Are you in a transactional relationship? find out below!

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“No, I’ve got it. You got it last time!”

“No, that’s so sweet of you, but really it’s YOU that is amazing!”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”

Have you ever had someone share the above scenarios with you or have YOU said them?

While the energy of giving is beautiful and healthy, when it’s coming from a place of “I need to give this because you gave that” that is a sign that you could be in a Transactional Relationship.

Over time, this can erode your manifestation potential because it’s based on an underlying fear that if you don’t give, something could be lost or you could lose power.

The key is balance!

In this video (4:19 min) you will learn:
What a transactional relationship is and the potential long-term effects
The real reason why it’s hard to receive
A simple question you can ask to catch yourself in the act of engaging in a transactional relationship
3-steps to take if you are in a transactional relationship and how to stop the pattern!

ps: After you watch, I’d LOVE to hear from you in the comments section below the video!

Your Turn:
Q: Have YOU ever been in a transactional relationship? Which end were you on and how did it feel? What helped you break the cycle? What did you learn about yourself?

Post a comment to any of the questions above! Let’s keep the energy moving!

pps: Did you enjoy this video?
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Go here:
www.DianaDorell.com

When being productive isn’t the answer…3 things you can do instead!

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Note from Diana: Let’s face it. When you are thinking about heading back into the dating game, it’s easy to want to approach it as you would your business-ruthless, focused and driven towards an intended outcome. If you’re in my community, chances are high that you are awesome at getting things done and making things happen, but in love, that can actually work against you. And when I sat down to chat with fellow Goddess from Creative Money, certified financial planner, Mindy Crary, we discovered something quite spooky-the blocks our clients were experiencing around money/their finances were almost identical to the blocks they were experiencing in their relationships.

So, of course, I wanted her to share her story with you about being a recovering workaholic and her secret to success (and it does NOT include being PRODUCTIVE)! You can apply the principles she shares below in your love life, health and yes, money space! And if you like what you read, be sure to sign up for Mindy and I’s FREE class coming up next week:  3 Love and Money Myths of the Alpha Female”

 

By Mindy Crary, from Creative Money

Are you a Type-A personality? As a recovering workaholic, it would be easy for me to work 60 hours a week to try and make things happen, but what I found is, the less productive I am, the better results I get, especially with the quality of my relationships!

mindycrary
Doing Nothing Is Hard
I stumbled on this realization during an especially challenging time in my life; I had just left traditional financial services and was starting my own business from scratch. I thought that I would have my business sale proceeds to live on during the transition, but the buyer was being difficult (and I ended up hiring an attorney to deal with him).So there I was, in a new city, trying to scratch out an income and find new clients. I was freaking out, because with some of my health issues, working 60 hours per week was no longer an option for me. And at some point, you know that you’ve done everything you need to do, and you’re just spinning your wheels.Finally–more out of defeat than optimism—I said, “Screw it, I am going to go enjoy the afternoon with my friends, I am sick of sitting in front of this computer and networking!”

 

Something From Nothing
I went out and relaxed for the first time in weeks. I never even gave the business a thought for over 6 hours, because I was having so much fun with my friends. Then I came home, and I had three messages from prospects wanting to work with me! I didn’t know about Law of Attraction yet, and I was just starting to understand my own energy. But I thought, “Wow, if THIS is what happens when I go have some fun, I need to have more fun!!” And since I made that connection, acquiring clients has never been an issue for me. If I feel myself starting to worry about business, I take the afternoon off and enjoy myself. And it never fails—when I come back and check my email, there are new prospects waiting for me.
Relaxing Into Productivity

I think the hardest thing for a Type A personality is to do nothing, and believe that what they want can happen without their intervention. But I find that even in other areas of my life, doing nothing gets me better results:
• Instead of chasing the guy I think I want, I signal my receptivity more passively and let men come to me (and allow our compatibility to unfold)
• Instead of driving my business agenda forward relentlessly, I defer decisions until it the right one is clear
• Instead of pushing for a friendship with someone I admire, I accept that everything happens in its own time (and enjoy those people offering friendship to me)
• Instead working out no matter what, I assess my energy and only do as much as will energize me on that day
• Instead of demanding what I need from others, I receive what is given freely, and know that there are countless other ways to get all of my needs met
It’s impossible to be productive and get results if you’re resistant to the way things are. By changing the scenery, relaxing and breaking out of whatever dynamic you’re caught up in, you’ll also release your resistance.
What To Do Instead
When you’re feeling stuck, unproductive and annoyed with the current situation, consider doing one of these three things instead:
Get outside. Nothing makes me happier than grabbing coffee and sitting in the dog park—even though I don’t have a dog! I can lose myself for hours watching their antics and enjoyment.
Exercise. Sometimes cardio make me feel aggressive, but it’s impossible to hold onto a freak-out with yoga. Or (if I don’t think of it as heart-pumping, “productive” exercise), walking through a beautiful park can be soothing.
Connect. Go see your friends—the real, living breathing version, not on social media! I try to connect in “real life” with someone every day, and even though I am an introvert, the contact energizes me.
Once I realized that stepping away from my business actually made it more successful, I made that a priority. I’m not goofing off; I am allowing things to develop without me!
Actions This Week: YOUR TURN!
• This week, let go of one situation that is frustrating you…step away and resolve to “let it be” for several hours, a day or a week. And go do something fun that makes you forget about it!

• In the comments, post your thoughts to this question: “What is one specific area of your life where you are ready to release the urge to be more productive? Why?”
Tell us! Declare your intention to receive solutions and resolutions without working so hard.
Want More?
1. Join Mindy and me for our free class, “3 Love and Money Myths of the Alpha Female” coming up September 9th! Click here to learn more!

2. To learn more about Mindy and get her free gift, “Getting Started With Conscious Spending” go here!

Are you in a spirit waiting room? 3 things you can do!

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Are you in a spirit “waiting room?”

You know you’re in a spirit waiting room when:

    • you feel like you are in-between exiting your old life and entering a new, unknown one

    • you feel pressured to make a decision about your new life but every time you try, your energy gets scattered

  • You have a deep desire to just escape your current situation or you crave lots and lots of quiet time (even if you’re very outgoing and social normally!)

I call it the “Waiting Room” because it really can feel like being in a doctor’s office. You aren’t usually alone in the waiting room, but you feel like you are. There are those well-worn, boring magazines that are usually not what you want to read, but it makes the time go faster and you can avoid making lots of conversation or eye contact with the other people there. You may have to fill out forms to share what is going on with you, but you can’t seem to find the right words (or you may even feel compelled to write, “I don’t know!”) and you may not know why it’s happening or what the diagnosis is going to be. It can be unnerving and uncomfortable.

But it’s a necessary part of the process of getting to the other side of the counter.

 And when it comes to your emotions and your relationships, the waiting room is a time-out AND cause for celebration.. See, if you’re in the “spirit waiting room,” it’s your Soul’s wake-up call that something is getting re-arranged inside of you. Shifted. There may need to be more space for what you say you REALLY want and that entails letting go of what is no longer YOU.

It’s not easily described in words and the answers are never black or white. In fact, during this waiting room period, you may find yourself writing down more questions than insights. And that’s perfect!

 

The good news is that the Waiting Room is TEMPORARY.

Discomfort is TEMPORARY.

But so often, we want to just skip the waiting room, hop over the counter and just ask for the prescription!

I want to know NOW NOW NOW! Just tell me what’s going to happen so I don’t waste my time with…dating X person, entering into X job, or stressing out about when X is going to happen so I can finally be happy.

Sorry. Your Soul is wiser than that and it just doesn’t work that way!

 Yes, we are here to get clarity. Insights? Absolutely. But above all, we are here to EXPERIENCE and GROW.

 

And if you’re constantly “popping pills” aka trying to take detours to avoid the Waiting Room, you’re just going to wind up attracting in the SAME lesson with different people, jobs or situations in the future.

 

Popping Pills Can Look Like:

 

    • Taking yet ANOTHER class/workshop/certification so you don’t actually have to ever go out there and live your dream

    • Staying in a stagnant relationship OR avoiding long-term relationships altogether because you’re afraid of what could happen if you allowed yourself to really be vulnerable

  • Filling up your calendar with busy work, housework or social events so you don’t have to face what’s really going on with your finances

 

Now, I just made up the 3 situations above, but let’s face it. Those are the big ones: Life Purpose, Love and Money. And they all circle back to your relationship with YOURSELF and what you really really want. Peace of mind. Joy. Confidence and trust in YOU.

 

So, what CAN you do in the waiting room to avoid losing your mind? (actually that would be good, because then you’d finally hear your intuition!) Just kidding.

 

<S.A.D>  3 AWESOME Things You Can Do In the Waiting Room 

1.  SURRENDER

Give up trying to have the whole picture of your new life. Michelangelo said that when we sculpted David, he was freeing the statue from the stone. He didn’t know every single curve ahead of time. He surrendered to the energy of his hands and his intuition. Let go of having to know the end. Focus on the here and now.

2. ANCHOR INTO YOUR BODY

It sounds basic, but are you feeding yourself nutritious food or are you escaping into comfort food? Are you taking time to move your body or staying in one place all day? Even 10 minutes can make a world of difference! You’ll also be able to tune into the subtle frequencies of your intuition when you’re not being still, lost in negative, fearful thoughts

3. DAYDREAM DAILY

It sounds hokey and simplistic, but this really works. One time when I was in the Spirit waiting room freaking out about a guy I was dating and what I should do, I literally allowed myself to space out in a park everyday. I just sat there. Every other day. And stared up at the sky. Or the trees. Very Ferdinand the Bull.  Sometimes nothing magical happened, but I felt more connected to myself. But one day, I came back home and had to write down a 4-page download I received for a new program I wanted to launch that I could never have seen if I had been “thinking” it into existence. And soon after, the relationship in question was no longer a question and I had a great heart-to-heart.

YOUR WEEKLY ACTION STEP!

Post your insights to any of the following in the comments section!

 

  • “Have YOU ever felt like you were in a Spirit Waiting Room?”

 

  • What is one thing that helped you while you were there?”

 

  • Which of the 3 S.A.D steps will you implement this week?

  For more, consider booking a private reading here or exploring 1:1 Coaching with Diana.

 

Ready to ROCK your love life and TRUST your intuition? 2 events you won’t want to miss below!

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Today’s insight is a bit different than my usual ones. You see, tomorrow (August 21) is my birthday (wohooo!) and I’d love to invite you to two virtual parties that I’m hosting this month! (one of them is on my actual birthday TOMORROW) Will you come?

See, I don’t know about you, but for me, birthdays are a time of reflection and celebration. I used to get all wrapped up in how much I hadn’t done by X year and get all down on myself, which led to me isolating myself and doing nothing. Well, this was just well, not very fun. So, now I see them as an opportunity to step up my game. To shine as bright as I can even if it’s scary. And to expand and share my message at full wattage, full authenticity, even if it doesn’t vibe with some people or it ruffles a few feathers in the process.

So, that’s why I’ve created these two events for you! I believe you are beautiful, worthy of love and have all the answers you need inside of you. But to really attract the brass ring of success, however you define that, the #1 thing that can help you get there is to TRUST YOUR INTUITION.

Both events below are intended to help you trust your intuition so you can create not just okay relationships in your life, but exceptional ones. And they are free, but like any exclusive, fabulous party, you do have to RSVP!

 

Party #1: August 21 (My official birthday!)
The Diana Dorell Radio Show: 3 Spiritual Lessons To Help You Trust Your Inner Wisdom
That’s right! I’m hosting an exclusive 30-minute radio segment on Blog Talk Radio and am sharing the top 3 spiritual lessons that have been most influential in my life as I reflect on my last year that helped me learn how to trust in myself (even when the going got hard). I’d also love to take your calls and do some laser coaching with you to help you trust YOUR wisdom!

This Wednesday, August 21
When: 6pm Eastern/5pm Central/3pm Pacific
How to listen: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dianadorell/2013/08/21/tips-to-attract-your-soulmate
Call in to speak with me at (619) 924-0894

Party #2: NEXT TUESDAY (August 27) *this is the correct new date!
Where Is My Soul Mate Already? Discover Your Love Blind Spot(s) So You Can Finally Have it All!
If you have been doing affirmations, working on yourself, putting yourself out there and nothing has really changed and you want it to, it could be that you have energetic blocks (I call it your Love Blind Spot) that are making it hard for you to call in a new love. On the call, I will be sharing my personal story with you and you’ll be learning an energetic tool to help you release ties with people and old relationships as well as an exercise that most people don’t know about to help you prepare to meet the love of your life.

 

***You don’t want to miss this! Even if you can’t make it live, sign up to get the recording. I’m serious! I am going to go FULL OUT on this call and I even pushed the date back (it was originally the 20th) so that I could prepare to offer you up even better, actionable content.

To RSVP, click here:
www.DianaDorell.com/manifestmrright

Have a brilliant, bright week and I look forward to connecting with you at these two events!

Love,
Diana

Karmic Connections Part Two: How they affect you in the present…a true story from Diana

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Could a past life agreement be keeping you from getting what you want in this lifetime?

I’d love to share a true story with you about a man I was in a relationship with and shared a significant past life with. 

After you read it, be sure to post your comment to the question at the end!

——-

It wasn’t until I was able to first clearly identify these past life agreements and truly release them in a safe space that I was able to break my pattern of attracting men who I could be in partnership with and feel loved and respected in the way that I know I deserved.

 

True example: Roberto

*name has been changed for privacy

 When I first met Roberto, I knew it was a karmic connection (like I described in an earlier video) because within the first few minutes of our first date, I was intensely triggered emotionally. Everything he said pushed an emotional button for me, but I kept leaning in because my body felt inexpicably drawn to his. It was like my body was on auto-pilot even though my intuition was going, “Red flag! Red flag! Be careful!” Yea…I ignored that voice. He was hot. I figured maybe I was being too picky.

But it wasn’t until I went over to this home for the first time that I started to get the feeling like we had had a very significant past life together. He had this huge wall hanging up of an Aztec warrior holding this Aztec princess on the ground. When I saw it, I gasped and he smiled. “It kinda looks like you, doesn’t it?” he said seductively. And he inched closer to me. My face and my body was on fire. Be careful! Be careful! said my intuitive knowing. But, damn, he is HOT! My inner Goddess flirted back. I downed a glass of wine so I wouldn’t have to listen to the first voice anymore for the rest of the night. I stared at the wall hanging more closely.It looked EXACTLY like me and my hair stood on end. Without thinking about it, I blurted out, “I bet you have lots of corn stored up and stuff to make a fire in case the world ends, in the back left corner of your house, right?” He stared at me for what felt like an eternity.

 “Yes! I haven’t told anyone that. How did you know that?” (Shit, I thought. Here we go….)

 How did I know that? I just did…and I could see pictures of both of us in the Aztec community, doing some kind of marriage ritual. He was like this King, all the women loved him. And he loved the attention. I was kind of in the background even though I was supposed to be the focus of the ritual. I felt resentful, alone, betrayed by my own family.There were lots of people. Colors. Words I didn’t understand. I closed my eyes and drank more wine. This was going to be an interesting night.

 

I felt incredibly on edge, off-kilter and unsafe emotionally (I just never felt like I could trust this guy) but again, my body didn’t care. And so began a crazy roller-coaster, sex-fueled six month affair with Mr. Aztec. The entire time we were together, I felt myself progressively shrinking energetically and whenever the evening was over, it was the SAME pattern. I’d be EXHAUSTED and I’d feel small. Just yea..small and like my Light was dimmed somehow. And he’d have all this energy, his skin would be glowing and he’d say, “I just feel like I am a KING when I’m with you! Like I can do anything! I’m BIG!”

 

Now I know better. What was happening was an unhealthy energy exchange. He was taking my Light and I was letting him, giving my power away by the second and getting drained of my core Life Force. I started missing appointments and he started getting new business (he was practically broke when we met, go figure). I had never been more elated, confused, and generally all over the map than during that time with Mr. Aztec. And I was a smart, intuitive woman. Why was I WILLINGLY putting myself in this situation?

 

The 3 Agreements

Now I know. I had some serious karmic agreements that needed to be brought to the Light, healed and cleared. Among them?

*The belief that my worth was determined by my fertility and sexual desirability.

(In that past life picture, I was a princess, but a princess with no power-once I was married, I lost it all and had to become basically a sex slave).

 

*The belief that I only deserved what I was given vs. standing up for what I really wanted (In that past life, I was not given the choice of who I was with. That was decided for me from the time I was born.)

 

*The belief that a good woman’s duty is to her husband and to use her voice or her gifts is selfish. (In that past life, I knew that I was a powerful healer and would lead rain dances and ceremonies for children to help them heal from disease. All those tribal assignments were taken away after the marriage ceremony.)

 

That information came to me over the course of time in that relationship and afterwards, but if I had had someone to guide me through it, I could have arrived at that clarity a lot quicker.

 

The way it ended:

One day, my intuition would not be stifled any longer and I just left his house and told him that I couldn’t dim my Light anymore (yes I actually said it like that!) and he and I were finished. He pursued me for months after and as  you probably guessed, I ended up going back for round 2 and round 3 before my head-heart and intuition were finally in agreement that this was NOT good for Diana! Ironically, once I finally was able to let it go, clear up that past life karma and take full responsibility for my choices in that relationships, there is now no weird or unhealthy energy between us and we parted amicably when I moved states. The karma was DONE. Thank Goddess!

 

The point:

 Past life connections and agreements can keep you stuck unless you consciously identify, clear and release them. Along with those are the limiting core beliefs that get stuck in our subconscious field and when you can rewire that, you free yourself energetically on many levels for new things and people to come your way! (without all the roller coaster drama!)

 

Your Turn: Fun Question!

Q: Are you already aware of a past life you’ve had? What was it? If not, what era are you drawn to in this lifetime? Why?

Ex: I love 1920’s buildings because they represent Old Hollywood Glamor.  

 

INVITATIONS:

Thank you so much for reading and if you’re not already on the newsletter

1)  sign up for updates (it’s FREE) and you’ll get my audio: The Top 5 Mistakes Women Make That Block Love!

 

 2)  Join me on the 20th! I’m having a FREE call “Manifesting Mr. Right” and I’d love to have you!

It will be recorded so to get on the official list, pop in your email here and we’ll be sending out call info later this week.

 

Have a blessed week!