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Birthday Reflections

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Happy Tuesday Goddess!

Before we dive into today’s post, I just want to say Thank you to everyone for all the beautiful Birthday blessings, wishes and kind messages.

I feel so grateful and wanted to share some of the wisdom that came up in my birthday reflection this year that can help you with relationships and life.

3 Love Lessons (birthday reflections)

Lesson 1: Saying no from a space of genuine self-care is the greatest YES you can give to yourself (and others, even if you disappoint them first). I got invited to a karaoke night out with a few friends-I roped my husband to come out on a weekday and was so gun-ho about it…until the next day. I had had a sleepless night (my own fault: I had caffeine way too late the day before) and by 4pm, a few hours before we were meant to meet everyone, I knew it wasn’t happening. I tried-I rallied, but my body was screaming…noooooo. I let my friend know and I felt bad when she said she’d gotten me a birthday cake and everything (not expected, but super sweet). A part of me felt so guilty and wanted to just power through. But, I seriously didn’t have it in me. I had to disappoint them and stay home. So, I did. And the world didn’t fall apart and we are still friends.

Lesson 2: Leave room to be surprised! (aka, stop trying to control every dang thing!)
My husband made a dinner reservation to take me out Saturday-I could tell he was really concerned about me liking the place and instead of trying to control things and tell him exactly where I wanted to be taken to, I let him go through his own process to pick. He is amazing at picking delicious places to eat, knows me well and I totally trust him-and we had an amazing time! He took me to this 1930’s converted house downtown Phoenix in a super funky, cool area and the food was….delicious! Was I maybe slightly overdressed? Yep, but again, who cares? It was so awesome to be surprised and to receive. I realized all the places in my life where I could benefit from a little bit more, “let’s see what happens” and expect to be absolutely delighted instead of keeping a death grip on the details and outcome.

Lesson 3: Give yourself grace from the “shoulds”
I don’t know what it is about birthdays, but I have noticed, in the past, I’ve had a tendency to measure my life against the one I thought I “should” have by now. And I’d feel so bummed, depressed and generally crappy because most of the time, there was always some goal or benchmark that I felt I failed at or just didn’t even see as a tiny speck of possibility on the horizon. Cue Bridget Jones Diary and a large pizza. This year, there was none of that. Instead of “shoulding” all over myself, I gave myself some grace. I asked, “What are 3 highlights of this past year around the sun?” The first ones that came, I just let myself soak in, honor and fully remembered. I let my body feel the pride, or the joy, or even the delicious growth of the memory all over again. And that was it. No intense self-inquiry or judgement. Back to the present moment. I have shit to do, afterall!

That’s it!

That’s what I got for you this week, Goddess.

Apply the lessons to your own life if you wish-and if there’s one in particular that spoke to you more than the others, I’d love to hear about it!

Which one will you adopt this week? Lemme know and if you’re wanting an extra energy BOOST to make this last quarter of 2023 your absolute best, check out my Birthday Gold Treatment Bundle Special! It’s good until August 31 and you can use them anytime before the end of this glorious year!

Can You Radically Accept Yourself?

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Happy Tuesday!

In honor of July’s theme of radical self-acceptance, are you willing to let go of the negative chatter in your head?

I have had a tendency in the past to worry about everything-what could go wrong, what I may have done wrong or not good enough.

My dad would often find me as a little girl in my room obsessing for days about how I phrased something to a friend, what a teacher said, what I did or didn’t do.

At some point, he just laughed and said something to the effect of, “I guess that’s just what you do-worrying is just part of your process.”

The truth is, sometimes it feels really hard to let go.

It feels near impossible to shut up my mind and love myself when I get into those worry loops.

But the willingness and desire to move into a more self-loving, self-accepting space is the first step.

I wish I could have told my 10-year old self that.

I wish I could tell her, “This worry obsession doesn’t have to be part of your process forever…you may make ‘mistakes’ and people may do and say shit that hurts you or you feel like you hurt them. But you are lovable just the same. And it’s okay to not be perfect because no one is!”

If you too have struggled with some negative nellies in your head, you’ll love this month’s Mantra:

“I release negative self-talk now. I choose to radically accept myself.”

How to use it:
In quiet moments where you feel fears rising up in your chest, close your eyes, take a deep, cleansing breath and say the mantra above. Say it three times with deep feeling. Notice how you feel.

Will you play with this over the week and let me know how it goes? Hit reply or share a comment on the blog!

Remember, it’s never about perfection-that’s not the goal.

The goal is to stay open to a kinder, gentler space for yourself. That’s it. Okay?

ps: Have you picked up your copy of the best selling book, The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again? If not, check it out right here: https://dianadorell.com/shop/

Diana wearing a salmon shirt, taken 2022

If You Struggle With The Whole Feminine/Masculine Energy Thing (Real Talk!)

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Happy Tuesday! 

Truth: I used to be so confused by what it meant to be in your healthy feminine or healthy masculine energy.

All the material I was learning through the hard-knocks of dating and life taught me that I had no real clue how to operate in either healthy version fully.

Tried as I might, I felt like I was posturing, faking it and the whole thing just felt like some contrived way to manipulate prospective dates and the Universe to give me what I wanted, let alone if that thing was good for me. 

I set about to find my own expression of feminine/masculine even f it took longer than ‘5 simple steps to…”

It wasn’t until I began learning how to trust my intuition and consciously slowing down to listen to what my inner knowing and body was trying to tell me that this whole concept of masculine/feminine began to be more clear.

In a nutshell…

When I listened and received/captured messages and nudges from my intuition, I was in my version of healthy feminine.

When I acted upon the guidance my intuition was sharing and I knew I was sage to do so, I was in my version of healthy masculine. 

Here are a few things that have helped me to trust my intuition and a few that private clients have graciously shared too.

  1. Committing to the page…aka journaling.
    • I started journaling everyday and showing up to the page first thing, even when all I would scribble was “I have nothing to say. This is silly…” The more I made it a non-negotiable, I found that insights came, downloads for a lot, if not all, of the classes and speeches I would eventually share with audiences came out easily and I found that my nervous system was calmer throughout the day. 
  2. Drawing and doodling (especially great for those harder to understand emotions).
    • I have several clients who are professional artists and one shared that for her, what helped her to trust and relax into her true feminine, was ‘allowing all the pesky, hard, inconvenient emotions’ to express themselves on canvas or in a doodle. Music optional and you don’t have to be Picasso or spend a ton of money on supplies. A good ole’ fashioned pen and paper will do. Set a timer and pose the question-okay, emotions, what would you like to share? Then let your hand guide you around. Even if it’s just a few minutes. Notice what comes. 
  3. Let’s see what happens!
    • This one is more of a mindset. It can help you build the muscles needed for the inner masculine to feel safe to take action on your behalf. The more our inner masculine feels safe, the easier it is for other to also want to support us. So, the next time you get a nudge to do something, instead of shutting yourself down, consider saying aloud, “Let’s see what happens!” without any attachment to the outcome. Then, go take one simple action you’re feeling guided to. take, wit the acceptance and permission that it may not go anywhere, but you’re simply following your own flow. 

So there you have it! 

3 practices you can play with to start to trust your intuition and meet your own authentic Feminine and Masculine! 

Q: Which one will you play with this week? Leave a comment and share! 

PS: If you’d like to really sharpen your intuition and take it to the next level, check out the course, Bullet Proof Intuition! 

You can have a go at your own pace and I share the exercises I do often to help me stay on top of my own intuitive game.