3 revealing questions to help you know a relationship is right for you
Relationships. Love. Ugh
It can be so hard. I don’t want to deal with that Diana! (I can hear some of you in my head!)
A few weeks ago, a woman asked me the following question and I’m curious what you would say to her.
Q: I am wondering whether or not to stay in this relationship or to just throw in the towel. I feel so confused. Should I keep working on it or cut and run?
A: This is a big question that goes much deeper than just this relationship.
I will frame this by saying that the way we are in one relationship tends to be the way we are in all our relationships, so when we can see our own underlying patterns, then we can start to get back in the driver’s seat and make a choice from our intuition vs. our fear voice or what we “should” do.
Without much more information to go on, I wanted to share 3 soul-inspiring questions that can help you make the decision that feels right for YOU in any relationship, personal or professional.
The 3 Questions:
1. How do you feel about yourself when you are with this person?
If you had to pick 3 adjectives that described how you feel and they are all things like “content, respected, heard” vs “I feel tired, confused, like I have to hide part of myself” then that is a good indication that you and this person are vibrating on similar energetic frequencies! A sub question is “Does being with them energize or de-energize me?”And if they are on the latter, then perhaps you are vibrating in different places. It doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t be together or involved, but you may need to have a conversation around #2.
2. What is your main intentions and reasons for being in the relationship? (Be TOTALLY honest. The first answer is usually the purest one.) If you’re not sure, start there. Without a clear intention for WHY you are interacting with this person, you are subject to play a defensive role in the relationship, which sets up an unequal connection. If you are sure, ask them theirs! Are the two aligned or polar opposite? That is more information for you that could open up a very powerful dialogue.
3. What would it take to EXCITE you in this relationship? Again, this is not about changing anyone, but it is to simply open up your subconscious to possibility. What is your ideal scenario, even if you aren’t sure it could happen? Answering this will help you identify your core needs and make it easier to communicate them and consequently get them met!
In the end though, as with any major decision, we have to search deep within to our inner Knowing. Our intuition. And trust the information that comes, even if we don’t like it! (That’s where most people trip themselves up.) We want another answer and then we think we are “confused.” You may be super clear, but you may also need to make some pretty uncomfortable changes to move forward.
I want to hear from you.
1. What would YOU say to the woman who asked the question above?
What has helped you make a difficult decision or deal with the fear that comes up with relationship stuff?
Share your comments and insights here on the blog and….
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1) does this relationship help me with my soul growth?
2) whenever you are with this person do you feel drained?
3) what does your heart tell you/
First of all this woman has already questioned herself. Since this is happened it is time to move on. She has doubt and already has a thought to run hmmmm?
Be honest with the person and tell them this isn’t workin and you are movin on!! Yeah!! You have taught me well Miss Diana..xoxo Thomas
I would tell this woman to take a step back, and spend some time alone to clear her head, and to gather her thoughts up before making any real decisions. She may just need a break from the relationship to gain some perspective…I would also like to know more about the situation…
Another thing I would tell her is to ask for her perfect mate to be sent to her, the one intended for her by Divine Design. Maybe she is not with the right person, and is sensing that deep in her soul! Sometimes you just can’t make it “Work”, especially if it’s not even the right person for you.
Maybe “Confused” needs to take it one day at a time, for now, until the situation clarifies for her. Sounds to me as though she’s been putting unrewarded effort into making this relationship “work”. The first thing I’d recommend is taking a break from the sense of pushing, with intentional resting– check out http://www.intentionalresting.com ! And then, try making small decisions about choosing her present words and actions (which of course will impact their future) one moment at a time, based on a sense of playfulness, relaxation and alignment with Truthful Love. Even if this couple isn’t going to stick together for long, “Confused” can still give and gain from whatever interactions they do share together, now.