your april message…this one hit me over the head!

Happy Tuesday and welcome to a brand-new month!

April is all about welcoming love, fresh starts and embracing your power from a loving, clear space.

Ahhhh…..

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

Part of being able to welcoming in more love and starting fresh is listening to the messages coming from your intuition. But…

You know how sometimes you wish you didn’t hear an intuitive message?

Or have you ever gotten one that you know hits home…but you really really wish it didn’t?

If you’re into oracle card decks at all like me, you may have even had the experience of asking a question and pulling cards around it only to be like…um, no…I don’t want that card. Let me shuffle again…only to have the same darn card come up again! And again!

So you go for a walk or put on a show to try to distract yourself from the message you just received, only it’s still in the back of your brain like this annoying little tapping you can’t quite drown out.

Until you face the music and listen to what’s coming up past the discomfort of the delivery.

It’s those times when you wish you weren’t so intuitive, you wish you could just go back to being unconscious and blissfully ignorant to a Soul Truth that rocks your whole belief system or your world view. Yes, I’m being dramatic, but hey, depends on the message right?

So here’s one that I heard a few years ago that I didn’t listen to for a long. Ass. time.

And if I had listened to it it would have saved me so much time. Energy. Yes even money.

Can I share the story with you with the intent that it supports you in your own journey to love and self-love?

Once upon a time…

I was in a series of relationship after relationship, all ending around the same 1 year mark.

It was usually around that time, that I would start to seriously give my power away unconsciously and the belief that I uncovered after a lot of work and money was this:

If you are powerful, a man won’t love you. If you don’t need him to take care of you in every single way, a man will leave.

O.M.G!

It was so so deeply ingrained in my cells that inevitably around that time when the relationship would deepen, it’s like I became this shrinked version of myself.

I would start to sabotage any success in my business or career.

I emotionally ate and gained weight.

I stopped doing the activities that I loved like dancing and singing. In short, I became like Cinderella, but BEFORE she met the Prince.

Putting the man and his needs above my own. Overgiving from a place of fear that if I really let my power pop out, he wouldn’t be able to handle it…and I’d be left alone.

I treated my body poorly and engaged in sex when I didn’t really feel like it…or over-did it to compensate for the fact that it was the only area I felt I had some control over my life.

And the weird part was that the more I did these things…the more success would show up in the man’s life so he thought things were going awesome! He was literally getting all of my energy! And there was nothing left for me because I gave it all away.

As my friend Heather would say, “No bueno, girl!”

And I remember the moment the tough love intuition hit me.

I had just gone to San Diego to visit a man I was in a “complicated” relationship with (all on my dime of course, and on all of his terms…).

And I remember leaving his apartment after a passionate but emotionally confusing weekend when a very loud (but kind) voice said..

“It’s time to give up the Cinderella story. You never needed to be rescued. And this man or any man will never be able to love you the way you deserve if you keep giving your power away.”

W-h-o-a!

That one stopped me in my tracks. I started to cry immediately (which of course he didn’t even notice).

It took me three more weeks of ignoring that message until I finally had the courage to end the relationship and do the work I needed to do on myself to reclaim my energy and my power. I was on the road to recovery…and it felt damn good.

Here are 3 truths I realized. Take if you need.

Truth 1:: To receive true love at the Highest Level, you must love yourself and treat your body, mind and money with the utmost kindness, respect and grace.

Truth 2::  It is safe for you to be a powerful person. You can be in your power and be kind. Never confuse being in your power with being “mean, selfish, overbearing or unloving.” People may not like you in your power. That’s ok. Let them stand aside. They weren’t really authentic friends, partners, etc if they can only be around you when you shrink.

Truth 3:: There is a difference than being in a co-dependent relationship and in an inter-dependent one. The first comes from a total giving away of your power and choices and will diminish you. The second says, “You are powerful and capable and worthy of love. I am powerful and capable and worthy of love.”

Which one of the 3 Truths resonate with you the most this week?

Leave a comment and share with us! There is power in community.

And before you dash, let me ask you this:

Are you ready to feel more powerful and receive true love?

Are you ready to move out of co-dependency, set healthy boundaries and feel amazing and happy?

My good friend and founder of Hair Chair Confessions, Karen Stevenson is hosting a free series to help you have more self-love and self-respect and I am honored to be one of her featured speakers along with my dear friend Marcy Neumann and other relationship experts on self love and codependency.

Want to join us?! We are going to make this heavy topic FUN and I’d love, love, love to have you be a part of it with me!

Sign up here

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Have a blessed week!

Love,

Diana

And remember…everything awesome happens on the other side of letting go of your Cinderella story…at least the rescuing part 😉

i was in prison

I remember gazing up at a sterile white wall.

I was in one of those flimsy hospital gowns and my heart was beating so fast.

I remember taking a heavy, labored breath and tears streamed down my face. That was the moment.

The moment I realized that I had been in prison.

Not actual prison, but a prison of my mind.

I was in the ER in Oakland and had no idea how I ended up there.

All I remembered was feeling dizzy and worried about one of the 10,000 things I had on my plate that day.

I had five jobs I was juggling, a relationship that was quickly unraveling and I honestly had to remind myself to eat my schedule was that crazy.

I call it pre-Angel awakening era.

The prison I was in is what many of us can fall into.

It is the prison of believing that your worth is only as good as what you “produce” or “do.”

I didn’t feel worthy of slowing down. Or taking a real mental or physical break. If I wasn’t doing something for someone, who was I?

Have you ever been in that place?

When you are there, your body talks to you, but you rarely listen.

And because everything in your life is connected, it wasn’t a shocker that I ended up in the ER where all they could say was I was “in a high state of stress” and in my relationship at the time, I constantly felt like I wasn’t good enough, so I overgave and was guided primarily by my insecurities…never a recipe for a loving, healthy partnership.

So, my body woke me up to the Truth of the lie I’d been buying into.

And a voice whispered…”you are enough, Diana..just as you are. There’s nothing you need to do to prove that to anyone. It’s ok to be still a bit.”

Everything that came after that day at the ER was part of what I now see as a spiritual awakening…a commitment to be more conscious and gentle with myself. To know that I am a work in progress and that perfection is an illusion.

What freed me from the prison is one word that packs a punch.

That word is permission.

And if you are desiring more love in your life and it has felt MIA, consider that it could be a great time to give yourself permission…..

Permission to release from that internal prison now….

When we judge ourselves and our worth based on our productivity, we are at the mercy of an invisible slave master.

You can’t be fully in the moment because your thoughts are one step ahead wondering and analyzing what you should or could do more of.

And newsflash: If you aren’t fully in the moment, it’s going to be way harder to hear the subtle messages from your intuition or to take the steps that would allow you to attract love into your life.

So….

The Permission Challenge: Will you take this journey with me this week?

So starting right now I’m giving myself permission to not bang out 11 tips to xyz from my head and I trade it in for real, raw and potent Truth from my Soul. ps: That is your Soul Love nugget for this week too.

Where do you need to give yourself permission?

And

Are you willing to give yourself permission?

All sorts of cool shit happens when we give ourselves permission…it feels like this secret guilty pleasure, but really, giving yourself permission is about letting of self-judgement.

And when we do that, we also find that people tend to judge us less or said another way, we feel more generally accepted because well…we accept ourselves.

So, I made a “I give you permission” list for myself.

Here are three things on it.

:: I give myself permission to respond to messages only after checking in to see that I’ve nourished myself first (hydrated, fed myself, am calm, etc). I release internal pressure to respond right away…ahhh!

:: I give myself permission to say no when I get a request that will “just take a few minutes of my time.” My time is a non-renewable resource, so instead of doing the polite…maybe a little later, I’m just going for the Truth: thanks, but no thanks. No explanation needed.

:: I give myself permission to have daily space-out time in nature, even if that means me staring out my window at a tree. A screensaver of a tree doesn’t cut it.

Now over to you.

Q: What is one thing you will give yourself permission for this week?

Hit reply and tell me!

I get a lot of email so while I can’t promise a response, I do promise to read it.

Ps: Are you getting the nudge that you would like more personalized support on how to tame your monkey mind and let go of all the crap that’s been holding you back from having a great life and relationship? Click here to schedule a consult with me + let’s talk. I want to hear your goals and also see if I’m the best person to partner with you at this time. No obligation, but if you are feeling that consistent knowing that something’s gotta change, I’d love to support you.

 

do you struggle with overwhelm? i’m spilling my top secret strategy! shhhh…

Have you ever felt like your life is running you instead of you running your life?

Emphasis on the word ‘running.’

You know, the days where you’re running late to yet another appointment.

With a To-Do List miles long that seems to be winning.

And when you DO have 5 minutes to actually glance at it, the thought of tackling it or focusing feels too exhausting.

And then you start to beat yourself up.

And feel overwhelmed, frustrated and like hiding under the covers and turning off your cell ringer.

And did I mention it’s only 12noon?

It’s hard to feel happy, adored and free if you are caught up in what I call being a regular visitor on the the playing catch-up, indecision island experience.

And it’s even harder to hear your own intuition or recognize its signals when you are scattered.

If this sounds like you, do yourself a favor and watch this short (less than 5 minute) video. (made especially for YOU!)

I hear you and I’ve been there. It sucks. It’s exhausting and it’s soul-sucking. But the great news?

It’s temporary. You just need to learn how to re-focus when life takes over!

This week’s LOVE video is designed to help you do just that!

Here’s what you’re going to learn in this video:

  • How to stop treading water (and wasting time) on “to-do’s” that suck your energy
  • My Top Secret-no-more, Unconventional 3 minute strategy to knowing exactly where to focus first (it involves calling in a Goddess!)
  • How to stop feeling distracted when life around you gets CRAAZZZYYY

 

 

This week’s Soul Love Q: What is your favorite tip to combat overwhelm and lack of focus? Share with us in the comments below!

Want to work with me for FREE? Sign up for Soul Mate: A 5-day e-course to attract love and feel happy, adored and free!

3 steps to cure comparing-itis

It starts off innocently.

You’re in a great mood-feeling pretty good about your day.

You go to your computer and log into Facebook.

Or Gmail.

You’re sifting through, humming along and and you see it.

“Just engaged-I said YES!”

“I just crossed $50k/month in my online business!”

“Dear (you), OMG, I am finally doing it! I quit my job and just booked my dream vacation to Paris-paid speaking gig and they are covering it!”

And your energy drops.

Your mind starts to ping pong and race.

You feel anxious.

You’ve just stepped into comparison-itis land!

Here are 3 simple (and spiritual) steps you can take when you find yourself in comparison-itis land, especially around relationships.

Watch here:

 

This week’s Soul Love Q: Have you ever struggled from comparison-itis? What did you do? Share with us!

 

Ps: Want to attract L-O-V-E and get free weekly updates? Click here and I will send you the 5-day ecourse (totally free!) to help you attract love and feel happy, adored and free!

are you in a toxic friendship? 5 signs to know for sure

When a romantic relationship ends, it can be heart-breaking, but when you are questioning a friendship that has been in your life for much longer, it can bring up a lot inside because well, there is a lot at stake.

Some friendships simply fizzle over the course of time, but then there are other ones that may teeter on the edge of unhealthy but for whatever reason, you’re afraid to cut them loose.

Am I just being too needy?

Am I expecting too much?

Am I just freaking out about nothing?

These are some of the questions that can run through your head and it can be really hard to sift through those thoughts and determine whether you’ve just hit a bump in the road or it’s a friendship turned toxic.

Here are 5 signs to know for sure. Read each of them and pay attention to your body’s first response. If you have a particular reaction, take note!

5 signs you’re in a toxic friendship

  • You feel worse about yourself or physically drained or “off” within the first 5 minutes of them leaving your space or you leaving theirs.
  • You hide parts of yourself because you know you will be judged.
  • You have shared something intimate with them that you asked to be kept in confidence and they betrayed that trust
  • You only hear from them when there’s something catastrophic or dramatic going on in their lives (with you in the starring role as unpaid therapist).
  • You only hang out with them because you are worried that if you break up with them, they will feel so terrible (putting their needs above your own)

What next?

Once you’ve assessed your friendship, the next step is to consider how you want to address it.

If you’ve determined you have a toxic friendship, one option is to distance yourself from that person. Another is to have a conversation with them and set some boundaries or in some cases, have the “friend breakup” talk.

Need help with knowing what to say? Check out one of my most popular posts: 4 Steps to Having an Uncomfortable Conversation

The bottom line is this: We teach the people in our lives how to treat us. The more you can spot red flags early on, the more space you create in your life for awesome friends who treat you right!

Your turn: Have you ever been in a toxic friendship? What did you do to come out of it or what is one thing you learned about yourself through that? Share with us in the comments (down below and to the right!)

Want more?

Click here to sign up for free weekly updates and get a free gift on me to help you trust and love yourself!


New Moon Reading Special (until February 1)

What does this New Moon mean for YOU?
New Moons are a time of birthing new conditions, re-setting your foundations for lasting success in 2017 and re-aligning spiritually.
When you mix your unique energies with the energies of the planet, it is easier to call in what your Soul wants with grace and ease.
And the Angels can help you find peace in your heart around the issues that arise during this powerful time. So you can let go of what’s held you back, see the lesson and begin to heal. I know how easy it is to feel alone or scared during this time, like things aren’t going to get better or how easy it is to get stuck in worry, wondering what’s coming up or why stuff is happening!
One of my greatest pleasures and Purposes is to help amazing Lightworkers like YOU to tune into the natural cycles of your journey, help you pin-point the possible roadblocks and to help you use the energies that are coming up to help you move forward courageously!
And so until 6pm Pacific February 1, I’m offering a special email reading/healing combo to support you during the New Moon shifts!
Click here to book yours! I’m excited to connect with you.