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When you don’t know what you should do

Happy Tuesday! 

Today, we tackle a question from our Goddess community:

Q: What do you do when you are faced with decision that feels really hard? 

Maybe you know what you want to do but you’re scared of hurting the other person’s feelings or what it may mean.

Maybe you want to say yes but you’re scared of what you could lose in the process. 

Or something else that feels sticky and uncomfortable.

Here are three steps you can take to be in the best head-space before you make the final call: 

  1. Belly Breathe.

Seriously, it’s simple and we try to make it all complicated! 

Taking a few deep breaths filling up your belly like a balloon. This will still your mind and help you make a choice that feels right for you vs. an anxiety, adrenaline-induced one. 

     2. Ask yourself: 

*”Is this choice aligned with my values and am I being true to myself?” (That’s a quick yes or no. Stop over-thinking it!)

* If I wasn’t concerned about what anyone else thought, what would I want to do? 

*Does this choice make me feel expansive and more free? Write this down. 

      3. Take Action!

Often times, the thing we most need to do is also the most scary. Whenever we change a pattern our subconscious mind can go AWOL! “I don’t want to change! What if it doesn’t work out? It didn’t work last time. I am not ready. I am not good enough…lalalalala <white noise>”

When you feel EXPANSIVE, excited and yes, sometimes scared/nervous/mind throwing a temper tantrum about a choice, that’s a KILLER combination. 

Because it’s your truth. 

And everything holding you back from your truth is being shaken up and help up to the crazy fluorescent light for you to acknowledge and release. 

So you can start making decisions from a “calm, confident and clear space” that honor not just you but everyone involved. (notice I didn’t use the word mind…our most profound “problems” are rarely solved there)

The more you can practice taking a choice through the three steps above, the easier it may fee to get out of that indecision-land and feel grounded in where you’re going next. 

Q: What is a decision you’re super proud you made? What helped you make it? Share with us! 

ps: Are you ready to step into your power? It’s not to late to join us for 11 Days to Awaken Your Personals Power! 

For more, please visit: https://dianadorell.com/work-with-me/

If You’re Not Feeling Like His Priority-Check This

Happy Tuesday! 

This situation came up that I wanted to share with you because I have a feeling more of you may be experiencing some version of this.

Q: “He’s always texting me last minute to get together. When I share something that’s important to me, he changes the subject…or doesn’t reply at all. It makes me feel like crap and like I’m not important. This pattern has started trickling over to friends too. I feel like I’m always the one listening and dropping things to be there for them but it’s rarely reciprocated. What’s going on?”

A: We all want to feel special and lie we are a priority. 

One of the first things I ask a private client in my relationship practice is to have them write out their daily and weekly schedule.

So…although it may seem like I’m not answering the question, step one is to: 

#1: Look at your schedule. 

#2: What’s on there? 

Do it start by being reactivity to other people’s demands and desires of you? 

Or are you intentionally creating space to start your day in a way that priorities your self-care, metal health and physical well-being? 

If you’re like most of us, the first thing you do is grab your phone, check emails and scroll Instagram. 

Then, maybe you have breakfast after you answer that text. 

Or hopping on a Zoom call and bumping your Pilates class to the afternoon (which you never seem to make). 

Or listening to a friend drone on and on about the same guy issues that she never seems to take your advice on and you skip your morning meditation in the name of ‘being a good friend.’

It may seem insignificant, and these small choices over time become routines and habits. 

And when you routinely put yourself last and are in reaction to everything around you, work, kids, friends, lover, date, etc, you are never fully grounded. 

And essentially, you are saying that 1) you are okay not being a priority and 2) you are constantly at the mercy of your circumstances. 

Neither inspires a man (or a friend, or anyone) to put you first if you yourself won’t. 

I know this is a bit of a tough love reminder-it’s the to get real with yourself.

If you want to be the priority.

If you want to be cherished, adored and seen? 

Start by looking at your schedule and noticing where you can make some adjustments to your day so that you are positions yourself as the Queen you are. 

Examples: 

  • put your phone on silent or off until you’ve eaten breakfast 
  • set a reminder on your phone at the end of your day to review the most important tasks to get done the next day, focus on those 3 things first so you’re not spinning your wheels in the morning.
  • get up 30 min earlier and listen to a mediation or go for a walk.
  • have a set time when you will check and respond to messages (this one’s hard but if you’re checking and responding to everything as soon as it comes in, you are in reaction mode and even paring that down to 5-6 time a day can change your life!)
  • sign up for an exercise class and enlist a friend for extra accountability.
  • prep your food the night before.
  • pick out your outfit the night before. 

Q: What is one thing you can tweak to your schedule so that you are making yourself a priority?

The more you do this and stick with it, the more you will find other around you start treating you like one too! 

Ready to tap into your Personal Power? Join me for the new course, 11 Days to Awaken Your Personal Power starting on 11:11! Click here

For more, check out my book The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again for more stories and exercises of how you can trust your intuition and love yourself!

Drop the Mask + Go Deeper (Ask This Question)

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been watching Halloween-themed movies literally as soon as October 1st hit. 

Think Hocus Pocus (OMG-I want to be Sarah Sanderson! and Addams Family. 

My fiancé, Rob, has made it his personal mission to have me watch classics that I’ve never seen-example: I saw the original 1970 something Halloween with Jamie Lee Curtis…and I loved it and was completely freaked out after. 

He joyfully went on to share that there are like 7 more Halloween sequels. Hmmm, not sure I loved it that much???

Anyhow, it got me thinking about masks.

The ones we wear.

The ones we take off. 

And why we even feel like sometimes it’s just not safe to be the real us and ditch the masks. 

Especially when it comes to love, there’s nothing more refreshing than watching someone just let their guard down and be themselves.

Sometimes it’s revealing.

Other times it’s surprising.

But when you come right down to brass tacks, truth is powerful.

When someone shows you who they really are, in all their imperfect glory?

It’s beautiful. Refreshing. And you can almost feel the palpable sign for r-e-l-i-e-f.

And it gives you permission to show your true, imperfect self too.

Because only then can you find out if you have what it takes to go the distance. 

It takes way less energy to be yourself than to be any other watered down or distorted version.

Energy you could be using to develop a real connection and love with someone! 

But if you aren’t willing to drop the mask with yourself, how can you expect to forge that real deep connection that lasts with someone else?

So…here are some Soul questions you can answer to allow more of the real you to come out. 

Grab your journal and something yummy. 

It’s time to get real with yourself in the name of love.

Q: What I’m afraid people would see about me if they really got to know me is…

Q: If you really knew me, you see that…

Q: If I let people see the real me, the worst that could happen is…

Q: If I let people see the real me, the best that could happen is… 

Happy Halloween and happy Soul journaling!

Want to share one of your insights? Leave me a comment!

It’s Go Time

Maybe it’s the end of the month vibes, but I’m all fired up today as I write this to you.

It’s go time. 

At some point, you just have to decide. 

Decide you’re available for more. 

Decide that you’re done tolerating XYZ once and for all.

Decide that you are worthy. You are smart enough. You are deserving of a beautiful, fulfilling and nourishing life and relationship.

Do you hear me? 

No one else is going to decide that for you.

Sure, your friends may tell you how great you are. 

You may like Instagram memes that tell you you are fabulous.

But if  you don’t decide… like really really decide way deep down to only to be available for what it is you keep saying you want. 

Well… I’m calling your bluff. 

It will fall flat. 

You are just spinning your wheels.

It sounds good. 

You’re ‘making progress’.

But you could just skip all that BS and decide. 

So I ask you, the brave ones reading this…

When it comes to love: 

Q: What are you available for? 

Q: What are you not available for? 

Q: What are you deciding right now? 

Hit reply and tell me. 

Leave a comment.

Declare it Goddess! 

Sermon over.

Feel free to roam the cabins.