the secret to letting go (full moon week)

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Happy Full Moon week!

How are you feeling? 

Yesterday, I visited this cool ghost town in Arizona called Jerome with my honey and he wanted to check out the tasting room from the vineyard of Tool’s lead singer, Maynard. (All he had to say was wine and I was like…okay! Is there chocolate too??)

It’s a sleepy, creepy kinda town, with houses that look like they are going to fall off the cliff…skeletons hugging the sign of Haunted Hamburger joint and if you gaze up, you can see the Grand Hotel and Asylum cafe high on the hill, where you can take in the scenery of the mountains, the former mine and this quirky little place.

I felt like I went back in time and on the drive back, I reflected on what it must have been like to live there in its Gold mine heyday…and how it all came crashing down in the 1950’s and was basically left deserted when the mine dried up. Only to be reborn again when artists and hippies came to revive it a decade later.

It got me thinking a lot about this year-things that panned out for you.

Things that fell spectacularly apart.

Maybe even things that never even got off the ground but died in the idea phase.

Friendships that you outgrew. 

Relationships that deepened…or dead-ended.

The theme of this week is “illumination.”

Full Moons bring up insights, illuminating the things you’ve been avoiding, the things that are really important to you and all the emotions that accompany both of those awarenesses. 

And with the awareness, comes letting go.

But what I’ve found in coaching hundreds of people and in my own personal experience is that letting go starts with one thing: 

Acceptance.

Acceptance of what is. Acceptance of how you are feeling. Acceptance that something is being asked to deepen or die. 

Until we accept it, the letting go can’t happen.

It maybe can mentally but not a full-body let go.

And letting go is not a destination. 

It’s an on-going decision to stop fighting what IS. 

Like Jerome-it used to be this booming gold mine town…then it was deserted for a long time…then it was reborn and is now a booming little town rich with artists, wine, haunted hotels and tours and who knows what it will reinvent itself to be in the next century.

So during this Full Moon week, I encourage you to journal and look at the following:

1) What is being asked to deepen?

2) What is naturally falling away?

3) What do I need to accept about XYZ situation?

Sink in.

Get a cup of your favorite beverage.

Cozy up.

And I’ll see you on the other side.

your november goddess message!

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Happy November!

This is a month of lots of expansion and re-connection to what’s important to you.

A coming back to yourself if you will.

It’s time for your monthly Goddess guidance oracle message.

If you are new to my world, welcome!

Each month, I love pulling oracle cards for you and sharing important dates for the month to help you maximize the energies and boost your relationships!

I highly recommend pausing the video after each card goes up and encourage you to jot down your own intuitive insights!

ps: Do you tend to feel other people’s feelings deeply? You are probably an empath like me! Good news-I will be teaching a class later this month for Empaths: Best Practices to Stay Happy, Healthy and Whole. Want to get on the priority notification list when I open doors for this? Click here.

what to do when old ghosts come back

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You may have heard of the phrase, “Old skeletons in the closet” to describe old relationships that never really got resolved or released.

You may be experiencing people from the past coming back-old lovers, friends or family members you haven’t seen in awhile and you may even be getting a chance to visit old haunts and memories from your past.

As we approach the holiday season, nostalgia can kick in and it can feel confusing how to handle some of the old connections and feelings that may creep up. 

Here are 3 things to consider when you find yourself toe-to-toe with old ‘ghosts’: 
1. Ask yourself, “Who do I want to be right now?” 

This may seem simplistic, but when you have made the decision let’s say to be a healthy, fit individual and that well-meaning relative hands you a third dessert and regales you with tales of when you were a chubby 10-year old, you can politely decline. 

2. Just because someone reaches out to you, doesn’t mean you are obligated to respond or reply.

This one can be tough if you’re a recovering people pleaser-you may have been given the subconscious message growing up that when people want your attention, you have to be ‘nice’ and give it to them, even if that means sacrificing your own mental, emotional and physical health. 

So when that ex comes back in town wanting to “just catch up” and you know when you check in with yourself that it would put you back on the emotional merry-go-round, you can give yourself permission to ignore the message. 

3. Free and release the ghost

I’m dating myself but I always think back to that Sex and the City episode where Carrie goes to Aidan (her ex’s) new bar hoping to reconnect with him, only to be snubbed. If you do run into someone from your past, and it does cause some emotional turmoil or confusing feelings, it’s perfectly okay to give yourself space to be alone, cry it out, scream it out, (I love to journal stream of consciousness during those times) and then release it. Burn the paper, honor that connection by naming all the things you loved about them and then following it up with all the things you are absolutely done with. Go for a walk. Make a meal for yourself. Release the ghost. 

The more you can check in with yourself and observe these 3 tips, the less likely you will be to be triggered when old ghosts pop up…and they will!

Q: Which tip spoke to you? Why? Share with us in the comments and if you’re not already a part of the Goddess community, click here to grab your free gift: 7 Goddess Secrets to Up Your Confidence Now! Totally free. 

f—k being reasonable

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Do you tend to be the friend that everyone goes to for advice?

If you said yes, I’m guessing that people love to tell you a lot about their lives.

And often there is a pattern to what they share.

For me, I’ve noticed that regardless of who it is-a good friend, a person I met at Trader Joes check out, or some random Goddess I met at a conference, the themes circle around the following:

  • I am a workaholic and I feel like my life is a never ending To-Do list and no one appreciates me
  • I have no social life and no love life…I know something has to change
  • I’m tired of feeling isolated and alone but I don’t know what to do

Then I ask the bold question: “So, what are you going to change so you can you start loving yourself more? What do you do to take care of your Spirit?”

I sometimes get weird stares and a laundry list of rational excuses, mostly about how they need to focus on their career/business. Or their responsibilities. Or re-organizing the closet. 

I’m in the middle of a decluttering challenge, so while it sounds totally valid…I have to sigh. 

I’ve been there. So many times. I get it.

It’s scary to change.

It’s scary to trust.

It’s scary to not be in control all the damn time and trust that thing are going to work out

But here’s the deal:

We say we want to take time out of our busy lives, love ourselves and come back into balance but what we are really are saying is…I’ll get to that later…

as soon as I get the business or career stuff handled

as soon as I have more free time

as soon as the kids go to college

as soon as I have more money

as soon as as soon as as soon as…

Only “as soon as” never comes, does it?

Self-care and prioritizing our Soul go to the bottom of the to-list…. if it’s even on the list at all.

Pleasure and taking a new direction towards something fun seems frivolous, unnecessary, unreasonable. 

The idea of putting our needs and emotions above others’ we love seems selfish.

But, consider this.

Your dream life is rarely birthed when you are being ‘reasonable.’

Otherwise, you would have it already, wouldn’t you?

The Universe knows you are EXTRA-ordinary. 

It’s just waiting for you to get the memo so it can start helping you get what you want. 

But normally we’re too in our heads to actually listen or do anything about it.
The Universe doesn’t respond to you when you’re being ‘reasonable’ when your Soul is crying out for more. 

It responds to your request when you are relaxed, in a space of receiving and joy. Not stress. Or worry.

When you take time out for pleasure and Soul nourishing time, you become a magnet for the things you want.

  • My client slashed her work hours in half and started walking again and taking time to be with her Spirit. The result? Her quarterly income increased over 34%.
  • Another client treated herself to a massage and a movie in the middle of her work week. Just because she felt like it! The result? Creative inspiration, and sign-ups for her upcoming event

and another

  • Another client moved to a gym closer to her home and enrolled in regular yoga classes per her intuition and body requests. The result? Regular daily compliments from men (and women!) and one that calls and texts her often to ask her out and see how she’s feeling. 

Coincidence?

I think not.

This week’s Self-Love Soul Challenge:

What’s one “unreasonable” thing you can do for your Soul this week? Something that fills you with a feeling of “OMG I can’t do THAT! But wouldn’t that be neat….”

I give you permission to go for it Goddess.

Fuck reasonable.

And if you don’t like it after a week,  you can always go back to the way things were before.

No questions asked.

Your call.

It’s time to put yourself first.

PS: Are you ready to rip off the Band-Aid and step into a brand-new you, let’s talk so I can learn more about you and how I can help.  Schedule a 15 min complimentary consult call here. 

are they ready or are you wasting your time?

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Today’s Q+A is about marriage/commitment.

Q: I’ve been burned a lot in the past by men who couldn’t commit. I feel cautious dating again and am wondering, are there signs I should look for that the person I’m seeing is open for marriage?

A: Oooo, I love this question. It can feel really scary to put yourself out there only to discover that the person you’re interested in isn’t on the same page-in this case, around commitment.

There are 3 common dating behaviors I see in my private practice. 

One of them is a sign you can tell before you are monogomous.

The other two are for when you’ve been with the person awhile and want to know if you’re on track for the M-word 🙂

Check out the full answer below in this video:

Q: Have another sign you’d like to add? Share in a comment below!

ps: Would you like more specific support around your relationship or dating life?
Book a complimentary consultation to learn more about private coaching. No investment required and no obligation to purchase services. This is simply the first step in the process and my intent is that you leave the call with clarity if private coaching is the right next step for you and also what could be blocking you from creating the type of relationship you really want.