he kept pulling me in emotionally
Have you ever had something just take you way off your center?
It’s New Moon week and with New fabulous beginnings also comes those moments where life tests you to see how far you’ve really come.
Old people from the past show up and you get to resolve something.
Old issues resurface and you get to make a different choice than you would have before and it all turns out awesome, even though it scares you.
Old ways of responding are up for debate and you can surprise yourself!
Can I share something super personal with you today?
I’ve been healing from a major breakup.
All the emotional ups and downs that come with it.
And recently, the ex contacted me via text to tell me he loved me.
That he was sorry for bothering me.
(I asked that he limit contact so we can both heal and move on)
When he did this in the past, I always got pulled into an emotional drama and would be a total mess.
So when I saw the number pop up on my phone my initial response was, ugh!!!
And at first, my guard was totally up and I just said something curt like, “That’s nice.Take care.” (Take THAT annoying man who can’t make up his mind Ego-induced victory!)
But because this is New Moon week and I’m a big fan of fresh starts and Soul growth, I decided to do something different.
But the truth was my heart hurt.
Like physically hurt.
I could barely breathe. My throat closed up and I just felt a mix of churning in my stomach.
This is what a broken heart feels like, but more than that, it’s what a closed heart feels like.
In my efforts to guard my emotions, I had left out the most important ingredient: the Truth.
So I did something I never do in a break up.
I stopped pretending that I felt strong and ‘together’ and ‘over it.’
I broke all the ‘rules’ that say you should just block their calls, etc.
Somehow this moment felt like it warranted something different.
I texted him back and said something to the effect of: “I know this is hard. I love you too. I feel a wall around my heart and it hurts but I’m just doing the best I can to move on. I’ll let down the wall again when I’m ready and I want to but for now, it’s shut. Goodnight.”
“I love you so much. I’m so sorry. Goodnight.”
We had a beautiful exchange.
And the best part? I didn’t leave in a heap of tears like I usually would have.
I do my best to practice what I preach.
I had made sure that before I replied to that text, I was out of my heart space and I took myself down the energetic elevator to my Knowing. My intuitive center. Where my Spirit was in control, not my head or my Ego.
Want to learn how to do that? I’m sharing it all with brave souls next week…if you feel guided to dive in with me.
There was no expectation for anything other than acknowledging a moment of Truth.
I love you.
I feel this.
And in that moment, I felt free.
Free from the mental prison and the energy it takes to sustain a facade of the heart.
Is it the end of the story?
I don’t know yet. It’s the end of a chapter.
But I know that moving on comes in phases.
And to authentically move on, it requires that we let go of our Ego’s need to control our heart.
It’s about integration.
It’s about self-love and self-trust and certainly, self-worth.
It’s never about knowing the full story. Or having a guarantee. Life just isn’t set up that way in my humble opinion.
But it doesn’t have to be so freakin hard.
For those of you who know you have a hard time staying out of your heart space or getting tangled up in other peoples’ crap, I’d love to invite you to my upcoming intuition course:
Intuition 101: Mastering the Art of Decision-Making and More!
It starts next week and you will leave the 5 weeks armed with intuitive tools you can use for a lifetime.
I know what it feels like to live out of integrity with your intuition.
To live from just your head (everything feels HARD!)
To operate just from your heart (everything feels OVERWHELMING and CONFUSING!)
And most of all, I know that there is another way that combines the best of your brilliant logic, your huge heart space and your intuition.
If you want to learn, I’m here to show you and take you deeper into my world!
It all goes down April 27!
And if you got nothing else out of this email, remember this:
Life isn’t about escaping pain. It’s about letting it take you deeper into yourself so you can show up as the authentic, amazing person that you know you are! <– CLICK TO TWEET
You are loved!
Q: Have you ever surprised yourself with how you handled a difficult exchange? What happened and what helped you get through it? Share in the comments below!
Thanks so much for reading this and have a fabulous New Moon week!
Thanks Diana for reminding me through your story. It’s just what I needed right now as I move on from my past. There’s nothing more freeing or powerful or SAFE than an open heart in alignment with its truth.
I’m so glad that my story helped you Rebekah! Thank you so much for sharing this and am sending you tons of love and good energy. Diana 🙂
It was brave to share this, and I am so thankful that you did. It can be so hard to be open and honest in pain, but also so healing. Thank you for being that support for me when I was going through an emotional “freak” out. Sending lots of love and healing to both of you!
Thank you so much Andrea! I’m so glad that the story resonated with you. It’s sometimes through those “freak outs” that we get to hear our Truth. Love and Hugs! Diana
Thank you so much for your post! I can relate to your experience as I am experiencing that at this moment with my son’s dad. I have tried to use heart space and head space at various times in our relationship. Today, I have blocked him from any contact so that we (and I) can heal and move forward. It feels better this way. I appreciate your courage and authenticity. And, I feel a little sad. I wish the best for your ex and for you!
Thank you so much for sharing your story too and for your kind words. I’m so happy to hear that the post was helpful and good for you for taking care of yourself and creating a space for healing to happen. So important! Sending you tons of love and hugs! Love, Diana