Q: I’m newly back in the dating game and am really trying to be mindful to not repeat the same patterns from old relationships. I’m ready for the real deal-I’ve looked at each ex and gotten clear on what didn’t work in that relationship (I even made a list!), but is there anything else I can do to help me prepare for someone new? Am I missing something?

A: Great question! There are so many things you can do to prepare, but for now, let’s focus on the list that you made. It’s awesome that you are diving deep into what didn’t work for you in the past so you can make different choices with the new person you want to call in.

However, in addition to making a list of the things that didn’t work, I invite you to look at your last 3 relationships (even if they didn’t work out) and write down the feelings or positive things that these men brought to you. I know this may sound strange, especially if your ex was a douche bag, but when you shift your perspective to see in what ways that relationship DID support you, even if it’s simply showing you something about yourself, you’ll see common threads. And those common threads become what I call your love threads. Those things that help you flourish in a partnership.

For example, when I did this exercise a few years ago, I saw that the last 3 people I dated seriously all brought the following gifts to me: the gift of sensitivity (emotional sensitivity to me and to the people I cared about), a spirit of generosity (these men all had generous hearts and also loved to make sure I felt taken care of) and a strong family connection (shared value of family). Now, those relationships didn’t work out for various other reasons, but when I saw the common threads, I understood that those three things were really really important to me in a partner. So, when I got back out into the dating game, after a date, I’d ask,

1. Do they give off an energy of sensitivity to what I’m saying and to the people around them (how did they treat the waiter, the lady in front of us, etc).?
2. Were they generous or were they guarded with their giving?
3. (If it came up) What is their relationship to family? Is it important or are they strictly flying solo in life?

Knowing your love threads can help you filter out who to see again and who to politely decline.

And that’s power.

This week’s Soul Q: What is your love thread? Pick one and share with us in the comments below!

Want to learn more about how I can help you let go of your love blocks and prepare for your soul mate?

Click here to book a complimentary “What’s My Love Block?” Assessment call!

A question I’ve just recently been asked is, “Can two people with different spiritual beliefs stay together for the long haul?”

More specifically, what happens when one person is on the spiritual path and one is not?

Is the relationship or friendship doomed?

It’s a great question! Let’s look at it from 3 key areas.

Step 1: Know what your deal breakers are for your beliefs/spirituality and pick your partners accordingly!

First off, it’s important to know what your relationship or friendship deal breakers are.

The things in a relationship (platonic or intimate) that you are unwilling to compromise on.

And then use that as a filter for who you allow in your inner circles.

Is it important to you that your best friend or life partner share the exact same beliefs and practice as you?

Example: I go to church twice a week, so so should they. I believe in Angels, so should they.

Or is having just a complementary, open-minded approach to life enough?

Example: They know I love Angels, and while they don’t pull Angel cards with me, they respect that I channel them and we practice gratitude daily before we go to sleep.

Knowing what you truly need in a partnership (or even a friendship) and communicating that can affect the longevity of the relationship because you are being true to yourself from the get-go.

Step 2: Identify if you are tolerating or compromising (an example)

If you’ve communicated how much it means to you that your man comes to a spiritual workshop with you at least once every 3 months and every time you bring it up, he’s turning on the T.V and tuning you out (and you don’t say anything), that is tolerating.

Over time, tolerating can turn to resentment and that can lead to leading separate lives and possibly, a permanent separation.

If on the other hand, you have had the same conversation and your man comes back with, “Honey, I know how much having me go with you makes you happy, but an important game is on the same day as the workshop you want to attend. Can you pick another date for us to go next month?” that is compromising.

It’s not about always getting what you want when you want it. It’s when both parties are staying true to themselves and also consciously tuning into the needs and desires of their partner to have a win: win.

Make sense?

Step 3: Listen to your intuition

As always, the question of “will it last?” depends on (1) how true each person is being to themselves (2) how that gets communicated in the relationship and (3) ultimately, if you want to stay or not! No one is making you stay! You deserve to be happy.

There are different ways to “be on the spiritual path” and if you are fulfilled in all your core areas but spirituality, ask your intuition if you can get creative with seeing another way you can share spiritual principles with each other than the obvious.

I used the example of sharing something you’re grateful for with each other everyday, which is a spiritual concept without using spiritual jargon like “meditation, chakras or Angels.”

Find yours.

Or if you are both so divided that you find yourself resenting your partner, ask your intuition if it’s time to head your own separate ways.

You may have outgrown the relationship or it may have served its purpose.

And then you can take the steps to heal and move forward if need be.

Either way, listen and act from a space of loving yourself and the rest of the details tend to figure themselves out!

credit: peek-photography.nyc

Q: Do you want to learn more about how you can open your heart to true love again?

I’m teaching a free online workshop “How to Let Go Of Your Love Blocks with the Romance Angels”  on the New Moon, Friday, December 11th @8pm EST.

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