Today’s Q&A is about standards.
Q: Hi Diana, I’ve been consciously raising my standards with the types of men I date. In the past I have settled for a lot less than I wanted and I am clear that I have to have an intellectual, spiritual, emotional and physical connection with my ideal person. The person is, no one I’ve met seems to fit the bill and I’m feeling really frustrated. Any advice?
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A: First off, that’s great that you are raising your standards, Goddess! It’s important to look at the patterns from our previous relationships and see where you may have compromised in areas that you didn’t want to. However, it’s also important to note that your ideal relationship may not check off all the boxes in terms of 100% intellectual, spiritual , emotional and physical.
No one is perfect and expecting that may be part of the reason you may feel frustrated. The thing to ask yourself is, what is non-negotiable for me that I absolutely know I would love to experience within a partnership? Which of thise areas/needs can I get met in other places?
For example, let’s say in the past you attracted men who met you on the intellectual and physical level but spiritually, you felt sad or resentful that you couldn’t share the spiritual topics you were learning about and implementing into your life. SO now a spiritual connection with a man is a non-negotiable and perhaps you may attract someone who you have that and emotional/physical connection close to 100% and intellectual connection maybe 60%. Then, you could choose to get that extra intellectual stimulation elsewhere such as joining a book club, meeting up with friends that share you same love for XYZ. Everyone is unique and only you know what a true non-negotiable is. But giving yourself and these men permission to not be 100% in every single category could open you up to welcome in a number of ideal partners.
Q: What spoke to you? What is one of your non-negotiable? Please share with us by leaving a comment!
ps: Ready to get clear on what could be blocking you from attracting the right partner? Book a complimentary consultation here.