Drop the Mask + Go Deeper (Ask This Question)

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been watching Halloween-themed movies literally as soon as October 1st hit. 

Think Hocus Pocus (OMG-I want to be Sarah Sanderson! and Addams Family. 

My fiancé, Rob, has made it his personal mission to have me watch classics that I’ve never seen-example: I saw the original 1970 something Halloween with Jamie Lee Curtis…and I loved it and was completely freaked out after. 

He joyfully went on to share that there are like 7 more Halloween sequels. Hmmm, not sure I loved it that much???

Anyhow, it got me thinking about masks.

The ones we wear.

The ones we take off. 

And why we even feel like sometimes it’s just not safe to be the real us and ditch the masks. 

Especially when it comes to love, there’s nothing more refreshing than watching someone just let their guard down and be themselves.

Sometimes it’s revealing.

Other times it’s surprising.

But when you come right down to brass tacks, truth is powerful.

When someone shows you who they really are, in all their imperfect glory?

It’s beautiful. Refreshing. And you can almost feel the palpable sign for r-e-l-i-e-f.

And it gives you permission to show your true, imperfect self too.

Because only then can you find out if you have what it takes to go the distance. 

It takes way less energy to be yourself than to be any other watered down or distorted version.

Energy you could be using to develop a real connection and love with someone! 

But if you aren’t willing to drop the mask with yourself, how can you expect to forge that real deep connection that lasts with someone else?

So…here are some Soul questions you can answer to allow more of the real you to come out. 

Grab your journal and something yummy. 

It’s time to get real with yourself in the name of love.

Q: What I’m afraid people would see about me if they really got to know me is…

Q: If you really knew me, you see that…

Q: If I let people see the real me, the worst that could happen is…

Q: If I let people see the real me, the best that could happen is… 

Happy Halloween and happy Soul journaling!

Want to share one of your insights? Leave me a comment!

It’s Go Time

Maybe it’s the end of the month vibes, but I’m all fired up today as I write this to you.

It’s go time. 

At some point, you just have to decide. 

Decide you’re available for more. 

Decide that you’re done tolerating XYZ once and for all.

Decide that you are worthy. You are smart enough. You are deserving of a beautiful, fulfilling and nourishing life and relationship.

Do you hear me? 

No one else is going to decide that for you.

Sure, your friends may tell you how great you are. 

You may like Instagram memes that tell you you are fabulous.

But if  you don’t decide… like really really decide way deep down to only to be available for what it is you keep saying you want. 

Well… I’m calling your bluff. 

It will fall flat. 

You are just spinning your wheels.

It sounds good. 

You’re ‘making progress’.

But you could just skip all that BS and decide. 

So I ask you, the brave ones reading this…

When it comes to love: 

Q: What are you available for? 

Q: What are you not available for? 

Q: What are you deciding right now? 

Hit reply and tell me. 

Leave a comment.

Declare it Goddess! 

Sermon over.

Feel free to roam the cabins. 

How to Put Yourself Together After a Breakup

Happy Tuesday! 

Today, I’m taking your questions from the community. 

And we are talking about… breakups. 

Q: “Diana, I’ve just broken up with a man I thought I was going to marry. I feel so confused and lost and I just need to get myself together. but I don’t even know where to start. I Don’t want to burden my girlfriends as they are probably tired of hearing my sob stories. Help!” 

A: Thank you for writing! 

Breakups can be so painful and get us to question our very existence, worth and lovability. 

But they don’t have to break you. Here are three things you can do as you move through this difficult time. 

1. Stop expecting everyday to be the same. Embrace your emotional cycles. 

So often we think, okay, I’ve purged them from my phone. I’ve put myself back on the dating apps. I’ve thrown out all the gifts they gave. I am having a great day and I’m over it… and then the next day you feel triggered by something and then start beating yourself up. Stop. A breakup is a death, it’s a transition and the more you can embrace your emotions and stop expecting them to be the same day to day, the easier it will be to ride the wave to the other side. 

2. Make a list of all the things that annoyed you in the relationship. Keep it somewhere you can see it often. 

Quirks. Things maybe you couldn’t do because they didn’t like it, etc. After the initial shock of the breakup wears off, whether you are the one who initiated or not, it’s easy to go into idealising the other person’s best traits and to only think about the good times and benefits. But this keeps you stuck. When you put the relationship on a pedestal, that hyper focus can make it much easier to keep playing out everything Iver and over again and driving you crazy. When you’re feeling weak, read your list or better yet, record and audio on your phone of you reciting the list and play it often! It will help you stay present. 

3. Connect with your body. 

Taking care of yourself can feel challenging when you are in the throes of. a breakup. But committing to listening to your body and paying attention to it is so important for your healing. Take a walk. Dance. Give yourself a soothing foot rub before bed. Breathe deeply and create some white space in your day to just be. If the thought seems unnerving, ask it, “Body, what would you like to share with me?” And then free write for a page and see what comes out! It may seem silly but body truth can help you uncover your feelings, release stuck emotions and thoughts and keep things moving forward, even when your heart is hurting.

Going through a break up is not easy. But by taking the steps above, you can move through the transition with greater ease and grace!

Q: What has helped you move through a break up? Share with us in the comments!