i was in prison
I remember gazing up at a sterile white wall.
I was in one of those flimsy hospital gowns and my heart was beating so fast.
I remember taking a heavy, labored breath and tears streamed down my face. That was the moment.
The moment I realized that I had been in prison.
Not actual prison, but a prison of my mind.
I was in the ER in Oakland and had no idea how I ended up there.
All I remembered was feeling dizzy and worried about one of the 10,000 things I had on my plate that day.
I had five jobs I was juggling, a relationship that was quickly unraveling and I honestly had to remind myself to eat my schedule was that crazy.
I call it pre-Angel awakening era.
The prison I was in is what many of us can fall into.
It is the prison of believing that your worth is only as good as what you “produce” or “do.”
I didn’t feel worthy of slowing down. Or taking a real mental or physical break. If I wasn’t doing something for someone, who was I?
Have you ever been in that place?
When you are there, your body talks to you, but you rarely listen.
And because everything in your life is connected, it wasn’t a shocker that I ended up in the ER where all they could say was I was “in a high state of stress” and in my relationship at the time, I constantly felt like I wasn’t good enough, so I overgave and was guided primarily by my insecurities…never a recipe for a loving, healthy partnership.
So, my body woke me up to the Truth of the lie I’d been buying into.
And a voice whispered…”you are enough, Diana..just as you are. There’s nothing you need to do to prove that to anyone. It’s ok to be still a bit.”
Everything that came after that day at the ER was part of what I now see as a spiritual awakening…a commitment to be more conscious and gentle with myself. To know that I am a work in progress and that perfection is an illusion.
What freed me from the prison is one word that packs a punch.
That word is permission.
And if you are desiring more love in your life and it has felt MIA, consider that it could be a great time to give yourself permission…..
Permission to release from that internal prison now….
When we judge ourselves and our worth based on our productivity, we are at the mercy of an invisible slave master.
You can’t be fully in the moment because your thoughts are one step ahead wondering and analyzing what you should or could do more of.
And newsflash: If you aren’t fully in the moment, it’s going to be way harder to hear the subtle messages from your intuition or to take the steps that would allow you to attract love into your life.
The Permission Challenge: Will you take this journey with me this week?
So starting right now I’m giving myself permission to not bang out 11 tips to xyz from my head and I trade it in for real, raw and potent Truth from my Soul. ps: That is your Soul Love nugget for this week too.
Where do you need to give yourself permission?
Are you willing to give yourself permission?
All sorts of cool shit happens when we give ourselves permission…it feels like this secret guilty pleasure, but really, giving yourself permission is about letting of self-judgement.
And when we do that, we also find that people tend to judge us less or said another way, we feel more generally accepted because well…we accept ourselves.
So, I made a “I give you permission” list for myself.
Here are three things on it.
:: I give myself permission to respond to messages only after checking in to see that I’ve nourished myself first (hydrated, fed myself, am calm, etc). I release internal pressure to respond right away…ahhh!
:: I give myself permission to say no when I get a request that will “just take a few minutes of my time.” My time is a non-renewable resource, so instead of doing the polite…maybe a little later, I’m just going for the Truth: thanks, but no thanks. No explanation needed.
:: I give myself permission to have daily space-out time in nature, even if that means me staring out my window at a tree. A screensaver of a tree doesn’t cut it.
Now over to you.
Q: What is one thing you will give yourself permission for this week?
Hit reply and tell me!
I get a lot of email so while I can’t promise a response, I do promise to read it.
Ps: Are you getting the nudge that you would like more personalized support on how to tame your monkey mind and let go of all the crap that’s been holding you back from having a great life and relationship? Click here to schedule a consult with me + let’s talk. I want to hear your goals and also see if I’m the best person to partner with you at this time. No obligation, but if you are feeling that consistent knowing that something’s gotta change, I’d love to support you.
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