (two days away!). Click here to learn more and grab your spot!

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the best love and life advice I ever got (true story)

Have you ever been on a date or had a big decision or presentation at work to make and you literally can’t stop your brain from totally spinning out of control like a hamster on a wheel on steroids?

That was me.

I’d like to share a true story with you with the intent that it helps you love and trust yourself more. It’s a story about business but really it’s about loving yourself full out and falling in love with the real you. Would that be ok?

It was Circa 2012.

I remember sitting in my apartment, crying and stressed out because I didn’t know what to call myself.

I was on the phone with my astrologer and halfway through my rant about how I didn’t know if I was on the right track in my business, in my life, in my crazy dating life that inspired The Dating Mirror, he shut me up in his very classy, British way.

And told me some of the hands-down best advice I’ve ever received in my entire life.

Let me take you back

But before I spill the beans, to fully appreciate his advice, here’s a little background on where it came from:

I was at a place in my business where everything was expanding. Like faster than I could imagine and I was constantly putting pressure on myself to label myself for the masses.

For those of you who have been following me for awhile, you’ve seen me go through several incarnations and brand names.

I started out doing Angel readings on the streets of San Francisco (no joke!), became a Reiki Master Teacher and got a radio and TV gig doing readings for people live on air for four years. I was unofficially labeled The Next Doreen Virtue.

Then years ago at a mastermind, a mentor came up with the name, The CEO Psychic, for my business. It was true. A lot of my clients are CEO’s and big shots in their industries. I shared the same stage as Deepak Chopra and went on with that moniker and brand and my career shot way up.

And shortly after that, because a lot of my clients really wanted my help with their relationships, family and self-confidence (even though they would come to me initially for business intuition advice and cleverly sneak it in at the end!) Five Star Love Life came about. But throughout each brand evolution, I realized something huge.

The Trouble with Labels

All were fabulous monikers and names to be associated with. Clever. Clear. Sexy.

The trouble was, I found that each time I tried to label myself, I started to feel weird.

I went way more into my head than was helpful.

I started trying to fit myself into a neat little box that came with owning a particular “name” and it brought up a lot of pressure, anxiety and self doubt.

  • I felt scattered and my life really mirrored that.
  • I had success but I was all over the place, literally.

I think I moved four times between 2011-2013.

  • My weight was up and down.
  • I had really great men in my life who I (or they) for one reason or another just couldn’t commit to.

And I really had to work hard to find my center. Because something felt well, off, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint it. I needed help.

So I booked a session with my astrologer.

And here is what he said:

“Stop thinking so much. You’re so much better when you don’t think.”

He knew that going into my head first wasn’t my Zone of Genius. It was my Zone of Chaos. The breakthroughs came when I sank into the flow of the moment and then made decisions from my gut. And then and only then, assessed with the analytical mind. When I reversed the order, I just diluted my own power.

So often, especially in our relationships, we over think things.

We make lists when we should just enjoy be-ing.

And when we are too in our head, we tend to switch off our hearts and switch on the judgement.

And the criticism. And the pressure.

Especially self-inflicted pressure. And then we aren’t truly engaging with the other person anymore. Or our life. And we start to sabotage….and we wonder why our life isn’t shaping up the way we want

Change can bring you back to yourself

I knew something had to change and it could only come from within me. So I made a commitment to stop trying to label myself and instead focused on how I could serve the world with my message: to help people trust and love themselves in a soulful way. 

Once the pressure of having to “find and fit a label” was consciously lifted off, I found that every area of my life improved.

  • I lost weight and had more energy for the things I loved.
  • I became way better at managing my money and investing in things I value vs things I think I should have.
  • And I attracted my current partner who truly accepts and loves me for who I am.

But none of that could have happened as quickly as it did if I hadn’t

  1. Consciously taken a step back to look at where I was choosing to place my energy (into obsessively over thinking and measuring every choice against how it fit into a stupid box vs. just being in the moment.)
  2. Seeing the blessings each incarnation brought me (gratitude and grace) and
  3. Made the choice to be present without worrying so much about what other people (and I) thought of me

It all begins with a simple choice to do things differently.

So, now over to you.

Q: Where do you need to stop overthinking things in your life?

Q: Where could you benefit from relaxing into the here and now?

Q: What could be possible when you do this?

Share with me in the comments below!

Want to significantly increase your energy + release old crap? Sign up for the New Moon global heart healing this Sunday, Oct 30!  (it’s FREE and it WILL be powerful!!)

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