Posts

Say Thank You to it All…

When you don’t know what else to do, say thank you. 

One of my favorite authors, Tosha Silver, talks about this a lot.

The idea that when you start to feel yourself slip into a negative mind loop, or frustration that instead of doing a thousand mantras, first get quiet and say thank you.

Thank you for the challenges.

Thank you for the guy who ghosted you after the perfect 2nd date. 

Thank you for all the weight gained.

Thank you for the anxiety you feel around your job.

Thank you for all of it.

I know it sounds crazy, but just do me a favour-give it a go for a week.

See how you feel after you voice it aloud.

“Thank you Universe for…(let ‘er rip!)”<let ‘er=”” rip!=””>

You may find that energy lightens up and things have space to move and shift. 

Q: How did it go for you? I’d love to hear how you feel by the end of the week! Share a comment if you feel guided and if you haven’t already picked up your free self-assessment: 7 Things That Are Blocking Your Heart’s Desire, click here

Needy, needy, needy

Happy Tuesday!

The other day, I was speaking with a girlfriend and she was complaining about how her partner, who adores her, doesn’t like to give her shoulder or foot massages when she was tired from working-when she tried to confront hime about it, he just said it “isn’t his thing-he doesn’t like feet.”

Regardless of whether or not her partner was interested in giving her massages, I could tell they were totally in love with each other otherwise. 

Was all hope lost? she asked me. 

Not necessarily.

It just highlighted a very important value for her-physical touch.

No one person can meet every single need-that’s not realistic, nor is it healthy to expect that.

So, I invited her to explore options-was there something else that would give her the same feeling of receiving a massage from her partner? 

At first, she was resistant to the idea, and then she got quiet and said-“You know, I really just want to feel his body near me-not necessarily in a sexual way but it makes me feel calm and connected.”

So, really it wasn’t even the massage itself tat was the most important-it was the feeling of…calm and connection. 

She got creative and saw different ways she could feel that way with him that didn’t require him to give her feet a rub and also ways she could give that to herself.

Some of the things she came up with?

  • asking for him to hold her hand while she was taking a bath (not every time but once in awhile). He agreed right away!
  • for herself: turning off her electronics an hour before bed and getting a weighted blanket
  • listening to sounds of the ocean as she wrapped up her work day and slipping into fuzzy socks
  • touching feet under the dinner table while talking about their day. Another easy win for him and her!

The fun part was hearing about how much more intimate their relationship felt even after a week of just making a few tweaks.

And what made me laugh out loud was that he bought her a foot and leg assuage thing to use whenever she wanted! (and I’m sure would agree to hold her hand while she used it!)

The takeaway here is two-fold:

  1. When you get creative with discovering the feeling you are desiring behind a need, it’s way easier to come up with ways to get those needs met.
  2. When you take ownership of your needs and stop assuming one person to be your need–machine, they are more likely to step up to want to make you happy!

Q: What is one need that has been calling to you to address? What is one creative way you could get the same feeling? Share with us!

Listen to Your Heart

Happy last week of 2021!

As we close out this year, I pulled a card for all of our community: Listen to Your Heart

I also am drawn to the number 7 on the card, which represents a spiritual awakening of sorts. 

An opening.

You may have really been tested this year with relationships and gotten more clear on what works for you.

What doesn’t.

And where you need to trust yourself more.

It’s important to reflect on where you have been so you can take those lessons into 2022.

For those of you that would like to go deeper, here are some things you can ask yourself or journal around to close out the year. NOTE: I say “one thing” to give you a structure and staring point but feel free to do 50+ things!!!

  • One thing I’m proud of from this year was…
  • One thing that tested me this year was…
  • One way I’ve grown this year is…
  • One thing I will never accept again is…
  • One thing I know  I need to be more receptive to is…
  • One thing I know will support me as I walk into 2022 is…

It’s been such an honor to have you in my community. 

I hope to bring you more content and stories next year that empower you to trust and love yourself and create an amazing relationship, starting with the one with you.

If you have ideas of what you’d lie to see in the newsletter, please share it here. I’d love to hear from you! 

How I Really Feel About the Law of Attraction

Happy Winter Solstice!

I’ve been loving wearing layers and fuzzy slippers, spacing out looking at all theXmas lights and lighting candles are the home. 

How about you?

As we draw close to the end of 2021, a lot of the conversations I’ve had with friends and clients and colleagues have all kinda circled around the same thing-law of attraction!

And when it comes to relationships, I feel strongly called to explore a different perspective with you because I feel like there’s a lot of negative self-talk and self-blame around it!

Here’s my feeling on the Law of Attraction: as always, follow your own intuition-I’m just sharing my two cents.

Sometimes, yes, we attract people are in our lives that ‘match’ us energetically nd it can e uncomfortable to see that if you keep attracting people you don’t want, you may need to look at where you yourself are exhibiting the same pattern (perhaps in another area of your life.) When you clean that up, you may find you attract this pattern less. 

And… I always want to throw out there that sometimes people are in your space simply to show you how committed (or uncommitted) you are to what you desire. 

It’s a really delicate line but it’s so easy to go into a downward spiral thinking, “What’s wrong with me that I attracted ANOTHER emotionally unavailable guy?”

Instead, you can choose to see it as an opportunity to say, “Wow-thank you for the reminder that I no longer am available for unavailable men. I am more clean than ever before on this!”

Then, the next time your body sends you those clean, unmistakable red flags that you are about to fall into an all-familiar pattern, you just won’t engage with it or let it go further than it should. 

And with that newly strengthened commitment to YOU, it may feel less scary to take the actions that you know would support you.

Examples: 

If he isn’t calling or responding to you, instead of going into overdrive and texting, emailing and leaving voicemails for him, you back off and go about your day. 

If you’re always the friend who is reaching out to make plans, stop making plans and see if your friend steps up (or have that conversation about how you’d love to shift the dynamic!) 

If you keep getting passed over for promotion at work, instead of your old pattern of holding it all in, you make a list of all the contributions you’ve made to the company over the past sex months and schedule a time to meet with your boss. 

Q: Now I ask you. What is one brae action you have already taken or will take in service to your dreams? 

Any thoughts on Law of Attraction to share? 

I’d love to hear from you!

Have an amazing Xmas if you celebrate it and rest of your week.