do you self-sabotage? here’s how to stop. asap.

It’s no secret that when you aren’t creating what you want in your life, particularly in relationships, it’s very likely that self-sabotage may be part of the puzzle.

We’ve all done it.

example: You say you are going to go off carbs for ten days, only to find yourself driving your ass to In and Out Burger after the fifth day and getting the fries, bread and the whole sha-bang.

example: You are a coach and you’ve created your first program. You’ve written authentic, juicy copy that makes you smile everyday you read it, you know it will change lives and you put it on your website ……and tell no one about it.  And wonder why no one has signed up.

example: You are very clear that you want to be in a long-term, committed, sexy relationship…but you are still having sex with your ex because no one else has showed up and you’ve come up a hundred reasons why you shouldn’t message back any guys on OkCupid.

No shame sister.

All three of the examples above are mine from various points in my Goddess life.

But if you’re done with the self-sabotage game, like really really done with it, and you are ready to manifest what you keep saying you want, there are 2 questions you must ask and answer honestly if you’re ever going to change the pattern.

Ready?

Hold your breath and count to ten.

Just kidding.

Here it is.

The Two Questions

Q1: What are the payoffs/perks/benefits you get from continuing to believe X story, X situation or thinking X thought?

Q2: What are you afraid will happen if you actually GET/HAVE/MANIFEST X desire?

When I first did this exercise years ago, I thought it was crazy.

How could there be any benefits to staying where I was? And the second question?

I was a kick-ass independent, courageous Goddess. I wasn’t afraid of change…or was I?

But when I let my logical mind stay open, and I relaxed my body, I asked again.

Nothing happened. I got super annoyed.

And then I asked again. My shoulders dropped. Progress.

And then again.

And finally, I started to get stuff to write down.

What came out, again just to give you an example using #3 was the following:

The Breakthrough

By continuing to engage with my ex, the pay-offs included: physical pleasure, attention and familiarity. It was comfortable.

When I asked myself what I was afraid would happen if I actually did stop seeing him and put myself out there again….and manifested a loving, long-term partnership with someone new, here’s what came up. Some of them were completely irrational but most of the time, fears are!

-I was afraid of them thinking I was strange for doing psychic/intuitive work, fearing they would try and make me get a regular job.

-I was afraid it wouldn’t work out and then I’d feel like a loser, having another failed relationship

-I was afraid my business would suffer if I gave it my all in love.

And on and on it went. I think I wrote a full page of fears.

No wonder I was subconsciously invested in staying single and comfortable with a casual relationship with an ex!

Who wants to experience all of that?

But once I saw them for what they were-subconscious fears and stories that I was choosing to subscribe to, I felt free.

Perfect? Heck no.

Completely unafraid and unstoppable?

No.

The most important piece.

But I had something more important than all of that.

A new awareness.

And with awareness, you start to change everything.

One day at a time.

With practice and a combo of spiritual and practical tools in your arsenal, you can make adjustments when you feel the fears creep up….before they start to run the show.

And you can actually hear the voice of your intuition instead of a fear-based subconscious voice that tries to trick you into believing a story that isn’t even real!

This is exactly what I teach in my upcoming virtual group program, Intuition Boot Camp (formerly called Intuition 101): 5 weeks to master the art of decision-making to boost your confidence, come back into balance and free your monkey mind! We start March 1….click here to get on the priority notification list so you’ll be the first to know when registration doors open! (super soon!!) 

Now over to you.10363775_10202795961518938_2428182819912217634_n

This week’s Soul question: Do you have a pattern you’re ready to change? Ask yourself either or both of the questions above and if you’re feeling brave, leave a comment on this blog so we can support you!

Not on the newsletter? Join for *free* and I’ll send you a free audio mp.3 to help you jumpstart your manifesting abilities, especially in love!

what’s your personal year vibration? find out inside!

How to Calculate Your Personal Year Number in 2016 and why that’s important!

You are a unique Soul and each year, there is a specific theme or vibration to help you tap into the lessons you came here to learn. I call it your Personal Year Number.

While the Universal energy of 2016 is a “9” (2+0+1+6=9) and that will definitely play a role in how you experience your year, think of it as an overcoat, with your Personal Year Vibration being your undies, the things you wear everyday 🙂

It’s super easy and fun!

Step 1: Add your day of birth and month of birth together.

Example: If your birthday is January 1, it would be 1+1=2

Step 2: Add the number above to the current 2016 year (9) and reduce to a single digit

Example: 2+9=11 1+1=2. Personal Year of 2.

Step 3: Voila! You know your Personal Year Number.

What it all means: What are Your Personal Year Themes?

If your Personal Year Number is a….

1-A great year to dive into a new adventure, blaze a new trail, go at it alone and stop waiting for other people to get on board with a great idea you have before you start. In short, it is a year “all about you” and that’s okay! Key words: risk-taking, adventure and trusting yourself

2-A year of partnership, learning how to work in a team, even if that team is calling on Spirit more. It’s a gentle vibration and your key words: “compassion, seeing two sides of the story and putting relationships first

3-A year of creativity, learning how to take your multiple passions and have fun! Your social calendar may be full this year, so it will be important for you to check in with yourself and only say yes to the invites that light you up! You may want to look into a creative class or new hobby…or just change your hair. Key words: Beauty, creativity, joy

4-A year of hard work, setting structures in place that will create a strong foundation for a successful and secure year. A chance to tear everything down and re-build it again based on who you are now vs. who you were. Financial education, investments and tackling inner beliefs around worthiness is par for the course. Key words: structure, getting a schedule, managing your money and time

5-A year of travel, change and communication. Anything goes in this year and it may feel like things change on a dime, but know that it’s all in your favor, even when it seems irritating. A great year to put yourself out there speaking, writing, traveling and designing something new. Key words: movement, change and communication in all forms

6-A year of birthing something, getting situated on the homefront and dealing with family dynamics. This energy is also about tapping into your creative gifts and if you’ve been wanting to start a side business or build a new business with you as the boss, it’s a great year to do that and voice your needs!

Key words: children/creating, family/home, and putting yourself first so you can take care of others (the whole “keep momma happy-then everyone’s happy” is perfect. Even the number looks like a pregnant woman holding her baby!)

7-A year of spirituality, learning about who you are in the world and going within. You may feel like being alone way more than you normally do and that’s okay! The 7 vibration is about cultivating your inner power and intuitive gifts and it’s hard to do that when you’re always around people, so take the time to carve out sacred silence. Keep a journal nearby as you may get some of your most powerful ideas that you’ll integrate later! Key words: meditation/silence, spiritual nourishment and heightened intuition.

8- A year of expansion, stepping into your inner CEO and tearing down old beliefs that kept you from the life you really really desire but haven’t lived yet because of fears, especially around money, havingness and deserving of the “good life” (however you define that). A great year for building or expanding a business or career path and building a team around you, even if that team includes a stronger partnership with your spouse or close friends. You are not alone!

Key words: infinite possibility, financial and personal success, taking your dreams seriously.

9-A year of completion, karmic rewards and lessons and knowledge. This is the year where you may feel guided to learn about other cultures or think outside the box in all areas of your life. You want to do it your way and you may question authority or anyone who calls himself an “expert.” A great year for teaching and sharing the wisdom you’ve gained. Key words: teaching, creating your own philosophy and new belief system, acceptance.

Over to you: What’s your personal year number? What is one thing you are excited to create for yourself in 2016? Share it with me by clicking the “Leave a Comment” button below and let’s start the energy moving!

All my love,

credit: peek-photography.nyc

credit: peek-photography.nyc

Diana

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Ready for a big leap? 3 steps to get you movin!

unnamedI was talking with a client the other day about feeling like she’d outgrown the skin she’d been living in.

It was as if her new self was dying to emerge but the old self kept trying to rein her back in, with repeating old ways of reacting to the people around her, feeling less than and not using her voice to speak up for herself!

She was sooooo ready to graduate from that.

And the metaphor that came up was a pot.

The pot is your creative expression, your true essence, the breeding ground for you to bloom and be the person you came here to be.

To give you an example, in my kitchen, I have a little basil plant.

I’ve been pretty lazy about moving it to a real pot, so it’s been sitting in that little plastic container it came in from Trader Joes.

I water it.

I talk to it when I remember to.

I do all the things you’re supposed to do with plants.

But it’s getting rather big for its pot.

It reminds me every week of this fact but I haven’t done it yet.

It’s died nearly ten times but it’s hung in there, as if to say, “Diana, can’t you see I need to move outta here?!”

I’m transferring it to its bigger pot today. And I know it will be happy.

It’s the same thing with a certain area or areas in your life.

Why we hold ourselves back:

We know we’ve graduated or outgrown a certain way of be-ing but the future seems uncertain. New soil seems scary.

We know the old soil.

Even if it’s moldy, crusty and dries up two seconds after you water it.

And what the heck are we going to do with all that extra space?!

Better to stay put where you know what’s expected of you.

You know what to expect.

But it’s getting uncomfortable in that little pot.

You’re a bit restless.

And you look across at the bigger pot in your mind and it seems so far away, even though it’s not.

What it takes: 3 steps

Whether it’s a relationship that’s gone stale and past repair, a job you hate that you’re just in because it pays you well, or a way of thinking that is just well….not something you’re proud to BE anymore, the first step is to

:: give yourself permission to want out.

You’d be surprised how much we can hem and haw, dancing around growth and making changes because it’s easier to do that than actually say that you want something different.

How dare you? Your subconscious may shout! It’s okay. Just ignore that voice. It just wants to protect you but it’s not helping your cause.

:: identify what’s on the other side of the pot.

What does a bigger pot or version of yourself or your life area look like? What would you be doing? Who would you be doing it with? What do you feel like in that new pot? You may even bust out the paintbrush or journal and start giving it some life. To make significant changes like skipping into a different pot, you’ve got to give your subconscious something positive to latch onto!

:: take a baby step today

What’s one thing you could do to move you closer to the bigger pot? Maybe it’s to try on speaking up for yourself instead of being quiet the next time you feel a boundary has been crossed. Even if you feel like you’re going to die or hurt someone’s feelings. Maybe it’s to pick up the phone and apologize. Or write that email you’ve been putting off. Change comes with action.

Is being in a bigger pot scary?

It can be.

But it can also be super exciting because the sooner you step into who you really are, the less likely you are to give in to fears that stop you in your tracks.

The more people will respect you because you respect yourself.

And the better you’ll feel about yourself because nothing says confidence like hoppin out of the small pot.

You’ve got this Goddess!

For more free goodies, check out my free training: Top 5 Most Common Blocks to Attracting More Love, Money and Miracles than you know what to do with (and how to avoid them!) here:

http://dianadorell.com/free-training-top-5-common-ways-you-block-money-love-and-miracles-from-coming-into-your-life-its-not-what-you-think/

Are you feeling exhausted, emotional or empty? open up!

I spent a good part of Saturday in my bed cocooning with books, staring into space, and writing in my journal. Oh..and eating.

And giving myself permission to do so.

It’s not always easy.

Our logical mind says, “You should be doing something more productive!”

Screw that.

Productivity comes from a peaceful center. And sometimes that requires a slow-down or a stop. Click here to Tweet that.

It’s the Goddess way.

It’s not all about driving or pushing yourself hard.

And if you’re feeling depleted in any way, it’s a good sign that you’ve ignored your feminine energy.

Feminine energy goes inward and its symbol is a spiral.

If you look at a spiral, it feels like you’re just going around and around or nowhere but nothing could be further from the truth.

You gather layer upon layer of information and energy and retreat into a space in the center or the top (depending on how you draw it!) to sort it all out and see what’s there waiting for you.

Very different than pushing and shoving your way to the top, worrying about what everyone else is doing or if you got their first? (distorted masculine energy that our society loooves so much!)

Free Goodie for you.but first, will you Stop Doing it All Yourself?

One of the Goddess principles I teach my clients (male or female!) is to encourage them to stop doing it all alone and to notice what arises in their body when they think about that.

Sometimes it feels really really hard to ask for help or to just notice that two heads really can be better than one!

And so, to walk my own talk, I’ve asked my good friend, Mary Susan Gala, The Feminine Wisdom Genie, to teach us this week!

I interviewed her last week on my show and she shared an exercise with us to help you tap into your 2nd chakra (where we store a lot of shame and stories around receiving!)

#1 Listen to the Radio Interview

She’s helped so many women with their life challenges and have witnessed personal

transformations.

Click here!

 

in a transition? call on this ArchAngel!

Happy Tuesday!

Have you been feeling the energy shifts?

Feeling things come to a halt, or a slow crawl and feeling like you’re spinning your wheels?

If so, you’re not alone.

But it’s also a time of incredible transformation-coming on Thursday, you may start to be pulled into yourself.

What it can look like:

  • wanting to be alone more, isolating yourself to regroup
  • being extra sensitive to what people say (or don’t say…reading between the lines and the silence)
  • going back to the drawing board on something near and dear to your heart or re-working your original plan so it fits with who you are now.
  • thinking about old relationships (friendships, lovers, old clients, etc) and re-connecting or finding another layer you need to heal to move on for good

If you’ve been hanging out in my world for a bit, you know how much I love Angels.

I call on them for everything and it’s so easy to forget that you don’t have to do it all yourself!

If you’re going through any kind of a life or professional transition right now, there is an Archangel that you can call on to help you through it.

His name is Azrael.

Check out this short video about him + how you can call on him to help you navigate tricky emotional waters during a transition + rock your shift!

PS: I’ve been asked if I am still doing Angel readings and the answer is yes! The Angels are always a part of my work with my clients and one of my absolute favorite things is to tune into the Angels around you and channel specific messages to help you move forward and trust that you’re on the right path. They are also a huge part of the energy work that I do with clients to help you release blocks that are keeping you stuck in love and life. If you feel guided to get some clarity, I’d love to be of assistance!

Click here to book a reading or energy healing session.