are you a recovering people pleaser? Soul Mantra inside!

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I don’t know about you, but I am a recovering worrier and people pleaser.

Making sure everyone else felt comfortable (even when I was depriving myself) was the norm.

A few examples from my life that may sound familiar to you:

*Agreeing to “volunteer” my time and energy after work hours without compensation even though it meant missing a date with a friend I hadn’t seen in forever…in the name of wanting to be seen as a “team player.”

*Staying in a one-sided friendship with a girlfriend who drained all my energy, calling me only to complain about her relationship problems, only to find that when the conversation turned to me and my stuff, she suddenly had to go. But ignoring her calls seemed “mean”

and now the funny one….

*Buying an extra box of Girl-Scout cookies, because I felt bad saying no to the little girl who asked me, even though I had set an intention to stop eating so much sugar.

The common denominator in each of the scenarios above was…me.

And the core of it all? 

I had a hard time setting healthy limits with my time, energy and resources for fear of 

:: not wanting to be judged

:: not wanting to rock the boat 

:: not wanting to be seen as weird, greedy or self-indulgent

and the list goes on.

Sound familiar?

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But here’s what I realized as I learned how to become a master manifestor and help others manifest too.

Tough Love Tip:

When you respect yourself and set healthy limits, you create a safe container for all that you desire to find you!

When we have a hard time setting limits with ourselves and others, it also diminishes our self-respect and our ability to draw in/magnetize the gifts that the Universe wants to bring you! 

So what happens?

:: You ask for less than what you want and you get (surprise!) nothing…. or a watered down version of it that doesn’t leave you satisfied or excited. 

:: You attract people who mirror your wounds. They validate how you feel about yourself-that your time, energy and resources aren’t worth much. 

:: You feel jipped, because even though you’re doing all the “right” things: journaling, exercising, meditating, etc, you feel exhausted or restless and think the Universe just doesn’t care about you! 

I know…I’ve been there!

Ready to stop it?

Here’s the first step.

People-Pleasing SOUL MANTRA:

Say this aloud to yourself in the mirror 2X/day with intention. Put your hand over your heart and stand up.

“I respect myself.

“It is safe for me to set healthy limits around my time and energy.

“I now create a safe container for my desires to find me! And so it is!”

The more you say it, the more you will start to believe it and you’ll be on your way to drawing in more of the types of people and situations that lift you up! Stay tuned next week for another tip on recovering from people-pleasing syndrome!

Now it’s YOUR turn.

Q: Have you ever been a people pleaser? 

What was one situation where you gave your power away or time away and what did you learn from the experience that made you a stronger person now? Share with us by leaving a comment here!

Want MORE?

Tune into my NEW Radio show “The Dancing Goddess Show” this Thursday, July 30th.

Details here:

the unconventional action I took that got me to NYC

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If you’ve been on here awhile, you may know that last year, I manifested one of my burning desires to live in Manhattan (NYC). The whole live sex-and-the-city fantasy mixed with nostalgia you can say. (my parents fell in love in the city and our family history goes way back there.)

And last year, I manifested it. From a beautiful place to live, to amazing new friends (literally within 48 hours of moving) to getting signed on a new Sirius XM podcast station at the Plaza hotel (while I was just messing around in flip flops and drinking a Bellini!) It was one of the most synchronistic, Divinely-ordered life experiences I have ever had. 

And today I want to share with you one step that helped me create this with the intent that it helps you manifest with more confidence.

Sound good?

Yay! So…I was living in Kansas City at the time and I was feeling super conflicted because well, I had to leave the man I loved to pursue this insistent dream that just wouldn’t go away. Even when I kept pushing it to the side, it kept coming up until one day I snapped.

Soul-based desires are like that. They just don’t care how much you try to lie to yourself because they see the real you.

I remember it vividly. I was at home and was suddenly struck with the feeling that I needed to paint. And I kept getting a specific visual of what to paint. My whole body was tingling and I grabbed some old newspaper, my watercolors and a blank canvas I had forgotten about, plopped down on the hardwood floor in our tiny living room and went to town.

Disclaimer: I hadn’t painted in years. But it’s like Spirit and the Angels were guiding my brushstroke.

As I furiously mixed the colors and filled the blank canvas, I started to cry. Uncontrollable, deep, gut-wrenching sobs. 

Keep painting, a quiet voice said.

So I did…a taxi, a skyscraper, even the damn Kodak billboard.

I was painting Times Square…. Goddess style.

Then I started laughing because the final stroke was of big black Old Hollywood-style sunglasses out the taxi cab. No face. Just the glasses and a hand.

It was so me.

And when the painting was done, the tingling didn’t stop.

It got stronger.

I said aloud, “I’m going to New York. I AM going to New York. I will tell him (bf) tonight. It’s happening.”

To make a long story short, I told him that night.

And within 3 weeks, I packed my bags and headed for the Big Apple.

Everything fell into place like magic and with a bucket of uncertainty about my relationship and a heavy dose of faith and optimism, I kissed him goodbye and boarded the plane.

Sometimes it takes Spirit literally taking our hand and helping us see in a very literal form like a painting what is important to our Soul’s journey.

Even when it scares us.

So, that’s my big secret.

I painted. 

But it was no ordinary painting.

I had Spirit in the driver’s’ seat and an unwavering intention and commitment to surrender to whatever was waiting for me on the other side. 

Now let’s take it to you.

  1. What’s something you’d like to manifest in the next 30 days? SHARE IT WITH US in the comments as social proof!

For the brave:

  1. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the highest, what would you say your level of commitment is to your manifestation? 
  2. If it’s less than 10, ask yourself why. What’s missing? What’s holding you back? Figure out why it’s not a burning desire because unless you want it bad enough, it can’t really come to you. Once you’ve solidified it, go to step 4.
  3. Paint. Dance. Write. Choose a creative activity and surrender it over to Spirit. See what happens! Follow the next right action!

Want more? 

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Tune into my BRAND NEW Radio Show “The Dancing Goddess Show” on BlogTalk for a mini-healing and intuitive insights! Premieres July 30 @5pm PST. Click here to follow the show!

The secret to work-life balance (it may surprise you!)

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Work-life balance.

Ahhh…that sounds so nice, doesn’t it?

Is it even possible?

What is something you can do to have more time for the things you love but do less stressing, overeating and worrying?

In this video, you will learn:

  • what stops the majority of people from ever feeling like they have time for the good stuff
  • a simple action step to long-term balance that most people don’t bother with (you’re not one of those people!)
  • of a real-life example of the principles in action from a woman who lost 50 lbs, increased her mental and emotional peace and is having her best business year ever!

After you watch, be sure to post your comment to this week’s Soul challenge below!

Q: This week, where will you implement a container to help you get on the balanced n’ happy train? Share with us! Consider it group accountability with the Universe helping you!

Want more? Go here to get weekly updates to help you ramp up your love life and rock your intuition!

3 steps to master the art of receiving more

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Want to increase the level of accuracy of your intuitive messages?

You’ve got to master the art of receiving!

But how do you actually you know…do that?

In this video you will learn:

  • The one belief that blocks you from being able to consistently receive messages and gifts from your intuition (and from life)
  • 3 steps anyone can follow to break the cycle that holds you back from manifesting big
  • A physical mudra (hand symbol) you can do to re-train your brain to receive more

After you watch, be sure to post a comment to this week’s question.

Q: What is one area of your life where you know you’d benefit from receiving fully? What could be different about your life if you were more open to receive?

Want more?

Sign up to get your free audio: The Top 5 Ways You Block Money, Love and Miracles From Coming into your Life (it’s not what you think!) Click right here

An easy script for getting your needs met (esp. with “difficult” people)

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Let’s face it.

People can be ehem…difficult sometimes.

Communication can get challenging especially if you tend to be the one to stuff your feelings until it gets really really unbearable and then you explode.

I used to be that type and it just never really worked, so I had to find a new way!

Whether it’s in the workplace with a boss or client, or in the home with a family member, girlfriend or lover, it’s important to feel like you’re getting your needs met in a healthy way. 

This builds self-confidence, self-respect and also opens you up to take creative risks because you trust yourself.

I’d like to share a 4-step process that my clients have used to express themselves successfully even when speaking with some of the most power-driven, type-A intimidating types.

#1 Pinpoint the issue or challenge in a simple way. 

Use “us/we” vs. “you” 

Example: In friendships…

“I noticed that it’s been difficult to find a time to us to connect, even when we set a time.”

#2 State what you need with little to no emotion

(prep work: actually write down what your needs are and what you’d like to see change. This focuses your energy so you take the emotion out of it when you have the conversation).

NOTE: Go for what you really really want/need vs. the bare minimum you’d settle for or you think you can get. This is important! You are important! It’s about being clear and directive with yourself vs defensive and reactive.

“I’d really love for us to speak at least once a month uninterrupted, even if it’s just for 15 minutes and make our friendship a priority, even though life gets crazy.”

#3 Re-direct it back to them: 

Ask, “What do you think?” 

This takes the energy loop back full circle and helps the person feel included in the decision or solution which is always a good thing! Often times, they may have additional information or suggestions that come out once you state your needs and what you want to see. 

“What do you think about that?” 

#4 Last step: Listen, take in what they say and together you’ll most likely find a simple solution that makes it a win: win for both parties involved!

With practice, this becomes second-nature and you’ll be one step closer to getting what you want, without manipulation or weirdness!

This week’s Soul question: Have you ever had to communicate something you needed to a person who was challenging you? What did you do and what worked? Share with us in the comments below!

credit: peek-photography.nyc

credit: peek-photography.nyc

ps: Want to become exceptional at communicating confidently in your relationships? Click here to book a private session where we will uncover your key blocks to communicating and I can help you put together the words that help you feel respected and loved!