Have you ever had any of these lines running through your head when it came to receiving something you really wanted?
“If I didn’t ‘work for it’, I don’t really deserve it <insert awesome desire here>.”
“If it comes too easily, it’s probably a fluke.”
“If comes too easily, I won’t really value it. If it’s hard, I’ll know it was worth it.”
These are some of the stories you can tell yourself that keep you stuck from either
a) letting something or someone go who is taking up space in your life or
b) receiving at the Highest capacity in the most graceful and efficient way.
To give you a real-life example: Diana’s crazy as* dream
One of my craziest dreams: I was trudging up a crazy rock that turned into a gigantic slide (yea…it was pretty wild!). I was trudging up there to get my red suitcase that I had left at the top and everyone was waiting for me at the bottom of the scary rock to go to the airport.
My palms were sweating and my heart was beating so fast and I wanted to cry. What if I didn’t make it all the way up? What if I fell and died? And the most hilarious question: What if I take too long and people get pissed off that they miss their flight? (recovered people pleaser here!)
But I knew if I just stayed where I was, it was going to be a long, painful experience. So once I got to the top, I saw two red suitcases-one was mine and one…get this…was my ex boyfriend’s red suitcase with all his baggage in it! (Huge metaphor!)
And in that moment, I made the decision to just take my suitcase and leave his luggage behind!
I grabbed mine and slid down the slide with ease and I squealed like a little kid as I sped down the scary rock mountain. And I got a high five and waves on the way down.
Now let’s break that down.
My subconscious (like yours) works things out in dreamland and after talking it out with my good friend, she pointed out that perhaps mine was working overtime but had finally created space for me to stop the pattern.
The pattern of associating letting go of something that had long been kept past its expiration date with PAIN and scary up-hill struggle….and feeling like I was responsible for anyone’s baggage but my own (especially in romantic relationships!).
I had to trudge up the hill (my belief that it had to be hard) but once I made the call from my Soul vs. my old story to only take my baggage down, I was free.
And it was actually quite fun to let go and I was calm in the knowledge that if he wanted to trudge up the scary rock mountain slide to get his baggage, it was quietly waiting for him up there. But I had a plane to catch!
What it really takes to transform this belief that in order to receive something great, it must have to be a “hard” process:
- shift into seeing yourself as someone who is worthy of great things (without struggle as a requirement)
- be willing to let go of the commitment you made to struggle and…
- Make a decision and daily commitment to doing what is healthy and loving for yourself (even if it annoys other people)
Q: Have you ever struggled with the belief that things have to be hard? What has helped you or which of the 3 tips above will you implement this week? Share with us in the comments here!
Want to let go in a safe space with a community of like-minded peeps?
Join me for my FREE Community Group Energy Clearing Night: Heal Your Heart Space this Thursday, May 25 (new moon!) right here: https://dianadorell.lpages.co/
The number one trait you need to nurture in yourself if you want to attract love into your life is self-confidence.
Self-confident people are sexy.
They give off an energy that is magnetic and reassuring to be around.
An energy that says, “I know who I am and I’m totally present with you.*
Can I share a story with you?
*Kathy had everything going for her.
She was at the top of her class, she looked like a model and she cared deeply about her friends and family.
Men (and women!) would be so attracted to her at first, pulled in by her gorgeous looks and unassuming nature. But not long after, she kept coming to me complaining that she had no friends and that none of the men wanted to go out on more than one date with her (unless it was to sleep with them!)
“What the heck, Diana?!”
Kathy and I had been friends for about two years, so I felt very comfortable shooting straight from the hip with her and giving my two cents, especially because she asked for it.
“Kathy, I love you, but you need to believe in yourself more. You worry way too much about what other people think and that insecurity and lack of belief in yourself is literally repelling people from wanting to be around you. You are more than just your looks. You are beautiful inside and out, you’re one of the most witty people I know, but it doesn’t matter how much I tell you this. You have to believe it for yourself or it’s going to be a very very rough life and girl…you deserve to have it all!”
Her jaw dropped open slightly.
Had I gone too far? What had I even said?!
This was years before I became a professional intuitive counselor/coach, even before I was on the spiritual path at all, but it was like the words just fell out of my mouth. I now know it was probably Spirit channeling through me the words she needed to hear at that exact moment.
She was quiet for a long time and then looked up at me and said, “Thank you. You’re right. I have been pretty down on myself. I need to stop that. My mother was always telling me that I wasn’t good enough…I always felt like I had to be the best. I always put the pressure on myself and it makes me question everything. I have to change.”
It’s amazing how everything changes with awareness.
Now it didn’t happen overnight and I’m sure she got extra support beyond what I as her friend could provide, but after that conversation, I noticed that she would catch herself before she went into another tirade of self-questioning about a certain guy, assignment, etc.
She slowly but surely began to develop her own sense of self and confidence, apart from the identity and persona she felt she had to be for everyone else.
The first step is awareness of a Truth and commitment to make a change. There is power in the commitments we make to our sacred selves.
And we have that power within us always.
There is a happy ending to this story. A few years ago, I had the pleasure of attending Kathy’s wedding and she is married to a wonderful man who adores her and all her quirks just as she is.
She’s still on the shy side, but she now walks tall and takes up space when she’s in the room with that beautiful smile. It is so cool to see that transformation in her and to see in front of my eyes what is possible when a woman decides to own her inner confidence and true beauty.
The good news is that inner confidence can be cultivated.
Here is one of my favorite confidence-building exercises. I call it the “Look at Me List.”
At the end of each day, reflect and write down one thing that you are proud of. This could be something very mundane like, “I’m proud that I didn’t skip breakfast today. I had so much energy!” to something more intangible like, “I’m proud that I spoke up for myself at work instead of slinking away and taking on additional work.” If you are stuck, you can also ask yourself, ‘What is one thing I appreciate about myself today?”
The more you do this, the more your logical, skeptical mind gets convinced that you really are a confident person.
If so, go here to get on my calendar and book a complimentary 15-minute Love Assessment consult! I’d love to help you identify the core block(s) that could be getting in your way towards attracting the love and life that you want.
NOTE: You are under no obligation to purchase services or programs by booking this call. If you are interested in learning more about those, you will have a chance to get all your questions answered at the end of the call.
*name has been changed to protect privacy
Click here—–>: Soul Love Note Pennies to hear your love note and an inspiring true story about the power of faith and being supported by the Universe. Vocals: Diana Dorell
Time: Just under 4 min. (3:41)
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For this week’s intuitive message, I pulled “Goddess Oonagh” and the card says:
“There is no need to hurry or force things to happen. Everything is occurring in perfect timing.”
As we start to approach the end of the year, you may be feeling this internal pressure to speed up, get a ton done and be “productive.”
While there’s nothing wrong with that, if it’s at the expense of your self-care and goes against the grain of what your body is telling you it needs, that’s when there is a problem.
Anxiety creeps in about the future.. “What if XYZ happen? What if XYZ doesn’t happen?”
Depression can creep in about the past. “I tried that before and look what it got me…I opened my heart and he/she broke it….I took a big risk in my business and it didn’t pan out…” etc
But the real power is when we can stay in the eye of the energetic hurricane.
Your emotions may be up and down.
But this week’s message is a reminder that you are more than your emotions.
You are more than your fears.
And you do have a choice to realign back to the present moment.
Here are 5 of my favorite mantras to help you get back in the here and manage your mind when when life starts to speed up or slow down. Say them aloud with feeling or write them in your journal to anchor it into your subconscious. Pick the one that resonates with you the most on each day or try using the same one for a week to see how it feels!
#1 Life loves me and I love life back!
#2 My needs are always met and the Universe has my back.
#3 I AM abundantly supported!
#4 It is safe for me to BE. I am enough.
#5 All is well in my world.
Q: Which Self Care Mantra calls to you today? Share with us in the comments!
Want to learn how to take better care of your Soul when life gets crazy? Registration for Self Care for Your Soul 2017 is now open!