No, this is not some subtle attempt at S+M (hee hee). I mean, I guess you can see it like that…maybe I should explain.
A few weeks ago I went to a women’s leadership training conference on a ship in San Diego. I had no idea what to expect so when, I was told that during one exercise we were basically getting into groups of 5-7 and the other ladies had to completely bound my body with rope and put duct tape over my mouth, I was like…wtf did I sign up for????
It was symbolic of course of Wonder Woman’s story and how in all the comics, she is shown tied up but her golden cuffs represent her breaking free from the patriarchy and living life on her own terms, etc.
Anyhow, this could go on forever, but let me try to get to the point 🙂
Before the exercise, we shared one belief that we feel ashamed of or scared of and the ladies got assigned to me either 1) the perpetrators (tying me up and saying things to validate the belief like…”you’ll never amount to anything..”) 2) the enablers rescuers (saying things like “I’ll just do it for you…you don’t have to do that scary thing. It’s okay!”) and 3) the “victim” (woman tied up-me).
We were to listen to all of the voices and when we got to a point where we couldn’t take it anymore, we were to wriggle out of the rope and take the tape off ourselves and yell back what the Truth actually was-“I am powerful. I can do whatever XYZ. I’m no longer going to let you stop me..” You get it, right?
It was really, really powerful and the biggest take-away was how we let that old crappy thing we are ashamed of run our entire decision-making process in love…and certainly what we believe is possible in love.
So, for this week, I offer you a few journal questions to sink deeper into if you feel called:
1) What is one belief/fear/experience that you carry shame around? Write this down or say it aloud to yourself.
2) What role do you tend to fall into in your relationships? Perpetrator (judgement), victim (it’s everyone else’s/someone else’s fault) or enabler/rescuer (over giving/enabling for someone else?)
3) Who would you be if you allowed yourself to retire that role?
Juicy stuff, eh?
Thanks for diving deep with me this week and if you feel called, share an insight in the comments! I read every single one.
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