Happy Tuesday! When it comes to your closest relationships, do you feel like there’s a healthy give and take?
Are you always the one giving in for the sake of peace or do you feel safe to express yourself and voice your preferences?
When it comes to romantic relationships, especially in the beginning, a lot of my clients have shared that they feel this unspoken need to prove themselves and “be enough” for that other person.
You may feel pressure to do a lot of the activities that other person wants to do that you would never want to do on your own.
Or keep your mouth shut when something really bothers you.
All in the name of ‘keeping the peace’ and ensuring that the connection continues…
This can sometimes come from past relationships where the power dynamics and boundaries/expectations were unbalanced (or in some cases, never solidified).
In healthy dynamics, compromise is natural.
But when compromising comes at a cost to your personal energy, self-esteem and confidence. It can become toxic.
It’s time to take back your personal power!
In line with March’s theme of “personal power”, I’d love to share a mantra to help you feel more balanced in your relationships, especially if you have already identified that you have a tendency to hold back how you really feel and want to change that!
Here it is: “The only person I have to be enough for is myself. It is safe for me to express who I am and how I feel. How others respond to that is out of my control.”
When you remind yourself that it is safe to express who you are, you also give that other person unspoken permission to express who they are too, without all the pressure and filter of needing to be perfect.
You create space to have more connected, meaningful communication with the people you love, because you aren’t trying to prove yourself.
You already know you’re enough and that even if you have a different opinion than them, both of your opinions are valid.
That engenders self-respect which leads to others respecting you and who wouldn’t want to be around someone like that?
How to use it:
In quiet moments where you feel fears rising up in your chest, close your eyes, take a deep, cleansing breath and say the mantra above. Say it three times with deep feeling. Notice how you feel.
Will you play with this over the week and let me know how it goes? Drop a comment below!
PS: Have you picked up your copy of the best selling book, The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again? If not, check it out here: https://dianadorell.com/shop/