The number one trait you need to nurture in yourself if you want to attract love into your life is self-confidence.
Self-confident people are sexy.
They give off an energy that is magnetic and reassuring to be around.
An energy that says, “I know who I am and I’m totally present with you.*
Can I share a story with you?
*Kathy had everything going for her.
She was at the top of her class, she looked like a model and she cared deeply about her friends and family.
Men (and women!) would be so attracted to her at first, pulled in by her gorgeous looks and unassuming nature. But not long after, she kept coming to me complaining that she had no friends and that none of the men wanted to go out on more than one date with her (unless it was to sleep with them!)
“What the heck, Diana?!”
Kathy and I had been friends for about two years, so I felt very comfortable shooting straight from the hip with her and giving my two cents, especially because she asked for it.
“Kathy, I love you, but you need to believe in yourself more. You worry way too much about what other people think and that insecurity and lack of belief in yourself is literally repelling people from wanting to be around you. You are more than just your looks. You are beautiful inside and out, you’re one of the most witty people I know, but it doesn’t matter how much I tell you this. You have to believe it for yourself or it’s going to be a very very rough life and girl…you deserve to have it all!”
Her jaw dropped open slightly.
Had I gone too far? What had I even said?!
This was years before I became a professional intuitive counselor/coach, even before I was on the spiritual path at all, but it was like the words just fell out of my mouth. I now know it was probably Spirit channeling through me the words she needed to hear at that exact moment.
She was quiet for a long time and then looked up at me and said, “Thank you. You’re right. I have been pretty down on myself. I need to stop that. My mother was always telling me that I wasn’t good enough…I always felt like I had to be the best. I always put the pressure on myself and it makes me question everything. I have to change.”
It’s amazing how everything changes with awareness.
Now it didn’t happen overnight and I’m sure she got extra support beyond what I as her friend could provide, but after that conversation, I noticed that she would catch herself before she went into another tirade of self-questioning about a certain guy, assignment, etc.
She slowly but surely began to develop her own sense of self and confidence, apart from the identity and persona she felt she had to be for everyone else.
The first step is awareness of a Truth and commitment to make a change. There is power in the commitments we make to our sacred selves.
And we have that power within us always.
There is a happy ending to this story. A few years ago, I had the pleasure of attending Kathy’s wedding and she is married to a wonderful man who adores her and all her quirks just as she is.
She’s still on the shy side, but she now walks tall and takes up space when she’s in the room with that beautiful smile. It is so cool to see that transformation in her and to see in front of my eyes what is possible when a woman decides to own her inner confidence and true beauty.
The good news is that inner confidence can be cultivated.
Here is one of my favorite confidence-building exercises. I call it the “Look at Me List.”
At the end of each day, reflect and write down one thing that you are proud of. This could be something very mundane like, “I’m proud that I didn’t skip breakfast today. I had so much energy!” to something more intangible like, “I’m proud that I spoke up for myself at work instead of slinking away and taking on additional work.” If you are stuck, you can also ask yourself, ‘What is one thing I appreciate about myself today?”
The more you do this, the more your logical, skeptical mind gets convinced that you really are a confident person.
If so, go here to get on my calendar and book a complimentary 15-minute Love Assessment consult! I’d love to help you identify the core block(s) that could be getting in your way towards attracting the love and life that you want.
NOTE: You are under no obligation to purchase services or programs by booking this call. If you are interested in learning more about those, you will have a chance to get all your questions answered at the end of the call.
*name has been changed to protect privacy