what to do when old ghosts come back

You may have heard of the phrase, “Old skeletons in the closet” to describe old relationships that never really got resolved or released.

You may be experiencing people from the past coming back-old lovers, friends or family members you haven’t seen in awhile and you may even be getting a chance to visit old haunts and memories from your past.

As we approach the holiday season, nostalgia can kick in and it can feel confusing how to handle some of the old connections and feelings that may creep up. 

Here are 3 things to consider when you find yourself toe-to-toe with old ‘ghosts’: 
1. Ask yourself, “Who do I want to be right now?” 

This may seem simplistic, but when you have made the decision let’s say to be a healthy, fit individual and that well-meaning relative hands you a third dessert and regales you with tales of when you were a chubby 10-year old, you can politely decline. 

2. Just because someone reaches out to you, doesn’t mean you are obligated to respond or reply.

This one can be tough if you’re a recovering people pleaser-you may have been given the subconscious message growing up that when people want your attention, you have to be ‘nice’ and give it to them, even if that means sacrificing your own mental, emotional and physical health. 

So when that ex comes back in town wanting to “just catch up” and you know when you check in with yourself that it would put you back on the emotional merry-go-round, you can give yourself permission to ignore the message. 

3. Free and release the ghost

I’m dating myself but I always think back to that Sex and the City episode where Carrie goes to Aidan (her ex’s) new bar hoping to reconnect with him, only to be snubbed. If you do run into someone from your past, and it does cause some emotional turmoil or confusing feelings, it’s perfectly okay to give yourself space to be alone, cry it out, scream it out, (I love to journal stream of consciousness during those times) and then release it. Burn the paper, honor that connection by naming all the things you loved about them and then following it up with all the things you are absolutely done with. Go for a walk. Make a meal for yourself. Release the ghost. 

The more you can check in with yourself and observe these 3 tips, the less likely you will be to be triggered when old ghosts pop up…and they will!

Q: Which tip spoke to you? Why? Share with us in the comments and if you’re not already a part of the Goddess community, click here to grab your free gift: 7 Goddess Secrets to Up Your Confidence Now! Totally free. 

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