Ever worried that you aren’t good enough to be in a relationship? True story + Soul tip below!

You may have heard the saying, “Your thoughts create your reality.”

Today I want to share a story with you from a woman named Sandi. It’s about the power of your thoughts, the power of self-inquiry and the decision to be powerful and loving to yourself no matter what crazy shi& happens. Note: *all names has been changed for privacy

Sandi:

Sandi is a smart, beautiful, loving woman. She was in a relationship with a man named Jim that was getting progressively more serious and she shared with me that one of her biggest fears was that he would find “someone better” than her, be swept off their feet and that they would want to leave her.

“I know, I know” she’d say. “It’s silly, but he’s so wonderful and I feel like there is going to be someone prettier, smarter and more attractive than me that is just going to make him question why he’s in this.”

But, from all the conversations we had had, it sounded like this guy really adored her and that she had nothing to worry about. But still, when we would talk, the deeper into the relationship she got, the stronger that fear would pop up and she’d worry and worry aloud, wondering about the day when the other shoe was going to drop and he’d leave her for someone else.It was a story that she seemed very certain of and each time she told it, it never really varied, although outwardly, everything seemed to be going just fine.

 

A Few Months Later

Well, a few months later, that’s exactly what happened. He left her for another woman and is now married to her and living the life she dreamed about. Now, I share this story because Sandi is an incredibly resilient, self-reflective woman and although it was an incredibly painful experience, she learned a valuable lesson that I hope inspires you to look at in your own life, relationships and otherwise.

“The thoughts that you keep giving energy to are the ones that will create your reality.”Now, was it all on her that her worst nightmare manifested?

No!

Who knows what was happening with the guy in question or what was happening behind closed doors.

The Ah-Ha

But the part that I wanted to share with you is what happened within her. She saw that she although she couldn’t control him or what he was going to do, she DID have responsibility over her predominant thoughts and energy.

And upon reflecting on what happened, she got clear. It was a huge Ah-Ha that applies to any area of your life where you are afraid or feeling insecure.

“I was putting coins in the piggy bank called I’m Not Good Enough and I could have been feeding the bank, I AM Good Enough and Then Some. I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to realize what I was doing, but now I’m cleaning up how I talk to myself!”

She realized how truly powerful our thoughts are and instead of putting energy into her fears, she started using that newfound energy to daydream and visualize  a version of herself that believed she was more than enough for a man (or anything for that matter!)

Last time I spoke to her, she said she felt like a fog had lifted, she was actually smiling again and with the mental and physical energy she now had, she was actually looking forward to planning a long-awaited trip, which she had been putting off for a long time.

 

Your Weekly Soul Lesson:

I’ll say it a few different ways. Use what works and leave the rest!

When we consciously pour energy into thoughts that make us feel powerful + peaceful , we create a strong foundation for our true dreams to manifest. Click to Tweet

When the energy you pour into your fears is less than the energy you pour into your desires, you are a force to be reckoned with. Click to Tweet

Your thoughts create your reality. Ask yourself, “Where is my energy going in this moment? To my fear or towards peace? Re-direct yourself accordingly.” Click to Tweet

Diana Dorell Red PicYour Turn:  What is a vision you would like to give thoughts and energy to this June? Share if you feel guided with us in the comments below!

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A new perspective on feeling lost…the GPS theory

Diana DorellCredit: Peek Photography

Diana Dorell
Credit: Peek Photography

“Life is like a compass. It shows you where you are going, but not how to get there.”

-someone brilliant (I read it in a book last week and honestly can’t remember! if you find out, let us know!)

 

Wow. When I read that, something just lit up for me.

 

Have you ever found yourself obsessing about the “how” when it comes to a relationship?

 

-How and when am I going to meet him?

-How will I know if he’s really over his ex like he says?

-How do I know if this is actually going to go anywhere or if he’s going to break my heart again?

 

How. How. HOW. Gosh we are obsessed, aren’t we?

 

Trying like hell to get the freakin compass of life to somehow miraculously turn into a GPS with the full on step-by-step zoom in, zoom out feature and George Clooney’s voice guiding us.

 

In our technology, socia media-crazed world, we are so used to getting immediate, instantaneous information that especially for the Type-A freaks like me, it’s helpful to remember that when it comes to your intuition and your internal guidance system with the Universe, it’s about going back to the basics. The opposite of a GPS approach.

 

It’s about:

-slowing down and being okay with stillness even in a busy world (your intuition speaks in subtle frequencies, not 140 characters or less.)

 

-knowing what you want or the feeling behind what you want, (clarity is important. otherwise your arrow will be spinning out and you will be very dizzy and frustrated!) and

 

-staying open and trusting enough to head into the wilderness to figure out if it’s getting you closer or taking you further away from True North. (aka what you most want.)

When you try to control the “how,” I find that that’s usually the point where we will experience:

-helplessness

-confusion

-worry

-frustration

etc.

 

And basically, we go into our head and our intuition can’t reach us all the way up there.

 

So, here’s my invitation to you. It’s a bit open-ended and unlike a lot of my other posts, this isn’t about a step-by-step solution but more of a chance to explore this sense of ease and grace that comes when you stop controlling the how. It’s about following one nudge you’re getting. Just one. And with the approach of your life being like a compass, are you open to experiment with seeing where that one nudge takes you?

 

Guiding question:

1) Where have you been trying to control the “how?” pick one specific situation in your life. (the first one that comes to mind is perfect!)

2) If you weren’t feeling helpless/confused/lost/worried/scared, etc, what is ONE nudge or insight you have about your situation that could help you let go and be more like the compass?

3) Go do that and report back! I double dare you!

 

Have a great week and if you’d like to explore further, consider booking a Soul reading for yourself!

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3 steps to surviving wedding season

Welcome to June gorgeous!

Diana DorellCredit: Peek Photography

Diana Dorell
Credit: Peek Photography

The month of tulips, flip-flops….and weddings.

 If you are unattached and have a burning desire to be with someone and have the big wedding, the family and the whole shabang and you don’t have it yet, the month of June can make you want to:

A. give up going to to mailbox for fear of getting yet another dreaded “You are cordially invited to celebrate the wedding of X and Y” invite

B. change your name or

C. move to Morocco. (think Kate Hudson in Almost Famous)

 Luckily, I’ve got you covered this summer with 3 simple golden nuggets to keep things in perspective. (yes, I don’t care what the heck you think fickle NYC. in my head, it’s summer. get the memo!) ps: If you are already hitched or with someone, these 3 golden nuggets apply to any area of your life where you feel like someone has something you don’t have but want.

#1 Let yourself feel all your feelings….even the unpleasant ones.

So often we want to go straight to the “I’m SOOO happy for her! OMG, congratulations! It’s all good! I’m fine. Sending love and light. I forgive myself and then for XYZ, etc” but that’s bull shi&*, isn’t it? Because unless you process the feelings that are coming up right NOW in the moment, then they are bound to come up again, usually in a different setting. So….check in with what’s coming up inside of you and create a healthy time and space to sit with them without distracting yourself. Rage? Cool. Rage it out. Sadness? Cry it out. Numb? Don’t fight it. Notice it. But remember this: your feelings are information but  they never define you unless you let them. They will come and go, but they just want to be heard, like a two-year old. Once you pay attention to them, then they eventually don’t care and they move on. Patience, sister. Feel it.

 

#2 Identify the sensation you really want

Let’s say you really want to be in a relationship and your best friend just told you she’s engaged. You’ve done step 1 and raged or cried. Next step is to really sit with your now cleansed self and ask, “Okay what specifically about being in a relationship (or whatever situation it is that you don’t have yet)  do I crave?” Listen. This may not come right away. Maybe it’s partnership because you just feel lonely. Maybe it’s sex because dang it, you have needs and it’s been awhile. Maybe it’s social acceptance or attention because you feel like you have been unappreciated or unnoticed. Identify the sensation. Because that’s what you are REALLY after. Then ask, “What is one activity I could add into my life that would also give me that sensation?” Maybe you go buy a vibrator, or you enter a contest at the mall,  or you start volunteering at Big Brother/Big Sister to be in a partnership. (These are just examples).

 

#3  Remember this: It takes one to know one

The old saying is true. Be happy when you get a wedding invitation (after you’ve done steps 1 and 2 fully!) or a friend shares her success with you. Because birds of a feather flock together and it is evidence in the third-dimensional material world that what you really want is perhaps much closer than you may realize. The energy is already swimming around you so to speak. So celebrate the presence of love in your space! The more you can genuinely celebrate, look for and share the love that is already within you right now and in your environment, the more of a magnet you are for the Universe to send you some wonderful things. And yes, that includes a fabulous partnership. All in Divine timing. 

 

Now it’s YOUR turn:

How have you dealt with getting wedding invites in the past or seeing friends get what you really want but don’t have yet? Any words of wisdom for someone who may be feeling like hiding this June? Share it with us if you feel so inclined!

ps: Want to snag my free audio: “Why You’re Still Single and What to Do About It?” Get free updates + I’ll send it to you pronto. Pop in your email below!

 

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Ever feel afraid that you’ll be “off” Purpose if you fall in love? 4-step process to help you!

One of my clients shared a very interesting dilemma she was having. One of her heart’s desires in addition to finding a spiritual soulmate was to write her first book to help children make their way in the world. She had been really procrastinating on it and the convo basically went something like this:

The Convo:

Her: “Diana, I am so proud of myself! After our last session, I actually created a writing schedule for myself. And I’m actually sticking to it! I wrote for 2 hours yesterday and it felt so amazing!

Me: That’s awesome! So, what’s the problem?

Her: “Well, I really want to be a relationship right now, and every time I seem to meet someone, I fall for them fast and end up just not making time for writing at all. It’s like I just put all my focus on them. I just met someone I really like…and I’m terrified that I’m just going to stop writing again and that I’m not going to live my Purpose and then I’ll just hate myself. What should I do?”

Hmmmm…very interesting indeed.

  • Have you ever struggled with giving all your creative Life Force energy to someone you just met

  • Ever worried about not fulfilling your Life Purpose because of a new (or existing) relationship?

  • You’re going to love today’s post!

 

Below, I break down:

  • The real issue that was keeping this woman (and possibly you) stuck +how she got out of it

  • The immediate next step to take if you find yourself going down this train of thinking

  • A Soul power thought you can use to stay aligned with your Purpose AND love

 

Part 1: The Real Issue (What I shared with her)

A: Okay, what could be going on here is that there may be a part of you that believes that to truly have abundance and flow in one area of your life requires that another area has to sacrificed or compromised. In this case your commitment to your writing/Purpose. It’s about reframing it from an  energy of “I have to have either/or to I totally and completely will create both/and.”

Second, you say, “I just put all my focus on them..” and then what happens? The relationship eventually ends, right? (she nodded and I went on..) because let’s face it, no one wants to be the sole focus of your attention 24/7. It creates an imbalance and what you’re really after I’m guessing is someone who adores you and actually inspires you/you inspire, right? So then it just becomes a matter of balancing out the distribution of energy you’re giving and energy you’re receiving.

 

Part 2: The Discovery

She coughed a few times. A great sign that her throat chakra, which rules communication was opening!

We did some major energy work around this as this “either/or” energy had been with her since she was a childhood (and honestly probably before that too). She experienced a huge release and we put together a simple action plan that allowed her to create specific blocks of time for her writing, the language to use when she found herself getting invited to activities with this new person who conflicted with that block (having the language for it is huge!) and she even came up with her own mantra to tell herself when she started falling back into the old fear.

 


Part 3: Your 4-Step Action Plan!

1. Notice

Where are you engaging in either/or thinking or behavior in your life right now? What are two areas that are really wanting your attention? Scan the core areas of your life and write it down.

2. Breathe

When you go into scarcity thinking, stop and take a deep breath. With each inhalation, visualize yourself receiving more of what you want. And on every exhalation, visualize yourself giving out love to the world from your new abundant state. It will take you to a different head-space.

3. Soul mantra it:

Say aloud, “I can now have both. It is safe for me to have both. Creating both helps me and the people I care about.” (This activates your subconscious but it also makes it about how this new thought will positively impact your relationship to others and how they view you too!)

4. Schedule it

Look at your calendar or sheet of paper. Where will you now make time for the things that keep falling to the wayside that are important to you? For your Soul Purpose-activating activities. These don’t have to be broad-sweeping business plans. I’m talking small steps. Example: Maybe from 1-2pm on Mondays you will commit to researching experts in the field in which you want to be in. Or you will look at going through your closet and putting together an outfit that is date-worthy and represents who you really are now!

 

Q: What is ONE thing you are going to do this week to move into a place of balance between your relationships and your Purpose? Share your Step 4 if you feel moved!

ps:Diana Dorell Red Pic Want to stop your monkey-mind chatter that’s keeping you from making an important decision around a relationship or your business/career? Sign up for my Intuition 101: How to Master Decision-Making course that kicks off June 2!

Intro rate ends TONIGHT at 12midnight PST.

Go here to join us:

The secret behind mastering decision-making…a true story about how I ended up in NYC!

Diana Dorell Red PicI remember the day I sat down and told my sweetheart, “I am going to New York City for three to six months. I just want to experience it. I’ve been dreaming about living in that city since I was 5 and well, I just can’t wait any longer.”

My stomach was churning with butterflies and stress about how he was going to react to this declaration. He sat across the dining room and stared at me with his big Aquarian saucer eyes that are sometimes incredibly hard to read.And after what seemed like an eternity, he replied with a monumental, “Okay. Have you found a place to live already?”

His rational and grounded response floored me as I went on to inform him that I had actually gotten very clear on what I was looking for and lo and behold had found the perfect place at the price point and neighborhood I had written down for the exact time frame. I had even seen the place on Skype webcam (I felt very responsible and techie!) He gave a sigh of relief and incredulity at how fast I had pulled it all together and I think I sort of saw a smile creep in there too. I also showed him my ticket…I had purchased my airplane ticket (one-way) before I could let my nerves and any guilt about leaving stop me from my dream. We both hugged for a long time and he said, “I have no idea what is going to happen, but I know you have to do this or you’ll be very unpleasant to be around.(smart man) So, go and make sure you download this app called Hop Stop that tells you which train to take. You’re not the best with directions honey.” I started crying right there. He is an amazing person. To re-cap the 3 main lessons about taking risks and making a big decision from my story: take what works and leave the rest!

  • Know what you want (example: the list I made of the qualities I wanted in my NYC pad)
  • Take one action that aligns with what you want and doesn’t allow for a back-door/gets you out of your own way (example: buying the ticket before I had anything else in place)
  • Be clear with your intention and have faith that those who love you will still love you after you go for it (example: having the difficult but necessary heart-to-heart with my honey)

So, literally three weeks after that conversation, I arrived in the Big Apple, my life packed into 2 large suitcases, a small one, a backpack and my violin. I was more excited (and a little freaked out) than I’d ever been in my entire life. I often get asked, “Diana, how did you find the courage to take action on your dream? What made you leave your man and your peaceful life in Kansas City behind for a city that everyone says is impossibly hard to live in? How did you manifest a partner who is willing to let you follow your dream, how did you manage to snag an apartment in the heart of the city and the funds for the travel so quickly?” 

The answer is very simple and is the same I would give to all of those questions.

I have learned to master my intuition.

To feel it in the depths of my Be-ing, to follow it and to trust it without too many questions.

It’s a muscle that I have honed over the years that has allowed me to take incredible risks…and experience things that make me very happy and joyful. I’m still working it (I believe the learning never stops!) I’ve shared these principles with my private clients and they have used them to quadruple their quarterly business profits, leave an unsatisfying job to venture out into the world of entrepreneurship, manifested a new love starting with positive self-love and talk and much more.

And I want to help you trust YOUR intuition too.

And for the first time ever, I want to share the principles I’ve learned from some amazing mentors, teachers and the best school (hard core life experience) to help you master decision-making, to help you go from feeling like you aren’t sure which direction to take to having a roadmap and tools there to help you make your way out of the fog. At Spirit’s nudge, I’m putting my teacher hat back on and have created this intuitively-driven, Spirit inspired course just for you!

I’m calling it Intuition 101: Feel It, Trust it, Follow It: 5 weeks to master the art of decision-making and whether you are at that crossroads in your life where several directions pull at you and you aren’t sure what to do, or you are an entrepreneur wanting to get out of shiny-object syndrome and make some more money, know which of your big ideas to follow next or are simply a spiritual seeker looking for more peace of mind and self-trust around making decisions that impact your love life, family ties and even spiritual connection, I hope you’ll join me! 

Learn all about it right here and before I sign off, a question for you: “What is a big risk that you have taken in your life or a time to did something you didn’t think you could do? Share it with us in the comments below and I can’t wait to see some of you in class!” 

Love,

Diana

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