should you date a guy with kids?

/0 Comments/in , /by

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”– Lucille Ball

Q: I’m dating a guy with young kids and he says he loves me and I love him, but I always feel like everything we do has to be on his schedule. I’m starting to feel like I’m not getting my needs met. Should I stay with him and just accept that I’m never going to come first or should I just let it go now before I commit any further? Help!

This is a GREAT question and we’re going to hit it from several angles.

The suggestions offered can be applied to ANY area of your life where you feel like you’re getting the short end of the stick and you aren’t sure what the heck to do.

It all comes down to a few simple, but powerful things.

After you watch the video, be sure to answer the Soul Challenge Question for this week below!

Soul Challenge:

Here are some questions to consider: Share with us in the comments!

  1. Have you ever dated a guy with kids? What was your biggest takeaway from that experience? Any advice?
  2. What is ONE choice that you would be willing to make today that would be an act of self love?
  3. Share + take action on #2!

ps: Can I send you a free gift to help you make better decisions in love and life? Click here!

————————–

Prefer to read? Here you go!

Title: Should you date a guy with kids?

Q: I’m dating a guy with young kids and he says he loves me and I love him, but I always feel like everything we do has to be on his schedule. I’m starting to feel like I’m not getting my needs met. Should I stay with him and just accept that I’m never going to come first or should I just let it go now before I commit any further?

A: There are a few key things happening here to look at.

First, being comfortable with a guy who has young children who still live at home.

Second, feeling safe to communicate what your needs are and standing up for what’s important to you and finally, deciding whether this is a situation that is going to help you get closer to your heart’s desire or take you further away.

It all boils down to 3 things: self-love, self-worth and knowing your deal breakers.

In your heart of hearts, before moving any further, it’s super important to ask yourself, “Is dating a guy with young kids a deal breaker?”

For example:

If deep down, you really want children of your own someday (in whatever capacity that looks like) and you’ve talked with him about it and he’s made it clear the kids he has are IT for him, well, then staying with him could feel like an act of self-betrayal… unless you are 100% willing to assume the role of stepmother and would be fulfilled with that.

If you on the other hand, you feel pretty neutral about having children with this man or he’s open to having more but are having a hard time getting the 1:1 time and feeling of adoration you want from him, then the issue is really about feeling confident and worthy of being adored.  It all goes back to basics. Self. Love.

Whatever we “need” from another is something we have to first learn how to provide for ourselves.

Important: This never comes from a “see-i-don’t-need-a-man-i-can-do-it-myself” lone ranger kind of place. That feels heavy and that’s when people can feel bitter about love.

It’s about learning how to come to the table with the qualities we seek in another so we have something to offer the relationships! It’s about coming from a place of overflow vs lack or seeking something we fear we aren’t really worthy of giving to ourselves.

Only then can we truly embrace the love that someone else has to offer us. And that makes them want to give you MORE. And you have to DO less. It’s truly a win: win.

So, the answer to the question is “it depends” (not what you probably wanted to hear, but hey, the Universe isn’t black and white.)

It depends on how much you are loving yourself.

It depends how deeply you affirm your own worth, not just in love, but everywhere in your life.

It depends on how well you are communicating what really want to yourself first and then another.

It depends on how well you know your deal breakers.

It depends on your level of courage and your risk-taking threshold.

It depends on how much you love yourself (yes I put it twice on purpose!)

And finally, it depends on what feels true and authentic to help your Soul fulfill it’s truest desires.

Soul growth is never easy, but TRUE and AUTHENTIC will always get you closer to what you really want.

 

Soul Challenge:

Here are some questions to consider: Share with us in the comments!

  1. Have you ever dated a guy with kids? What was your biggest takeaway from that experience? Any advice?
  2. What is ONE choice that you would be willing to make today that would be an act of self love?
  3. Share + take action on #2!

ps: Can I send you a free gift to help you make better decisions in love and life? Click here!

3 tips to rock the ‘red-hot’-moon (and your love life)

/0 Comments/in , /by

Tomorrow (October 8) we have a full moon which is the first big energy date to watch in this month’s heavy spiritual line-up!

It’s known as the “red moon” because if you look at it, it supposedly will have a reddish brown color to it, but from an energy standpoint, red is the color of the root chakra and it’s also the color of passion.

Stuff is coming up like:

where you live, who are you safe around, feeling secure with what you have, especially in relationships, where you aren’t living your passion and you’re pissed about it, or where you are living your passion but you’re spreading it around so fast you can’t keep up!

Yeah.

It sounds like a lot of negative stuff, but it’s actually the perfect time to re-align your most important relationships and clear away some old debris to make space for the real you!

I made a video for you (yay for new red lipstick!) where you will learn:

  • Clarity on what the heck this full moon is about and how it relates to your everyday life
  • The question to ask others before you fly off the handle or make an important move (especially helpful if you run into an ex during this cycle!)
  • The simple mantra that keeps you sane even when people around you are going cray-cray
  • 3 tips to rock this red moon + your relationships (especially with the one you have inside your head 😉

After you watch it, be sure to check out the Soul Challenge Question of the Week and share your answer with us in the comments!

This week: What is ONE thing you are making space for on this Full Moon? Leave a comment and share with us!

ps: Are you coming to Sedona? Just a few Spots Left! Check it out below.

 

 

 

part 2: positioning your space for love

/2 Comments/in , /by

Read Part 1 here

 

Now you’ve prepped your space. It’s free of dirt, you’ve sorted through what needs to go and what gets to stay and now you’re ready for the second step: Positioning your space for the relationship or energy you want to call in.

The most important position is the position of your bed. This is a Feng-Shui rule, but I want to say this about any of the suggestions I am about to share: listen to your body’s signals about what feels good. What feels “good” for lack of a better phrase is “your Feng-Shui.” Got it? Good.

As you enter your bedroom, you want to avoid the following bed positions:

  • “Corpse” Pose: With your bed right in line with the door, this position supposedly drains your energy of its natural vitality.
  • Especially if you are tired of being single, “bed pushed up against the side of a wall.” This position leaves no room for the “partner” to enter his/her side of the bed and there is no room for a second nightstand which is a no-no….unless you want “one-night-stands” or you really just want to be alone right now. 
  • Head right under a window. Not only does this position just plain feel weird, being so close to a window supposedly drains your energy in the same way that being in the corpse pose does. If you absolutely can’t find another position except this one, then I would suggest getting a very solid headboard that comes up high enough when you sit up in the bed to avoid the glass and some nice curtains that feel protective and nurturing.

Ideal positions have you:

– being able to see the door and

-also have your head near a wall for extra support.

-leave enough space on either side to enter and exit

See my 3 fabulous, hand-drawn masterpieces below!

photo.JPG

 Other important things to consider:

Night Stands and Space around the Bed:

  • Make sure there are TWO, ideally identical, but if you just moved into a new place, you can use that moving box as a nightstand…temporarily.
  • Having something stand in for what you want is a good idea, but just make sure that your intention is to actually get a solid one or the relationships you attract could mimic the nature of the box: temporary!
  • Having two that are different shapes are okay as long as your partner has room to put their stuff up too.
  • Make sure you are able to freely move around your bed (on each side). If there is a set of drawers in the way or a gorgeous statue or dressing chest, move it somewhere else! If you have to tiptoe around your own bed, remember everything is energy. Do you want to tip-toe around your relationship? My guess is no! So keep the space around clean, free-flowing and roomy and that’s what you will invite in too!

ps:

DSCN1828.jpg

Are you ready to create more space energetically for the things you want? Ready to get out of your head? Come to Sedona this winter! Spaces are limited! Click here

4-steps to preparing your space for love (Part 1 of 3)

/1 Comment/in , /by

Unknown“Your sacred space is where you find yourself again and again.”-Joseph Campbell 

Let’s face it-it’s no surprise that when you de-clutter your space, you feel more energized, more clear-headed and generally make better decisions about your life.

Beyond those awesome side-effects, our spaces (internally and externally) can affect the way we feel about ourselves but also send an energetic signal to the Universe about what we say we want and what we are willing to put up with.

I love the art of Feng-Shui and combined with space clearing (a technique to energetically clean out lower vibrations from a space), my secret fantasy of being a spiritual HGTV interior decorator comes to life!

One of the biggest things I see with super busy entrepreneurs is a lack of separation between their personal and professional lives, which affects your energy and if you’re single and wanting to be in partnership or if you are already with someone but something feels off, looking at your bedroom from an energetic standpoint is a great place to start.

Here are 3 simple tips to get your bedroom ready for more harmony, peace, and romance!

Over the next 3 weeks we will look at 3 core components: Preparation. Positioning (pun intended! haha!). and Passion. (wohoo!)

Part 1: Preparation

Total time required: Approx 1-2 hours…unless you are O.C.D, have a super clean space already or are so intuitive that you are one step ahead of me.

Materials needed: Trash bags, cleaning supplies, candle (optional), 3 Moving Boxes or Trader Joes paper bags with the handle (depends on how big your space is and how much crap you have!), 3 post-its labeled Trash, Sell/Donate, I’m Not Sure

1) Set an intention
Always! This is the most important step because without it, you can move furniture around to your heart’s content but it won’t have the energy behind it to work for you.

Example: I desire more peace of mind (literally, shut UP To-Do list generator!). I desire more romance. I desire more S-E-X, like at least 4X/week. Whatever it is, write it down AND declare it aloud. You can even get all fancy and light your favorite candle to symbolize this new intention coming in. The Universe has NO opinion about what you desire, so don’t be afraid to really put it out there Goddess!

2) Clean!
This goes without saying. When was the last time you checked for dust bunnies under the bed? Time to put on some Lady Gaga and bust out the Swiffer Mop and trash bags.

New energy can’t flow in a space where there is dirt and grime. Bonus: put your whole body into it and burn off extra calories!

3) Call in Help
Okay..so you have your 3 boxes, labeled Trash, Sell/Donate, I’m Not Sure. Get quiet, close your eyes and call in the Divine/Angels, Higher Self, whatever you believe in and say, “Thank you for helping me sort my stuff for my Highest and Greatest Good.”

4) Spiritual Sorting of your Sh*%
Open your eyes and go around your room SLOWLY. As you look and hold the different objects you have, ask, “Does this energize me and align with my intention for (look back at what you wrote)?” It’s a YES or a NO. If it’s a YES, it stays. If it’s a NO, use your intuition to tell you which box it goes in.

You may need more than 1-2 hours. Don’t stress. You can work on one area of your bedroom at a time.

As you go through these 4 steps, notice if any emotions come up for you. Pause. Reflect and Feel. Remember, this is not just about preparing your room for love. It’s also about preparing your Soul. Be tender and loving with yourself and you will all set for next week, when I teach you about the positioning of furniture and objects in your sacred space! Wohoo!

Soul Question: Share with us or in your journal!

“What is your intention for your new space? What comes up as you think about preparing your space following the 4-steps? What are you excited to call in? Share with us in the comments!

ps:

Sedona Dancing.jpg

 

Are you ready for a complete Soul shift and transformation? Spaces are going for my November Ignite Your Soul! retreat in Sedona! Click here to check it out + join us!

should you go out with him again? do this to find out

/0 Comments/in , /by

When you get back into the dating game, it’s totally normal to feel uncomfortable and it can feel hard to know the difference between the signals you are getting from your intuition and just old fears that could be creeping up around getting back in the game and being vulnerable.

You may have heard the advice, “Always trust your first impressions.”

While first impressions are important, I want to take it a step further. Some of the most powerful information about a date and whether going out with them again would be a good idea for your Soul happens in the 3-5 minutes AFTER the date ends and you leave their presence.

Note: This exercise is most effective if you are doing in-person dating.

In the 3-5 minutes after they or you leave, your gut feelings come to the surface to process the information you received about your interaction and connection.

Capitalize on this!

What to do:

Put a little notepad in your purse and after they leave, when you are sitting on the train or in your car, write down the answers to the following questions. Do it quickly as the logical mind will want to swoop in and what you want to capture is your intuitive knowings.

1. Right now, my body is feeling……

Example: tight in the throat, open and warm, a little scared, nervous, like butterfiles

Don’t judge anything you write down. Again,  you are just downloading information.

2. What I already know about this connection is…

Example: I really trust them, I’m not sure I feel safe,  I feel light, etc.

3. The next morning, look back at your answers and make your decision.

Sometimes if your body is tight that doesn’t necessarily mean NO. In that case, ask your intuition, “Is there something I want to ask them or tell them that would help me feel more clear?”

And if you get a “Yes” write down what you want to say or ask and make a plan to connect with them. And if you get a “No” to that, then that’s a likely sign your intuition is saying that it’s probably not in your best interest to keep dating that person and that’s okay! There is a pot for every lid and what this exercise does is helps you determine whether a date is your energetic match or not. Nothing bad or good about you or them. It’s about energy! And as you practice this exercise you will learn how to trust your intuition and its impressions to draw in that special soul mate soon enough Goddess!

Now I want to hear from you:

Q: Have you ever been on a date where you got some strong feelings right after? Did you listen to them or not? And what did you learn about yourself through the experience? 

Share with us in the comments and if you feel stuck right now in any part of your life, RSVP for my free class: 6 Reasons You Aren’t Getting What You Say You Want!