10 Years Later: Three Love Lessons That Still Guide Me Today

Ten years ago, I published my first book, The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again with one of my best friends, MaryEllen Smith.

Honestly?

I thought I was writing a dating book.

Looking back now, I realize I was writing about something much deeper.

I was writing about learning to trust yourself again.

Since then, I’ve gotten married, coached thousands of women, built an incredible community, and experienced heartbreak, joy, uncertainty, and more growth than I could have imagined. While some things have evolved, these three lessons have stood the test of time.

1. Stop Following Everyone Else’s Rules

When I first started coaching, there were endless dating “rules.”

Wait three days.

Don’t text first.

Play hard to get.

Never let him know you like him.

Those rules never sat well with me because they asked women to ignore the one voice that matters most: their own intuition.

Your intuition doesn’t speak in fear.

It speaks in truth.

Sometimes that truth says, “Reach out.”

Sometimes it says, “Walk away.”

The more you trust yourself, the less you need someone else to tell you what to do.

2. Every Relationship Is a Mirror

One of the biggest ideas behind The Dating Mirror was that relationships reveal what’s happening within us.

Not to shame us.

Not to blame us.

But to invite us into greater awareness.

Instead of asking:

“Why does this keep happening to me?”

Try asking:

“What is this relationship helping me see about myself?”

That one question has changed not only my own relationships but also countless conversations with clients over the years.

3. Trust Begins With You

The older I get, the more I believe this.

Trusting another person begins with trusting yourself.

Trust yourself to recognize red flags.

Trust yourself to communicate honestly.

Trust yourself to change your mind.

Trust yourself to leave what no longer feels aligned.

Trust yourself to receive the love that’s meant for you.

That kind of self-trust changes every relationship in your life.

A Full Circle Moment

As I celebrate this ten-year anniversary, I feel so grateful.

Grateful for every reader.

Every client.

Every woman who chose to believe that extraordinary love starts within.

It’s also why this year’s Come Home to Yourself, Intuitive Queen Retreat in Sedona feels so meaningful to me.

At its heart, the retreat isn’t about learning more information.

It’s about coming home to your own inner wisdom.

Because when you trust yourself, every decision becomes clearer, every relationship becomes healthier, and life begins to feel much more like your own.

Early Bird registration ends July 15, and I’d love to spend those beautiful September days with you in Sedona if your heart has been quietly whispering “yes.”

Until then…

Keep trusting yourself.

She’s wiser than you know.