Q: Should you go out with someone again based on a first impression?
We’ve all been trained to make good first impressions, whether it be for a job interview or a first date. But is a first impression all it’s cracked up to be or are you only seeing one side of a person and perhaps you need to go out with them several times before you trust what you’re feeling?
A: It’s a great question and while I’m not you (and I don’t know your date in question), I do have 3 insights on the subject to help you feel more secure in your dating game.
1. See how they treat other people on your date
Do they appear to be kind and charming with you but make a snide comment about the wait staff? If you’re waiting in any kind of line, do they complain or do they make conversation with the people next to you? How your date treats others when he/she is at his “best” says a lot. Pay attention.
2. Watch for give and take.
Someone who is a match for you will be as interested in learning about you as they are in sharing information about themselves. If someone is withholding when you ask them questions and deflects to ask about you all the time, that is a red flag. If, on the other hand, they answer thoughtfully and also listen to you intently that is a great sign! (you can tell the difference between that and someone waiting for their turn to talk). Use your intuition.
3. Follow YOUR first instincts following the date
What I mean is, instead of paying attention to how you feel when you’re with them on the date, pay attention to how you feel or information that comes to you AFTER THEY LEAVE/the date concludes. Not an hour after, but right within the next few minutes. Do you feel happy? Excited? Zapped of energy? Write those first impressions down as you will have valuable information from your intuition before your heart gets involved.
Now it’s YOUR turn:
1) Have YOU ever been on a date where your first impression was right on (or vice versa), off target? What happened and how did you handle it?
2) What helps you assess whether to go on a 2nd date?
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