Which relationship team are playing for? Quiz inside!

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Do you want a healthy, connected, passionate relationship where you get to be yourself, feel adored and appreciated?

Do you want to hold onto the success you’ve created and feel like it’s only getting better as opposed to feeling like you have to compromise yourself or struggle?

Congratulations! Most of us do. But one thing I noticed is that the people who seem to be happiest in their relationships (and not surprisingly in their careers) play for a very different team than the majority. And it starts with who they are BE-ing not necessarily what they are DO-ing.

Find out which team you predominately play for and which one sets you up for the most success below!

Disclaimer: I’m a basketball fan (one of the few sports I’ll actually watch and play for fun!) and as you read these, please know that they are generalizations meant to help you see yourself better in relationships but are not representative of every single person.

 

The Teams: Which One Are You On?

Relationship Team #1: Defense

Players on this team:

  • Tend to over-give out of guilt or fear that something will be taken away from them if they don’t

  • Are poor at setting boundaries with themselves and others (and/or actually sticking to them)

  • Play to not fail.

  • Top excuses of why they can’t be who they want to be: “I don’t have TIME. I’m too BUSY. I have to wait until ______________changes and then I’ll do it.”

  • Wait for external circumstances to change before taking a risk for fear or hurting someone or losing everything. (And then of course these people end up with FAR less than they deserve and the cycle repeats).

Relationship Team #2: Offense

Players on this team:

  • Tend to push others away emotionally for fear that something will be taken away from them if they open up/are vulnerable

  • Set strong boundaries and are quick to write people off when they cross them or fail to meet their high expectations (take-no-prisoners-attitude)

  • Play to conquer or prove something.

  • Top excuses of why they can’t seem to have a healthy relationship: “No one measures up to me. I need someone as/more successful/hot/better reputation etc than me. I refuse to settle for anything less.”

  • Jump into the next relationship/experience without completing the last one or slowing down to see the lessons learned (And of course, because they never completed, they bounce from love to love blaming the other person or saying that there is no one out there for them, but they refuse to look at the common denominator: themselves!)

 

Now I know you might be saying to yourself, “Great, Diana, so what’s the “right” team then?”

First of all, its not about right/wrong.

It’s about taking the best of both teams and blending them into a BALANCED energy.

 

Check it out:

 

Relationship Team #3: Hybrid for Success

 

From Light side of #1

  • Exhibit compassion for another person and themselves

  • Feels safe to draw a boundary and communicate it, even if they are afraid

  • Takes risks and plays to WIN, even if that means temporary discomfort or a change in circumstance

 

From Light side of #2

 

  • Knows that the relationship is more important than needing to be “right”

  • Feels safe to say I need help/be vulnerable

  • Completes what they started and is willing to admit when they made a mistake

  • Self-reflective and willing to listen to constructive feedback/give constructive feedback while keeping Ego intact

 

Take Action: Your Turn!

 

It’s not an exact science, but by practicing and trying on the characteristics above, you will be well on your way to attracting healthy, dynamic and fulfilling relationships!

 

Q: Which Relationship Team quality will YOU try out this week?

 

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www.Dianadorell.com

 

Do you tend to take things personally? Try this on for size!

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Do you tend to take it personally when things don’t go your way or things don’t go as planned?

When it comes to our relationships, this can wreck unnecessary havoc and stress if you let it take the reins.

Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world, but it requires a conscious shift in mindset.

 

A real-life example of a brave, fabulous woman named Nancy

*names have been changed for privacy

 

*Nancy came to me devastated and very anxious. She had recently gone out with a man who treated her like the fabulous Goddess she is and whom she had a really great first connection with. When he walked her to her door, he leaned in and instead of trying to come in or give her a goodnight kiss, he told her, “I had such a wonderful time with you. You are beautiful.”

 She was stunned and shocked. Immediately, she assumed she had done something wrong because he hadn’t wanted to come in and take their relationship to the next level. Was it her body? Was it what she asked him during dinner? Why wasn’t he wanting to sleep with her? What was wrong with her? The mind kept going. Thoughts like…”I knew there were no good men out there. Nobody wants me. I’m not sexy. Etc. Etc. Etc.” (I call this the Ego rant).

 

I gently shared with her:

“Nancy, one of the patterns you’ve been letting of/changing  is needing external validation in the form of sex/physical demonstration from the man in order to feel desired. You said you’re tired of attracting men who only use you for sex and don’t want anything else from you and you’re tired of having to do everything (being in masculine energy). Take a step back and if you’re open, try this possibility on.

 

You actually manifested a man who is the opposite of what you’ve had before. And you did that pretty quickly and without needing to push for it or make it happen a certain way (being in the feminine).He treated you like a lady and instead of wanting sex from you on the first date or getting physical, he told you you were beautiful. Your Soul probably LOVES this but there may be a core part of you that is like…”Red flag! Red Flag! This isn’t what we’re used to! Something must be wrong with this picture. I have to DO something about it (Ego rant and freak-out).

 

She paused and with a new lightness in her voice replied, “You know what? I never thought about that before. I guess I hadn’t seen that I actually did create what I say I wanted. But when he treated me well, it was so foreign that I just assumed it was me doing something wrong because he didn’t want to get physical right away.  But I did change the pattern. It just felt really strange.”

 

Exactly. But with practice, that new pattern becomes second-nature. The Ego likes to have a field day but in the end, your Soul knows what it deserves.

 

The Core Lesson: Before you take something (anything personally):

 

1. Call yourself out.

You know you’re in defensive, insecure, taking-things-personally mode because you can tend to feel SEPARATE or isolated from another or the world in some way. Your body may tense and tighten and your breathing may get shallow. If you’re there, that’s your cue to verbalize it. Say ALOUD if you can. “Ok, I’m in fear mode right now. This sucks. I feel so upset….Let your ego RANT until it’s exhausted. It just wants to be heard, but it’s like a little kid having a tantrum. Don’t take what it says too seriously.

The key? Let it ALL out (in a safe space like a journal or in your room) but once you’ve had it out, move on to step 2 without needing to recreate what you spewed in this step. The truth is, it doesn’t matter. Sometimes we just need to air out our Ego’s energy before we can hear the Soul’s truth (step 2).

 

2. Ask, “What am I learning about myself right now?”

This will automatically shift your focus from YOU and what YOU aren’t getting from someone or something to what you are LEARNING about the experience (abundance and possibility).

With practice, this will get easier and like Nancy, you’ll be well on your way to creating harmonious relationships that uplift you and empower you!

 

Take Action: Your Turn!

1) Have YOU ever taken something personally?

2) What did you learn about yourself in that experience? Any tips to stop doing this? Share away!

ps: Want to know the Top 7 Mistakes Most Successful Women Make That Keeps you Single?

 

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Love,

Diana

Want to set yourself apart from the crowd? The most common thing people ask on a date (and in life) + what to say instead

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Soul-centered dating tip #2 is here for you!

Have you ever been out with someone new and they of course ask you the inevitable question (can you guess what it is?) ______________

If you’re a Soul-centered, fabulous woman, you probably already know that in order to stand out from the crowd, you have to do things well…a little different. Authentic to you. Yes. But different than everyone else or what you’ve been taught you SHOULD say on a date.

This tip has literally changed my life and my relationships (and not just in love). I’m excited to share this simple, yet powerful tweak with you that you can apply to any conversation, but especially on that hot date you know you’re going to be going on soon!

In this SHORT (3:01 min) video you will:
● learn what the most common question people get asked (and ask) and why it’s actually blocking the energy flow of love
● learn what to say if you get asked the question above that positions you as graceful, insightful and damn attractive to the other person
● learn a new way to ask the question above that sets you apart from the crowd and opens up your intuitive channels!

Fun Bonus: I experimented with some music in this video and the name of the track of course is called “Catwalk!” Work it girl!

IMPORTANT:
After you watch, be sure to post a comment to the question below! I love hearing from you and you never know who needs to see exactly what you have to say too!

YOUR TURN:

Q: Ok, hot mama…what are YOUR P’s? Do you have a unique way you handle the common question on a date? Leave a comment below

Thank you so much for reading and if you enjoyed this, please share it with your friends and get on the LOVE train below!

Want more?

Can I send you a FREE gift? The Top 5 Mistakes Women Make That Block You From LOVE! (audio)

Get it here when you subscribe for updates (it’s FREE).

 

A true + slightly embarrassing dating story (plus a secret tip that every woman should know!)

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Do you crave a date who is interesting, hot and yes, connects to your Soul and Spirit in a way that no one has before?

Have you ever had a second date with someone and everything went great (or so you thought) and then you never heard from them again?

You probably wonder, Is it ME? Did I do something wrong?

And your girlfriends assure you, “NO! You’re fabulous! It wasn’t you. It’s him! Loser!”

Let me help you out.

In this video, Soul-Based Dating Secret #1, you will learn:
● what soul-based dating is and why it’s the key to a soul-mate level love
● hear a true (and let’s face it, VERY embarrassing dating story) of mine with the lesson I learned about why a guy sometimes doesn’t call you (even if the date was great!)
● a simple action you can take that makes all the difference between going on just another date vs. a potentially GREAT date. (and it’s totally in your control!)

Important: After you watch, be sure to post your comment to the question below! You never know who it could help or who will need to hear EXACTLY what you have to say.

YOUR TURN!

Have YOU ever been on a date where the guy or gal talked all about WORK?

Have you been that person?

How did you handle it or what did you learn? Share your experience with us in the comments section below and ….

Stay tuned because next week, I’m divulging a secret tip that will make getting to know someone (date or otherwise) a LOT more fun.

ps: Want it before everyone else plus personal tid-bits I don’t’ include on the videos? Be sure to join my Five Star Love Life newsletter family here!

3 ways to know whether you should date them again or ditch them

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Q: Should you go out with someone again based on a first impression?

 

We’ve all been trained to make good first impressions, whether it be for a job interview or a first date. But is a first impression all it’s cracked up to be or are you only seeing one side of a person and perhaps you need to go out with them several times before you trust what you’re feeling?

 

A: It’s a great question and while I’m not you (and I don’t know your date in question), I do have 3 insights on the subject to help you feel more secure in your dating game.

 

1. See how they treat other people on your date

Do they appear to be kind and charming with you but make a snide comment about the wait staff? If you’re waiting in any kind of line, do they complain or do they make conversation with the people next to you? How your date treats others when he/she is at his “best” says a lot. Pay attention.

 

2. Watch for give and take.

Someone who is a match for you will be as interested in learning about you as they are in sharing information about themselves. If someone is withholding when you ask them questions and deflects to ask about you all the time, that is a red flag. If, on the other hand, they answer thoughtfully and also listen to you intently that is a great sign! (you can tell the difference between that and someone waiting for their turn to talk). Use your intuition.

 

3. Follow YOUR first instincts following the date

What I mean is, instead of paying attention to how you feel when you’re with them on the date, pay attention to how you feel or information that comes to you AFTER THEY LEAVE/the date concludes. Not an hour after, but right within the next few minutes. Do you feel happy? Excited? Zapped of energy? Write those first impressions down as you will have valuable information from your intuition before your heart gets involved.

 

Now it’s YOUR turn:

 

1) Have YOU ever been on a date where your first impression was right on (or vice versa), off target? What happened and how did you handle it?

 

2) What helps you assess whether to go on a 2nd date?

 

Share with us by leaving a comment!

 

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