Birthday Reflections
Happy Tuesday Goddess!
Before we dive into today’s post, I just want to say Thank you to everyone for all the beautiful Birthday blessings, wishes and kind messages.
I feel so grateful and wanted to share some of the wisdom that came up in my birthday reflection this year that can help you with relationships and life.
3 Love Lessons (birthday reflections)
Lesson 1: Saying no from a space of genuine self-care is the greatest YES you can give to yourself (and others, even if you disappoint them first). I got invited to a karaoke night out with a few friends-I roped my husband to come out on a weekday and was so gun-ho about it…until the next day. I had had a sleepless night (my own fault: I had caffeine way too late the day before) and by 4pm, a few hours before we were meant to meet everyone, I knew it wasn’t happening. I tried-I rallied, but my body was screaming…noooooo. I let my friend know and I felt bad when she said she’d gotten me a birthday cake and everything (not expected, but super sweet). A part of me felt so guilty and wanted to just power through. But, I seriously didn’t have it in me. I had to disappoint them and stay home. So, I did. And the world didn’t fall apart and we are still friends.
Lesson 2: Leave room to be surprised! (aka, stop trying to control every dang thing!)
My husband made a dinner reservation to take me out Saturday-I could tell he was really concerned about me liking the place and instead of trying to control things and tell him exactly where I wanted to be taken to, I let him go through his own process to pick. He is amazing at picking delicious places to eat, knows me well and I totally trust him-and we had an amazing time! He took me to this 1930’s converted house downtown Phoenix in a super funky, cool area and the food was….delicious! Was I maybe slightly overdressed? Yep, but again, who cares? It was so awesome to be surprised and to receive. I realized all the places in my life where I could benefit from a little bit more, “let’s see what happens” and expect to be absolutely delighted instead of keeping a death grip on the details and outcome.
Lesson 3: Give yourself grace from the “shoulds”
I don’t know what it is about birthdays, but I have noticed, in the past, I’ve had a tendency to measure my life against the one I thought I “should” have by now. And I’d feel so bummed, depressed and generally crappy because most of the time, there was always some goal or benchmark that I felt I failed at or just didn’t even see as a tiny speck of possibility on the horizon. Cue Bridget Jones Diary and a large pizza. This year, there was none of that. Instead of “shoulding” all over myself, I gave myself some grace. I asked, “What are 3 highlights of this past year around the sun?” The first ones that came, I just let myself soak in, honor and fully remembered. I let my body feel the pride, or the joy, or even the delicious growth of the memory all over again. And that was it. No intense self-inquiry or judgement. Back to the present moment. I have shit to do, afterall!
That’s it!
That’s what I got for you this week, Goddess.
Apply the lessons to your own life if you wish-and if there’s one in particular that spoke to you more than the others, I’d love to hear about it!
Which one will you adopt this week? Lemme know and if you’re wanting an extra energy BOOST to make this last quarter of 2023 your absolute best, check out my Birthday Gold Treatment Bundle Special! It’s good until August 31 and you can use them anytime before the end of this glorious year!
Can You Radically Accept Yourself?
Happy Tuesday!
In honor of July’s theme of radical self-acceptance, are you willing to let go of the negative chatter in your head?
I have had a tendency in the past to worry about everything-what could go wrong, what I may have done wrong or not good enough.
My dad would often find me as a little girl in my room obsessing for days about how I phrased something to a friend, what a teacher said, what I did or didn’t do.
At some point, he just laughed and said something to the effect of, “I guess that’s just what you do-worrying is just part of your process.”
The truth is, sometimes it feels really hard to let go.
It feels near impossible to shut up my mind and love myself when I get into those worry loops.
But the willingness and desire to move into a more self-loving, self-accepting space is the first step.
I wish I could have told my 10-year old self that.
I wish I could tell her, “This worry obsession doesn’t have to be part of your process forever…you may make ‘mistakes’ and people may do and say shit that hurts you or you feel like you hurt them. But you are lovable just the same. And it’s okay to not be perfect because no one is!”
If you too have struggled with some negative nellies in your head, you’ll love this month’s Mantra:
“I release negative self-talk now. I choose to radically accept myself.”
How to use it:
In quiet moments where you feel fears rising up in your chest, close your eyes, take a deep, cleansing breath and say the mantra above. Say it three times with deep feeling. Notice how you feel.
Will you play with this over the week and let me know how it goes? Hit reply or share a comment on the blog!
Remember, it’s never about perfection-that’s not the goal.
The goal is to stay open to a kinder, gentler space for yourself. That’s it. Okay?
ps: Have you picked up your copy of the best selling book, The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again? If not, check it out right here: https://dianadorell.com/shop/
What To Do When He Doesn’t Text Back [Texting Tips]
Q: Diana, I was seeing this guy for three dates. I thought things were going great, but he hasn’t responded to my last text and it’s been almost a week. I feel like I’m going crazy-what is going on? What can I do?
It’s super frustrating when you text someone you really like stops texting you back.
It’s very confusing and even the most confident person can get thrown by the abrupt lack of communication.
Here are texting tips to help you stay sane when he (or she) isn’t texting you back:
- Avoid making assumptions. Don’t assume it’s about you. There are all sorts of reasons why someone doesn’t text back. Maybe they didn’t see it. Maybe they saw it and forgot about it or thought they responded and didn’t. And yes, maybe they saw it and did not want to respond, for a number of reasons. You are not in control of whether or not he texts you, but you are in control of the stories you tell yourself about what’s happening.
- Redirect your energy. Do something else. Even if you keep thinking about it, redirecting your energy will create space for you to calm your nervous system and perhaps, for him to text you back!
- Accept it. No response is a response. Accept it. You don’t have to like it but the sooner you can accept that you may never get a response, the easier it will be to move on. Actions (and in action) speak volumes. Trust that if you are meant to connect, you will and if not, then the Universe is doing you a favor and it’s time to let go.
- Resist the temptation to put him down or text him repeatedly to get a reaction. This will not bring him closer-if anything it will most likely push him even further away.Those are the actions of a little girl throwing a tantrum. You are a Goddess! Instead, you can write him a letter and burn it or even leave yourself a voice memo of all the things you want to say to him. Let it out in a healthy way and honor how you feel.
Bonus tip:
If he does text back and you feel upset….The Goddess way is to respect yourself-and if he does resurface, it’s perfectly okay to express concern or confusion, or to choose to not respond at all. Each situation is different. Your intuition will guide you to the right thing to do, but first get yourself in an emotionally neutral space. Get grounded. Breathe. Then respond (if you choose to) vs react.
It’s not easy, but the more you can implement the tips above, the easier it will be to manage your emotions when someone doesn’t text you back. Stay strong!
ps: Would you like to get support with a specific relationship? Book an Intro to Coaching consult to connect with me here.