are you in a toxic friendship? 5 signs to know for sure

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When a romantic relationship ends, it can be heart-breaking, but when you are questioning a friendship that has been in your life for much longer, it can bring up a lot inside because well, there is a lot at stake.

Some friendships simply fizzle over the course of time, but then there are other ones that may teeter on the edge of unhealthy but for whatever reason, you’re afraid to cut them loose.

Am I just being too needy?

Am I expecting too much?

Am I just freaking out about nothing?

These are some of the questions that can run through your head and it can be really hard to sift through those thoughts and determine whether you’ve just hit a bump in the road or it’s a friendship turned toxic.

Here are 5 signs to know for sure. Read each of them and pay attention to your body’s first response. If you have a particular reaction, take note!

5 signs you’re in a toxic friendship

  • You feel worse about yourself or physically drained or “off” within the first 5 minutes of them leaving your space or you leaving theirs.
  • You hide parts of yourself because you know you will be judged.
  • You have shared something intimate with them that you asked to be kept in confidence and they betrayed that trust
  • You only hear from them when there’s something catastrophic or dramatic going on in their lives (with you in the starring role as unpaid therapist).
  • You only hang out with them because you are worried that if you break up with them, they will feel so terrible (putting their needs above your own)

What next?

Once you’ve assessed your friendship, the next step is to consider how you want to address it.

If you’ve determined you have a toxic friendship, one option is to distance yourself from that person. Another is to have a conversation with them and set some boundaries or in some cases, have the “friend breakup” talk.

Need help with knowing what to say? Check out one of my most popular posts: 4 Steps to Having an Uncomfortable Conversation

The bottom line is this: We teach the people in our lives how to treat us. The more you can spot red flags early on, the more space you create in your life for awesome friends who treat you right!

Your turn: Have you ever been in a toxic friendship? What did you do to come out of it or what is one thing you learned about yourself through that? Share with us in the comments (down below and to the right!)

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New Moon Reading Special (until February 1)

What does this New Moon mean for YOU?
New Moons are a time of birthing new conditions, re-setting your foundations for lasting success in 2017 and re-aligning spiritually.
When you mix your unique energies with the energies of the planet, it is easier to call in what your Soul wants with grace and ease.
And the Angels can help you find peace in your heart around the issues that arise during this powerful time. So you can let go of what’s held you back, see the lesson and begin to heal. I know how easy it is to feel alone or scared during this time, like things aren’t going to get better or how easy it is to get stuck in worry, wondering what’s coming up or why stuff is happening!
One of my greatest pleasures and Purposes is to help amazing Lightworkers like YOU to tune into the natural cycles of your journey, help you pin-point the possible roadblocks and to help you use the energies that are coming up to help you move forward courageously!
And so until 6pm Pacific February 1, I’m offering a special email reading/healing combo to support you during the New Moon shifts!
Click here to book yours! I’m excited to connect with you.

a mudra (body symbol) to help you ward off negative vibes + still let people in

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I learned this simple mudra from a healer in Sedona and you can use it

    • In a public place where you feel energetically overloaded
    • In the middle of someone venting at you
    • Whenever you need to pull your energy back to yourself and tune out the energies around you.

Why it works: For the curious 🙂

      • Each interlaced index finger/thumb represents the masculine and feminine energies within you coming together.  The “infinite Source.” Basically, you are in a space of balance within yourself and nothing can come inside that loop. This is to help your upper chakras feel balanced and in tune (Chakras 4, 5, 6, 7)
      • The crossing of your ankles mimics the same pattern as your fingers and helps your lower chakras feel balanced and in tune (Chakras 3, 2 and 1).

Try it out and see how it works for you!

Q: What is one place you know you will try this out? Share with us in the comments below!

Ready for more? Sign up for FREE weekly updates and tips to help you trust and love yourself. Click here

in a rut? take this phrase out of your vocabulary…

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Do you feel like things are stagnant in your life right now?

Are you in a relationship rut?

You are not alone!

A few years ago, I woke up at three am with cold sweats and a piercing awareness that my relationship with the man that was lying beside me was no longer healthy for my Soul…and it was time to go.

I didn’t want to know this information and sometimes our intuition gives us messages we really really would prefer to ignore.

But it was clear as a bell and I remember going over this one phrase in my head that not only kept me up at night but also delayed me moving forward.

I felt powerless, confused, alone and guilty.

But it wasn’t until I was able to take back my power and scrutinize the words I was obsessively looping in my head that I finally felt ready to break free, have the uncomfortable conversation and start to move forward.

It all boiled down to two little words.

And these two little words usually come up when we are feeling stuck or powerless to move through a situation or relationship in my case that’s taken the wind out of sails.

It’s time to cut them out.

Watch the video below to learn what they are and a one-word solution to start taking your power back ASAP.

This week’s Soul question: Have you ever struggled with this? What is one thing has helped you get out of it? Share with us below!

Are you ready to bring some magic back into your life and a lightness in your heart?

I am a relationship healer and I’m here to help you trust and love yourself at the highest level.13086866_701728107387_5427378868050236871_o.jpg

One of my special gifts is helping my clients let go of their ex and other subconscious-level blocks that are stopping you from attracting your soulmate.

I am currently enrolling just a handful of action-taking, ready-for-love Souls (are you one of them?) for private, 1:1 intuitive coaching and massive energy healing.

If you are ready to make some major changes in your life but aren’t sure where to start, I am happy to announce that I have opened up my calendar to take a select number of complimentary consultations (15-20 minutes) to

1. Get to know you and your desires better. Are you looking to get married? Just out of a breakup and looking to heal? Wanting to work on yourself and self-love so you can get back in the dating game? Fill me in!

2. There are 4 core blocks I see that stop you from being a love magnet. With your permission, we can do an energetic Love Assessment to see which of the 4 or which combos of the 4 are your primary blocks.

3. We can chat about solutions to help you unblock and work together and I will of course answer all your questions about that! By booking a consult you are never obligated to purchase any services. It is simply the first step in helping you make a decision to move forward.

Click here to book yours!

ready to kick your old pattern to the curb? do this!

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Q: I’m newly back in the dating game and am really trying to be mindful to not repeat the same patterns from old relationships. I’m ready for the real deal-I’ve looked at each ex and gotten clear on what didn’t work in that relationship (I even made a list!), but is there anything else I can do to help me prepare for someone new? Am I missing something?

A: Great question! There are so many things you can do to prepare, but for now, let’s focus on the list that you made. It’s awesome that you are diving deep into what didn’t work for you in the past so you can make different choices with the new person you want to call in.

However, in addition to making a list of the things that didn’t work, I invite you to look at your last 3 relationships (even if they didn’t work out) and write down the feelings or positive things that these men brought to you. I know this may sound strange, especially if your ex was a douche bag, but when you shift your perspective to see in what ways that relationship DID support you, even if it’s simply showing you something about yourself, you’ll see common threads. And those common threads become what I call your love threads. Those things that help you flourish in a partnership.

For example, when I did this exercise a few years ago, I saw that the last 3 people I dated seriously all brought the following gifts to me: the gift of sensitivity (emotional sensitivity to me and to the people I cared about), a spirit of generosity (these men all had generous hearts and also loved to make sure I felt taken care of) and a strong family connection (shared value of family). Now, those relationships didn’t work out for various other reasons, but when I saw the common threads, I understood that those three things were really really important to me in a partner. So, when I got back out into the dating game, after a date, I’d ask,

  1. Do they give off an energy of sensitivity to what I’m saying and to the people around them (how did they treat the waiter, the lady in front of us, etc).?
  2. Were they generous or were they guarded with their giving?
  3. (If it came up) What is their relationship to family? Is it important or are they strictly flying solo in life?

Knowing your love threads can help you filter out who to see again and who to politely decline.

And that’s power.

This week’s Soul Q: What is your love thread? Pick one and share with us in the comments below!

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Want to learn more about how I can help you let go of your love blocks and prepare for your soul mate?

One of my special gifts is helping my clients let go of their ex and other subconscious-level blocks that are stopping you from attracting your soulmate.

I am currently enrolling just a handful of action-taking, ready-for-love Souls (are you one of them?) for private, 1:1 intuitive coaching and massive energy healing.

If you are ready to make some major changes in your love life but aren’t sure where to start, I am happy to announce that I have opened up my calendar to take a select number of complimentary consultations (15-20 minutes) to

  1. Get to know you and your desires better. Are you looking to get married? Just out of a breakup and looking to heal? Wanting to work on yourself and self-love so you can get back in the dating game? Fill me in!
  2. There are 4 core blocks I see that stop you from being a love magnet. With your permission, we can do an energetic Love Assessment to see which of the 4 or which combos of the 4 are your primary blocks.
  3. We can chat about solutions to help you un-block and work together and I will of course answer all your questions about that! By booking a consult you are never obligated to purchase any services. It is simply the first step in helping you make a decision to move forward.

Click here to book a complimentary “What’s My Love Block?” Assessment call!

3 tips to let go of a relationship…with love

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Ending a relationship can be so emotional and hard.

There are so many emotions that can come up and even if we know that letting go is for our highest good, there may be a part of you that holds on.

In this video, I’ll share 3 tips to help you let go of a relationship that has run its course…with love.

This week’s soul question: Which one of the 3 tips will you apply to help you release during this Eclipse week?

Share with me in the comments below!

For more, please check out my new book, The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again on Amazon!

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Prefer to read?

3 Things I’ve learned about letting go of a relationship (TEXT)

  1. You don’t need to have them physically present for you to move on.
    You can do it energetically. This concept of releasing energy from the past without having to talk to them in front of you, in the flesh, used to confuse me…until I tried it and was finally able to start the healing process and move forward.
  2. Stay in the present and accept your part in the past.
    So often when a relationship ends, we want to re-hash it over and over again, usually from the point of view of our Ego, which stars us as the hero/heroine. But all this does is keep you a victim to a story that isn’t serving you. When we instead take 100% responsibility for our part in what happened, then the energy can start to move and you can see beyond the haze of your pain.
  3. You can still love someone and let them go.
    So often when I would go through a breakup, I would just brush aside any feelings of love that I had for that person because I felt so hurt. But the truth is, true, authentic Soul-level love is always present, even if it’s in your Highest Good to let each other go. Love never does; it simply changes form and expands in different directions.