Happy Tuesday Goddess!
Before we dive into today’s post, I just want to say Thank you to everyone for all the beautiful Birthday blessings, wishes and kind messages.
I feel so grateful and wanted to share some of the wisdom that came up in my birthday reflection this year that can help you with relationships and life.
3 Love Lessons (birthday reflections)
Lesson 1: Saying no from a space of genuine self-care is the greatest YES you can give to yourself (and others, even if you disappoint them first). I got invited to a karaoke night out with a few friends-I roped my husband to come out on a weekday and was so gun-ho about it…until the next day. I had had a sleepless night (my own fault: I had caffeine way too late the day before) and by 4pm, a few hours before we were meant to meet everyone, I knew it wasn’t happening. I tried-I rallied, but my body was screaming…noooooo. I let my friend know and I felt bad when she said she’d gotten me a birthday cake and everything (not expected, but super sweet). A part of me felt so guilty and wanted to just power through. But, I seriously didn’t have it in me. I had to disappoint them and stay home. So, I did. And the world didn’t fall apart and we are still friends.
Lesson 2: Leave room to be surprised! (aka, stop trying to control every dang thing!)
My husband made a dinner reservation to take me out Saturday-I could tell he was really concerned about me liking the place and instead of trying to control things and tell him exactly where I wanted to be taken to, I let him go through his own process to pick. He is amazing at picking delicious places to eat, knows me well and I totally trust him-and we had an amazing time! He took me to this 1930’s converted house downtown Phoenix in a super funky, cool area and the food was….delicious! Was I maybe slightly overdressed? Yep, but again, who cares? It was so awesome to be surprised and to receive. I realized all the places in my life where I could benefit from a little bit more, “let’s see what happens” and expect to be absolutely delighted instead of keeping a death grip on the details and outcome.
Lesson 3: Give yourself grace from the “shoulds”
I don’t know what it is about birthdays, but I have noticed, in the past, I’ve had a tendency to measure my life against the one I thought I “should” have by now. And I’d feel so bummed, depressed and generally crappy because most of the time, there was always some goal or benchmark that I felt I failed at or just didn’t even see as a tiny speck of possibility on the horizon. Cue Bridget Jones Diary and a large pizza. This year, there was none of that. Instead of “shoulding” all over myself, I gave myself some grace. I asked, “What are 3 highlights of this past year around the sun?” The first ones that came, I just let myself soak in, honor and fully remembered. I let my body feel the pride, or the joy, or even the delicious growth of the memory all over again. And that was it. No intense self-inquiry or judgement. Back to the present moment. I have shit to do, afterall!
That’s what I got for you this week, Goddess.
Apply the lessons to your own life if you wish-and if there’s one in particular that spoke to you more than the others, I’d love to hear about it!
Which one will you adopt this week? Lemme know and if you’re wanting an extra energy BOOST to make this last quarter of 2023 your absolute best, check out my Birthday Gold Treatment Bundle Special! It’s good until August 31 and you can use them anytime before the end of this glorious year!