I’m freaking out…

This week’s question comes from anonymous:

 

Q: Diana, I’m freaking out. Is it normal to be in love with someone after just one month of dating? I keep wanting to say ‘i love you’ but I don’t dare be the first one! I feel like he loves me back, but I wonder if I’m just being crazy? Help!

A: First off, it’s totally okay to feel whatever you are feeling! So, let go of judgement around what is ‘normal’ because honestly, everyone is different. Now, since you’ve been together with this guy for a month, consider that you are in the beginning stages of this relationship (first three months) when everything seems “extra rosy” and emotions can be heightened and highly influenced by the lovely hormone haze that is “oxytocin” (the pleasure hormone), making it hard to really see the relationship clearly. 

 

Having said that, the most important thing is to remember that you can’t control how he feels or responds, but you can choose your thoughts and the story you tell yourself in any given moment. 

 

You can choose to maintain a positive story around feeling “love” for this man without judging yourself and giving yourself permission to enjoy him and this high! Or can you choose to beat yourself up and question him and your feelings. Everything you need to know will be revealed in the right time, so my advice is to redirect your energy into enjoying yourself in this connection!

ps : Want to get away and join me for a super intimate retreat near New Orleans, LA this Spring? 

 

Chocolate. Wine. Fire pit breakthroughs.

Delicious healthy food.

Cozy, luxurious, peaceful surroundings.

More green than your eyes can take in.

Angel circles, intuitive ah-has and transformation!

And an intimate circle of Goddesses all coming together to break through old stories, tap back into yourself and what matters and manifest from a place of grace and ease!

 

*Space is limited to 5 Goddesses only! 

 

Interested in learning more? Click here and say YES RETREAT!

Mindset tip to get your needs met…and show up like the superstar you are.

Have you ever felt like your needs aren’t being met?

 

Do you have trouble communicating how you really feel to another person?

 

Do insecurities and fears hold you back in relationship?

 

I recently experienced this.

 

We had spent more than 24 hours together straight and well…somewhere in the middle of the afternoon, my inner introvert was really needing space.

 

But I didn’t know how to say that because I was so afraid of having it come off the wrong way.

 

Maybe he wouldn’t like me.

 

Or maybe I was just being bitchy and weird.

 

So instead of being a grown ass adult and communicating what I needed to, I proceeded to get on my phone, find a spa and book this elaborate 90-minute massage so I could get.away.

 

Now, I’m a big advocate for massage but I didn’t need to do that-I could have just said, “I really love spending time with you and I also will be needing my space to be alone periodically or I’m going to become really bitchy and resentful and you won’t know why.”

 

But I was scared. So I got the massage, some much needed personal time and he went to the bookstore to wait for me until I was out.

 

Mindset tip: When faced with a relationship issue or situation, ask yourself, “How would the SuperWoman/SuperMan, most aligned and healthy version of myself handle this?” 

 

This question taps into your creative mind and instead of focusing on problems, your subconscious starts going to work for you, cranking out responses, offering up solutions and possibilities you may not have even seen or considered.

 

Some of them might be cracked out but others may be right on point and give you the extra boost you need to stop freaking out and just act from a grounded headspace.

 

And while I was in my car driving home, I asked this very question to myself.

 

‘How would the super amazing, healthy, aligned version of myself handle this?”

 

Nothing came at first.

 

Then a little defensive voice that said, “You got a massage. Why are you complaining?” (temporary solution)

 

And then, after a few more minutes of really dropping in here’s what came:

 

She would call him.

 

She would know that by sharing it with him he would love her even more.

 

She would have a conversation that would give her permission to have her needs met again and again without passive aggressiveness, manipulation or coercion.

 

She would say straight up with so much love, “When I was in the kitchen and I told you that if you needed space it was okay to tell me, I was really speaking to myself. I needed space away to be with me and regroup but I was scared and so I didn’t say anything. I love spending time with you but if we spend the whole day together, please know that there will be times when I need to step away and be quiet for a good hour. It’s nothing personal. It’s just what I need to come back in without going crazy.”

 

So…yea.

 

That’s what I proceeded to do.

 

And the conversation went way better than the one in my head.

 

He actually said, “That is amazing because I need that introvert time too!”

 

And it led to an even deeper discussion about avoiding assumptions and just being direct with each other.

 

A small breakthrough and while I’m by no means perfect at this process, I do know it gets easier the more you can pause and ask.

 

When you step into that space of possibility and ask that question of your Super Self, it turns out even better than you could imagine.

 

Because you dial into a higher frequency version of yourself than the scared, insecure part of you that is afraid she’s not enough/won’t be heard/seen, etc.

 

Q: What is a situation you’re facing right now in your life that feels challenging? Would you be willing to ask yourself what your Super You version would say/do/handle it? Share with me in the comments!

 

Is having an uncomfortable conversation part of the next step? Click here to check out my 4-step process to have an uncomfortable convo with anyone!

do you feel pressure to ‘perform’ ?

Good morning!

I’m writing to you in the wee hours of the morning here in AZ and just got back from a walk with Bella under the First Quarter Moon. First quarter moons are a time when you can feel a surge to prove yourself or take on more but it’s actually the perfect time to just finish what you have started and focus on things that require a level of intensity and devotion.

With Valentines’ Day approaching next week, there can be so much pressure in our society to “perform”. For each other and yourself. To *have* a certain someone in your life and to make sure the world knows it, dang it! To have your love validated. Or to give yourself a big ole pity party because you feel like shit for not having a steady partner.

But what if instead of a performance, ripe with expectations, it was simply a reminder to acknowledge your primary soul mate relationship: between you and your Spirit/Universe/etc.

Everything truly is birthed from that primary connection. 

The way you let love in.

The way you trust that it’s already here.

The way you love another.

It’s all a giant cycle stemming from the relationship you have to trust yourself and trust that the Universe/your Spirit are in it for the long-haul, not some one-night stand or fair weather friendship.

Ahhhh….feels a bit different, doesn’t it? No pressure. Just acceptance.

<Did your shoulders drop too?!>

If you knew the Universe and you had an amazing connection, then every other relationship would be an outgrowth of that.

Some of the beliefs you may choose to accept could include things like:

:: The Universe loves me and supports me no matter what.
:: There is an abundance of anything I want in this lifetime, especially love.
:: It is safe for me to trust myself, and release the past.
:: I choose to find love wherever I go.
:: Each situation and each person that crosses my path is my spiritual teacher for the day.
What can I learn from them about myself?
and so much more.

That’s all for today.

Q: What would you believe if you knew that your relationship with yourself and the Universe was solid? 

Consider this question a moon musing…food for your Soul.

Happy first quarter and tons of love to you.

Diana