Happy Tuesday and welcome to a brand-new month!
April is all about welcoming love, fresh starts and embracing your power from a loving, clear space.
Let’s dive right in, shall we?
Part of being able to welcoming in more love and starting fresh is listening to the messages coming from your intuition. But…
You know how sometimes you wish you didn’t hear an intuitive message?
Or have you ever gotten one that you know hits home…but you really really wish it didn’t?
If you’re into oracle card decks at all like me, you may have even had the experience of asking a question and pulling cards around it only to be like…um, no…I don’t want that card. Let me shuffle again…only to have the same darn card come up again! And again!
So you go for a walk or put on a show to try to distract yourself from the message you just received, only it’s still in the back of your brain like this annoying little tapping you can’t quite drown out.
Until you face the music and listen to what’s coming up past the discomfort of the delivery.
It’s those times when you wish you weren’t so intuitive, you wish you could just go back to being unconscious and blissfully ignorant to a Soul Truth that rocks your whole belief system or your world view. Yes, I’m being dramatic, but hey, depends on the message right?
So here’s one that I heard a few years ago that I didn’t listen to for a long. Ass. time.
And if I had listened to it it would have saved me so much time. Energy. Yes even money.
Can I share the story with you with the intent that it supports you in your own journey to love and self-love?
Once upon a time…
I was in a series of relationship after relationship, all ending around the same 1 year mark.
It was usually around that time, that I would start to seriously give my power away unconsciously and the belief that I uncovered after a lot of work and money was this:
If you are powerful, a man won’t love you. If you don’t need him to take care of you in every single way, a man will leave.
It was so so deeply ingrained in my cells that inevitably around that time when the relationship would deepen, it’s like I became this shrinked version of myself.
I would start to sabotage any success in my business or career.
I emotionally ate and gained weight.
I stopped doing the activities that I loved like dancing and singing. In short, I became like Cinderella, but BEFORE she met the Prince.
Putting the man and his needs above my own. Overgiving from a place of fear that if I really let my power pop out, he wouldn’t be able to handle it…and I’d be left alone.
I treated my body poorly and engaged in sex when I didn’t really feel like it…or over-did it to compensate for the fact that it was the only area I felt I had some control over my life.
And the weird part was that the more I did these things…the more success would show up in the man’s life so he thought things were going awesome! He was literally getting all of my energy! And there was nothing left for me because I gave it all away.
As my friend Heather would say, “No bueno, girl!”
And I remember the moment the tough love intuition hit me.
I had just gone to San Diego to visit a man I was in a “complicated” relationship with (all on my dime of course, and on all of his terms…).
And I remember leaving his apartment after a passionate but emotionally confusing weekend when a very loud (but kind) voice said..
“It’s time to give up the Cinderella story. You never needed to be rescued. And this man or any man will never be able to love you the way you deserve if you keep giving your power away.”
That one stopped me in my tracks. I started to cry immediately (which of course he didn’t even notice).
It took me three more weeks of ignoring that message until I finally had the courage to end the relationship and do the work I needed to do on myself to reclaim my energy and my power. I was on the road to recovery…and it felt damn good.
Here are 3 truths I realized. Take if you need.
Truth 1:: To receive true love at the Highest Level, you must love yourself and treat your body, mind and money with the utmost kindness, respect and grace.
Truth 2:: It is safe for you to be a powerful person. You can be in your power and be kind. Never confuse being in your power with being “mean, selfish, overbearing or unloving.” People may not like you in your power. That’s ok. Let them stand aside. They weren’t really authentic friends, partners, etc if they can only be around you when you shrink.
Truth 3:: There is a difference than being in a co-dependent relationship and in an inter-dependent one. The first comes from a total giving away of your power and choices and will diminish you. The second says, “You are powerful and capable and worthy of love. I am powerful and capable and worthy of love.”
Which one of the 3 Truths resonate with you the most this week?
Leave a comment and share with us! There is power in community.
And before you dash, let me ask you this:
Are you ready to feel more powerful and receive true love?
Are you ready to move out of co-dependency, set healthy boundaries and feel amazing and happy?
My good friend and founder of Hair Chair Confessions, Karen Stevenson is hosting a free series to help you have more self-love and self-respect and I am honored to be one of her featured speakers along with my dear friend Marcy Neumann and other relationship experts on self love and codependency.
Want to join us?! We are going to make this heavy topic FUN and I’d love, love, love to have you be a part of it with me!
Have a blessed week!
And remember…everything awesome happens on the other side of letting go of your Cinderella story…at least the rescuing part 😉