Needy, needy, needy

Happy Tuesday!

The other day, I was speaking with a girlfriend and she was complaining about how her partner, who adores her, doesn’t like to give her shoulder or foot massages when she was tired from working-when she tried to confront hime about it, he just said it “isn’t his thing-he doesn’t like feet.”

Regardless of whether or not her partner was interested in giving her massages, I could tell they were totally in love with each other otherwise. 

Was all hope lost? she asked me. 

Not necessarily.

It just highlighted a very important value for her-physical touch.

No one person can meet every single need-that’s not realistic, nor is it healthy to expect that.

So, I invited her to explore options-was there something else that would give her the same feeling of receiving a massage from her partner? 

At first, she was resistant to the idea, and then she got quiet and said-“You know, I really just want to feel his body near me-not necessarily in a sexual way but it makes me feel calm and connected.”

So, really it wasn’t even the massage itself tat was the most important-it was the feeling of…calm and connection. 

She got creative and saw different ways she could feel that way with him that didn’t require him to give her feet a rub and also ways she could give that to herself.

Some of the things she came up with?

  • asking for him to hold her hand while she was taking a bath (not every time but once in awhile). He agreed right away!
  • for herself: turning off her electronics an hour before bed and getting a weighted blanket
  • listening to sounds of the ocean as she wrapped up her work day and slipping into fuzzy socks
  • touching feet under the dinner table while talking about their day. Another easy win for him and her!

The fun part was hearing about how much more intimate their relationship felt even after a week of just making a few tweaks.

And what made me laugh out loud was that he bought her a foot and leg assuage thing to use whenever she wanted! (and I’m sure would agree to hold her hand while she used it!)

The takeaway here is two-fold:

  1. When you get creative with discovering the feeling you are desiring behind a need, it’s way easier to come up with ways to get those needs met.
  2. When you take ownership of your needs and stop assuming one person to be your need–machine, they are more likely to step up to want to make you happy!

Q: What is one need that has been calling to you to address? What is one creative way you could get the same feeling? Share with us!

How to Keep Going, Even When You Aren’t Seeing What You Want

Dear Goddess,

Did you happen to see the Solar Eclipse on Saturday? 

It was so beautiful and it was in the sign of Sagittarius which surrounds themes of

  • optimism
  • expansion/unlimited possibility 
  • international/foreign connections
  • sharp wit and blunt communication 
  • fun and more!

It’s also a good week to really tune into your intuition’s nudges on what is more near and dear to your heart.

You may yearn for a soulmate partnership.

Someone to hold you, adore you and do life with you.

You may have put yourself on so many dating apps but no one seems to be right, no one messages you…

Or you do have a wonderful date and then you need hear from them again,

Or they are married,

Or they are ‘not in a place to be  in a committed relationship.’ 

No matter the situation, it can feel really discouraging and frustrating to keep going, and to stay positive when there’s no sign in sight of what you’re yearning for. 

I’ve been in this situation countless times in the past and after witnessing and holding space for private clients over the past 11 years, here are 3 beliefs to consider: 

  1. I wouldn’t have the desire if the thing I’m desiring wasn’t already here in the Universal Field. It is happening in exact Divine timing and I won’t miss it. Yes, I know that’s annoying to hear, but if you adopt the mindset of “The Universe is on my side and will deliver what is truly meant for me at the perfect time,” then you can chill and relax if something doesn’t seem to be happening ASAP. It’s Divine timing. You can still date and practice staying open and relaxed to receiving without attachment or gripping. 
  2. Everything that happens is an opportunity for me to commit more truly to what I want. When Jess-than-aligned partners present themselves, you can choose to see it as an opportunity to commit even more to the type of relationship you want vs worrying about “why you attracted this.” (Honestly, sometimes it’s just showing up to test you on how committed you are to what you say you desire!)
  3. When in doubt, cut it out! As you peer honestly at the actions you are taking and the relationships currently in your life, heck, even the books and TV shows you are reading, where are you contradicting what you say you want? Example: If you say you want to meet someone (like your forever person) but you are addicted to watching TV shows where all the characters are having one-night stands, that’s what’s being embedded in your psyche. It may be time to make new choices. If you’re not sure if something you’re doing or someone you are engaging with on a regular basis is healthy and aligned with the desires of your heart, it may be time to cut it out and replace with new activities. 

The more you can observe yourself with grace, compassion and honesty, and align with the natural timing of the Universe, the easier it will be to know when to take action and when to just be in trust!

Q: Which one of these are you going to play with this week? 

Let me know in the comments and if you’d like to go deeper, I am SO excited to have 10 spots available for 2021 Healing Release Sessions!

How it works: 

These are different than getting an intuitive reading in that you will be given an exercise to complete before we speak to maximize the release energy. Then we will hop on the phone or Zoom for the energy activation and release to let go of heavy stuck enemy and anything you already to say bye bye to. And then you’ll be given a personalised directive to seal off that energy after we are done. This is really special because I no longer offer one-off energy healing sessions so if you’ve to get in and clear some heavy stuff, jump in!

These are $297 USD and I will be booking all of them before the Winter Solstice on the 21st. 

Next steps:

  1. Go here to book (if I already have 11 spots full, I will refund you!) 
  2. You will receive an email within 24 hours to boo a specific day and time and also receive your pre-session exercise.
  3. These will go quickly! Once they are gone, they are gone. 

Have an amazing week!