Before You Make a Big Decision: 3 Ways to Trust Yourself

The other day I found myself laughing about something I used to do in my twenties.

Mercury retrograde has me feeling nostalgic.

The other day, my mind wandered back to my twenties when I lived in San Francisco—right in Haight-Ashbury, the land of the hippies.

For some reason, I couldn’t stop laughing about these four-inch leopard-print stilettos I used to wear to the clubs. Picture this: it’s 3:00 a.m., I’m trying to hike up those famously steep San Francisco hills in heels, wondering why my feet hurt.

Seriously…what was I thinking?

Today I’d tell my 23-year-old self, “Girl, pack some flats!”

It made me think about the decisions we make throughout life. Thankfully, most of our choices aren’t about shoes. They’re about relationships, careers, business, money, where to live, or whether to say yes to an opportunity.

When you’re standing at one of those crossroads, here are the three simple steps I use before making an important decision.

Step 1: Breathe First

It sounds almost too simple, doesn’t it?

But the higher the stakes, the more likely we are to stop breathing.

We rush.
We overthink.
We let adrenaline, anxiety, or outside pressure take over.

Instead, pause.

Take a few slow, deep breaths.

Even thirty seconds of intentional breathing helps calm your nervous system so you’re making a grounded decision instead of reacting from fear or urgency.

Slow everything down.

Step 2: Ask Yourself These Two Questions

Once you’ve settled your nervous system, ask yourself:

1. Is this decision in alignment with my current values and priorities?

Notice I said current.

Not the version of you from five years ago.
Not who someone else thinks you should be.
Not the dream you’ve already outgrown.

The woman you are today.

This is a quick yes-or-no question. Don’t overanalyze it.

Then ask:

2. Does saying yes to this make me feel expansive?

Some people use the word lighter.

For me, the word is expansive.

I imagine a balloon floating higher and becoming bigger, freer, and more alive.

Does this decision create that feeling inside of you?

Your body often knows long before your mind catches up.

Step 3: Take One Immediate Action

This is where so many people get stuck.

After you’ve answered those questions…

Take one step.

Write the email.

Make the phone call.

Book the ticket.

Tell someone yes.

Or tell them no.

Do the thing you’ve been avoiding.

Because here’s what often happens:

The moment you choose something that’s truly aligned, your subconscious throws a little temper tantrum.

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“What if they judge me?”

“What if I fail?”

“You’re not ready.”

“You’re not intuitive enough.”

It’s just noise.

When you feel both expansive and a little scared, that’s often a powerful sign that you’re stretching beyond an old identity.

Everything that’s been keeping you small is coming to the surface—not to stop you, but to be acknowledged and released.

That’s how you stop making decisions from instant gratification, people-pleasing, pressure, or monkey mind…

…and start making decisions from self-trust.

From clarity.

From confidence.

From love.

Let’s Keep It Simple

The next time you’re facing a big decision, remember these three steps:

Breathe. Get back into your body.
Ask yourself:
Is this aligned with my current values and priorities?
Does this feel expansive?
Take one immediate action that moves you forward.

You don’t have to have every answer before you begin.

Sometimes clarity doesn’t come before the first step.

Sometimes it comes because you took it.

With love,

Diana Dorell

I’d love to hear from you: What’s one decision you’re sitting with right now? Leave a comment below or send me a message. And if this resonated with you, please share it with a friend who could use a little extra clarity today.