the biggest roadblock to love (or anything you’re trying to manifest but aren’t!)

The biggest roadblock to love is….<drumroll>…. linear thinking.

Erroneously believing that just because something didn’t work for you in the past, it means that it will never work for you.

Or conversely, because something you tried did work, believing that it’s always going to work if you do it that same exact way.

I hear things from my girlfriends and clients’ mouths like:

“I just don’t do blind dates! I went on one in college and it was the most boring experience of my life.”

“I am done putting myself out there. If this (current relationship) isn’t The One, I’m just done…I guess I’m supposed to be single forever.”

And my personal favorite…

“I just hate online dating…it’s so superficial and I’m just not into it.”

Usually when I probe a little deeper, there’s a story there-sometime a man hurt them…or they got close and it just didn’t quite pan out the way they thought it would….or they tried online dating, got crickets for responses and got fed up…

But here’s the thing.

When you declare to the Uni-verse that you just “don’t do XYZ”, you’ve already cut off a possibility.

It’s a weird form of trying to control your environment and the outcome.

Usually because the fear of being rejected, used, abused, left, etc is driving your decision-making.

I felt the same way about dating online.

I felt like it was so incredibly superficial.

And maybe there’s some truth to that putting your best pictures up and neat paragraph description of who you are on display, but I still put myself out there as a symbol of my intent.

I was going to go all in and if “he” didn’t show up, I chose to stop assuming that it was the medium (being online or being on a blind date) but instead chose to see it as an experiment where Divine timing, my level of commitment to what I said I wanted…and synchronicity were also important factors.

In short, it’s about going all in, following the signs as you receive them…and lovingly nudging your fear and doubt voices to calm down. Your worthiness and value is not dependent on the outcome of the experiment.

The experiment is simply that….an experience where you can see what shows up and most importantly the energy in which you are choosing to show up for yourself.

And looking purely at the results, two of my most profound, Soul-shaping relationships came from meeting them online.

My aunt, who had just gotten divorced and had never done the online thing let me help her with her profile, despite hemming and hawing about not being technology-saavy or into the whole thing.

She’s been happily hooked up with the same loving partner for almost 4 years now that she met.

But if she hadn’t considered that what she was fighting against could actually be an avenue to support her in meeting her match, she may have been spending her nights at home with the TV hoping he would just appear.

You just never know.

This week’s Soul question (deep!) Where could you be setting up a roadblock for yourself? Helpful hint: If you aren’t sure, look at places where you have felt resistant or emotional or extra opinionated around. Would you be willing to try that “thing” again with an experimental energy vs a reactionary one? What could be possible for you?

Ps: Are you signed up for my FREE training, 3 Online Dating Secrets to Stop Wasting Your Time…and Get The Guy?

3 Online Dating Secrets to Stop Wasting Your Time...and Get The Guy-

krishna + a magical story about stepping into your ‘queen’ self

So as you may remember, not so long ago, I finally listened to my back’s signs and bought a new mattress.

What I didn’t share in that post was that I got myself a full size even though I really wanted a queen size.

I’ve had a full size for as long as I can remember but something kept saying, “Diana you are totally ready for a queen. Why are you holding back?”

Part 1: Being Comfortable

I ignored my intuitive hunches.

Why?

I’m not quite sure. A full was…fine. It was… comfortable. I was used to it. I also just didn’t feel like getting a new box spring or deal with putting together a new frame, blah, blah, blah. Excuses.

You: This is how it can be with love.

We get so used to what is comfortable, even though it has stopped serving our Path anymore.

We stay far too long in a relationship (or invest in being single even though we want to be with a partner) because we’re afraid.

Afraid of the changes we’d have to make, or that we perceive we’d have to give up in order to have what we truly desire.

Part 2: Being Aware of Mirrors

But the funny thing was that once the full arrived, it literally was too big for the frame and box spring I had! It spilled out on the sides and was too long! Almost like I’d bought a queen, but not quite. I called it an “Almost Queen.”

And I laughed out loud, because I had just had a conversation with a girlfriend about how it’s time for us to step into our fullest Queen Self to empower even more women…but that I still felt like I wasn’t quite ready. I had long left my “Princess-damsel-in-distress-come-rescue-me” self behind but Queen? I still felt a teeny bit out of my league.

And my bed reflected that! It was too big for what I had, too small to be in a queen!

You: Reflecting on yourself, perhaps in one of your relationships you may be in the same place. Clear on where you want to go, but not quite feeling worthy/ready/sure you’re ready to be the woman you need to be to have it.

Pay attention to the mirrors in your life. Where is your environment reflecting your current self-image? What does it say? Is it what you want?

Simply notice. Be aware.

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Part 3: Being the Queen…and accepting more than you bargained for

Like you may feel with your own relationships, I didn’t plunge head first into anything after I became aware of the mirrors the bed choice was reflecting back to me.

Sometimes nothing really happens until what we tolerate becomes intolerable (or we get so annoyed by the insistent nudge of our desires that something has to change/leave/come in).

Just the other day, I was literally moved with every fiber of my being to contact customer service about exchanging the mattress.

I bought it on Amazon, so it wasn’t as easy as just having them change it out at the store and I had thrown out the box…so I wasn’t sure how it all worked.

But I was so clear that I wanted a queen, even if there were changes and charges involved. It was fully aligned with my desire and had been for quite some time.

And yet, I was strangely detached from the whole thing, choosing to just simply ask questions and show up to see what they said.

Long story short, I spoke to a woman named Rachel and a man who called himself (get this) Krishna! As in the Hindu supreme God of love! I laughed so hard at the irony.

Between the two, Divine embodiment of the feminine/masculine if I ever saw it, a miracle happened.

They immediately issued me a credit for the full amount of the full size so I could get the queen size…and told me to please keep the full size! No need to ship it back or return before getting a refund.

I thought I read the screen wrong. Nope. They were serious. I was getting not only the exact mattress I wanted…but also getting to keep the super comfortable, practically brand-new one as well for my guest room!

Now, I’m sure that to some people, you could rationalize it logically, saying, “Well, they figured it wasn’t worth their trouble to try to take back a mattress out the box, etc..” but…

To me, it was a symbol of the spirit of ABUNDANCE and the magic that comes when we step fully into our desires.

I learned that a big part of manifesting miracles is that you really do have to be prepared to put yourself ALL IN.

No room for wiggling, half-assing or bargaining with your desires.

No back doors.

All in. Then the Universe storms the gates and bends over backwards to help you out.

I was prepared to pay for both shipping and a new mattress in order to get what I really wanted.

But it turns out, I didn’t have to do that.

But I was 100% willing.

Your turn: Where in your life have you been tip toeing, dipping your toe in towards what you want, but really keeping one foot firmly planted in your single life or your current circumstances?

How would it feel to be all in?

How would it feel to be your own version of the Queen?

What would you stop tolerating and what is one action you could take that would be your Queen/King self leading?

Feeling brave? Leave a comment and share!

Ready to take your life to the next level?13095981_10153561000777361_7937059797998734609_n.jpg

I am an intuitive relationship coach and master energy healer whose mission is to help you trust and love yourself more than you ever have before…so you can attract that soulmate, land that great speaking gig or simply just stop second-guessing yourself when it comes to decision-making!

Click here to take me for a test-drive and book a complimentary 15-minute call where we can chat about your goals, I will help you get clarity on what could be holding you back and we can see if we are a good fit to work together to help you get there!

how to love your body and up your manifesting mojo

I’m so so excited to introduce you to one of my favorite women on the planet.

But before you meet her, let me ask you a few questions.

Do you love your body?

Do you love the way you feel in your body right now?

Do you feel alive and excited about your life in this moment?

If you answered no to any of the above, know that it’s okay.

During the summer especially, I have noticed that it is especially important for me to speak kindly to my body and keep those “you’re fat” thoughts at bay.

The way we feel in our own skin either draws or repels people from you.

Especially if that person is someone you’d love to date on the regular.

It has nothing to do with your actual size and everything to do with the energy you carry in your body temple.

As a recovered formerly anorexic ballet dancer, I know the shame story very well. If you haven’t ever read my story, click here.

And I also know the other side of acceptance, deep self love and compassion.

Today I’d love to introduce you to Tanuja Paruchuri, a past client of mine and also a brilliant business owner and women’s health and empowerment coach.

She has a fascinating story we can all relate to on some level, so block out 25 minutes, grab a yummy cup of tea or refreshing beverage and join us for a virtual “cafe” chat.

Photo credit: www.divyapande.com | © divya pande 2014

Here are some of the things we cover in the interview:TanujaP.jpg

  • Going from size 10 to size 0 and and her journey to coming back into balance
  • Feeling disconnected and depressed to turning her life (and relationship to food) around
  • Her secret behind what it takes to manifest a sustainable self-care practice and thriving business (it does not involve hours and hours of sitting still meditation!)
  • Her indulgent recommendations that are healthy and actually taste yummy that are gluten-free, grain-free, non GMO etc. (think chocolate chip cookies, muffins, cupcakes..)
  • Inspirational words on finding your purpose, trusting yourself and loving yourself

And more!

One of my favorite quotes from her: “When you have a spark, or an idea…it’s important to listen to those little whispers that come up, because it could lead to your Purpose, even if it’s just your Purpose for right now. It will lead you to your happiness.”

——->Click here to listen to my interview with Tanuja Paruchuri, founder of Love Bites. ←—–

Want to learn more and connect with Tanuja?

Click here to connect with Tanuja and receive free gifts from her!

a surefire sign you’re on the brink of a breakthrough (most people misinterpret this!)

image via breakthroughrealestateaz.com

image via breakthroughrealestateaz.com

Last week, I shared an exercise from my private coaching files to help you clarify what is important to you in a partnership so that you don’t lose the gems that your exes left behind.

Missed it? Check it out here.

Today I want to chat about one of the most crucial steps that shows up in the manifestation process that most people avoid dealing with…or worse, they mistake for a sign that they are on the wrong path and end up exactly where they were before-comfortable but stagnant and bored/frustrated/etc. Specifically in relationships.

On more than one occasion I have tripped myself up on it and it wasn’t until I learned that it was simply a surefire sign that I was right on the edge of pulling in some major awesome-ness that I stopped giving it so much power and started to actually enjoy it!

I’ll give you a hint. It starts with an R.

The big R is resistance.

What do I mean by this?

It’s an almost knee-jerk response or series of thoughts that arise usually when you are:

  1. About to do something that you’ve never done before that you know is going to help you but….you’ve never done it before. (fear of the new without guarantees)
  2. Stretching out of your comfort zone in one or more ways (emotionally, financially, etc)
  3. Triggered by a past memory that is associated with the new thing presented to you. (fear of feeling bad again)

Your subconscious is designed to keep you safe. It likes guarantees. Given the choice between a lukewarm familiar choice and an innovative, different choice, it will do everything in its power to convince your logical mind that the familiar choice is better. Even if you are not seeing the results that you want to see. So crazy right?

Anything that is outside the default setting is going to bring up a “warning! Red alert!” vibe in it because it perceives danger. And so we think we are on the wrong path, but that’s not true!

In relationships, this is usually the step right before some major self-sabotaging happens.

Example:

You have been declaring that this is the year you will meet your soulmate and get married. You meet someone for a first date. Let’s call him Mr. Man. All is going well. You enjoy the conversation, you feel the chemistry running through you, you enjoy spending time with them and you even agree to see them again. You go on two more great dates where you feel treated like a Goddess. You feel so happy and sexy. You wonder when he’s going to call again and he does! (faster than you expected). And then on the next date, he asks you if you want to take it to the next level and stop seeing other people. He says he really likes you and wants to have the opportunity to really get to know each other and see if this has any future potential.

Thud. All of a sudden, the energy shifts.  You start judging the person in front of you. They are too tall. They are just not smart enough. What if the sex is terrible? Are they crazy? Why are they going so fast? There must be something wrong with them. Why are they being so nice and calling or texting too much/not enough?

All signs of internal resistance to letting yourself be happy and explore the potential.

You may even have a physical response to the experience. Temperature changes, mood changes, anger, etc.

And your logical mind will tell you that you’re right.

That this person is indeed crazy. He’s not for you. It’s too much. Who does he think he is anyway? Why is he being so direct? There’s got to be a catch. Done. You’re done…..

And poor Mr. Man just asked you a question. But that question just brought up all your shit.

Of all the ways you maybe don’t feel ready to let him see the real you.

Where you feel unlovable or undeserving.

Or just plain scared of losing your freedom as you know it now and actually getting what you want.

This is the point where resistance can be seen for what it is (your natural internal triggers of the unfamiliar rubbing up against your past or your future) and dealt with…or you can go onto sabotaging which is what most people do if you are unconscious about what’s happening.

So you text your ex even though you swore to your friend you’d delete his number.

You may even go as far as seeing him,

Mr. Man calls and texts to see if you’re okay and you blow him off or block his number.

And you go back on Match.com to see what other hotties winked at you.

Sabotage begins.

And at the end of the resistance that turned into sabotage, your subconscious decided Mr. Man’s fate before he even got a fair shot at truly getting to know you.

You’re back to square one and it feels like shit. You wonder if there are just no good men out there and your confidence drops.

It’s a very familiar loop. But the good news is, you can change it.

Step Out of Resistance Land

You are that powerful.

It all starts by noticing your energy shift.

And the next step is just saying, “I feel some resistance right now.”

 Breathe and be with it not against it.

Just the simple but powerful act of calling your resistance out can be the catalyst to put your subconscious mind on pause. Then you can actually see what it’s trying to tell you before you go on autopilot and move into sabotage land.

Expanding on the Mr. Man example above…

If you had used the steps I just mentioned, what may have happened was that you gave yourself space to see that some of the subconscious fears and thoughts that got triggered by his question were: (hypothetically)

*I don’t like my body right now. What if we have sex and he laughs at me?
Truth: I want to feel good in my body. Start dance class again on Monday.

*I feel like I need to get my shit together because he seems to and who wants to be with someone who doesn’t?
Truth: I want to get my finances together. Call credit card company and negotiate a lower rate.

*I really like this guy but I’m not ready to stop dating other people just yet.
Truth: I have to tell him how I feel and risk that he may not want to see me again.

Then perhaps you could have had a dialogue with Mr. Man that went something like this:

“I really love that you asked me that but I feel a little hesitant to be exclusive just yet, although eventually that’s what I want too. It’s bringing up some of my fears and I really like you. Could we continue to see each other and then revisit this in a few weeks?”

Now, granted, that does take a willingness to be vulnerable, but if true love is really what you want, and if Mr. Man is a real contender, he won’t be turned off by this. He’ll honor your pace and then whatever is supposed to unfold between you can, without the filter of knee-jerk resistance coming up to block your connection!

10363775_10202795961518938_2428182819912217634_nQ: Have you ever felt resistance come up in your relationships? How did you deal with it? What was the outcome?

Share with us in the comments below and want more free training to help you love yourself and let go of your love blocks?

Click here

this small shift can change your life…i’ve done the leg work for you!

Happy Tuesday!

How was your weekend? Did you do anything fun?

Quick update: I just got back home to the desert from New York City. Had a blast meeting with old friends and also clients who I’ve worked with on the phone but never met in person! Fun pic from my recent “Wealthy Goddess” event below with Lorena Morales! Also just kicked off my free 3-week video training series called “Live Like a Goddess!” Want to join me and learn how to receive? It’s not too late! Hop in here.

Can I share something really weird about myself with you that is the intro to today’s inspirational post?

Here it is.

I loooove…. pennies. 

In particular, finding pennies on the floor. I prefer the super new shiny ones, but the rusty, not-sure-i-could-give-this-to-a-cashier-it’s-so-covered-in-crap ones are cool too.

I get ridiculously excited and I sometimes squeal with delight when they make an appearance.

To me they are evidence that we are supported by the Universe.

They are a symbol of the energy of abundance, which to me certainly includes financial moo-lah but also love and our capacity to receive all the delights and desires of our Soul.

Since I got off the plane for my NY trip, I found a penny everyday, if not more than once a day.

Sometimes the Universe even threw in dimes!

Each time, even in a crowded subway or intersection, I would respond in the same way.

Delighted! Smiley! Filled with joy and with a big goofy smile on my face that I’m sure scared people (or disgusted them…or didn’t faze them..it’s NY after all).

What does this have to do with you?IMG_3350.JPG

If you aren’t experiencing what you want in your relationship space, or in another area of life, consider that you may have put your focus on the wrong thing.

Example: When I kept finding those pennies and dimes, I was usually just in the present moment. Trying to find the right train to take so I wouldn’t get lost…again! Or looking for a sign or a friend who was meeting up with me. But in the back of my mind, I expected to find more pennies and dimes AND…I learned to stop trying to control when or how that would happen.

To test this theory out, for about ten minutes when I had alone time, I focused totally on pennies and dimes. I just knew I was going to find them. And I looked hard. Every sidewalk, my eyes scoured left and right, determined. I started to feel really tense and my breathing got shallow. I almost ran into a kid in a stroller I was so focused. And as you can probably guess, the result was no pennies or dimes. Just a whole lotta stress, wasted mental energy and a bruised toe!

I had a good laugh and then focused on the beautiful church that happened to be on my right. It was so beautiful and I sent a pic to my boyfriend.

And one minute later, there it was. Penny number two of the day.

So, in short here are this week’s action steps:

  1. Notice-are you operating from a space of knowing that you will have that hot relationship, etc but allowing your mind to come back to a space of ease, joy and the present moment? Or are you focusing so hard that you are creating negative things like stress, anxiety or worry? A simple awareness shift is all it takes to bring you back.
  2. One of my favorite mantras? “What I truly desires also desires me. It’s safe to let go.” Have a go with it. Say it aloud when you find yourself gripping  or write it out a bunch of times and notice how it feels!”

May you find many many “pennies,” and have a beautiful week!

Love and Blessings,

Diana

 ps: Want to learn how we can work together to help you make some powerful shifts in your love life and self-confidence? Hit reply and say YES and we can set up a time to chat on the phone for 15 minutes to see what option would be best for you!IMG_3336.JPG