letting go of a relationship you know isn’t good for you

Q: “Diana, after leaving a karmic relationship, what helped you to find peace with your decision, trust your gut/intuition, and accept letting go of someone you feel so drawn and connected to? (How do you ease the pain of loss of someone you feel connected to, yet may not be a good match?) Thank you!”

Whenever we end a relationship, no matter what the circumstances, it is a loss and there is a grieving period that is like a death.

It can be painful, confusing and especially if this is a relationship you identified as karmic (see blog post about this), your spiritual connection to this person can make it even more difficult to move on.

Was it the right thing to do?

How do you know?

And why is it so freakin hard to let it go?

While there is no easy fix for feeling this loss, there are a few things you can do to help manage the pain and regain your peace of mind. Here are 3 of the things that have helped me and my clients regain their footing after a karmic connection ended.

#1 Play Bad Cop

When it’s someone we share a deep connection with, it’s easy to just idealize the relationship and focus on all the gifts and wonderful moments they brought you. But part of moving on and accepting is seeing the good and the not so good. Also known as “take the blinders off sister!!” 

You may need to call in a friend for this who knows you and can help you do this action.

Action step: Make a list of ALL the things about this person that hurt you, annoyed you or caused you to betray yourself (again, this list will vary but don’t hold back. This isn’t about bashing them. It’s about getting clear and seeing both sides.)

Example: “I gave up going to dance classes because he wanted me to stay with him every evening.” OR “He never returned my calls or wanted to meet me near where I live. It was all on his terms and I felt so tired and drained.”

Then commit to reminding yourself of this and follow your inner guidance which may tell you to cut off communication completely, compartmentalize what you talk about in their presence or something else. Stay open but use your WILL to remind yourself of why you made your choice. 

# 2 Surrender it to the Angels/The Divine

Let’s face it. When you’re in love, you’re not in control. And when emotions are really confusing, it can be hard to see through the haze or to help you stay grounded in your own energy when it ends. Call in the Divine Forces!

My personal favorite: Write this out and say it aloud, “Divine One, Angels of Romance, thank you for giving me the strength to do what is truly for my Highest and Greatest Good in this relationship.I surrender the attachments and doubts to you. I give them to you completely.” Then you can drop it in a sacred box (I love an empty tissue box!with a prayer on the outside!) burn it or do something else to symbolize your full and complete surrender to doing this alone. 

#3 Enlist the support of a healer 

When all else fails, it could be that that person is still stuck in your energy field and simply does not want to let you go or vice versa. An experienced healer who is familiar with karmic attachments and release can help you go to the root cause of the connection and help you feel both feel free energetically which could speed up your emotional healing so you can move on with our life! 

You don’t have to do it all alone. 

With a focused intention to move on + an openness to flow with the emotions that come up and take inspired action as guided, you’ll be on your way to feeling free from the entanglements, doubts and hooks from this relationship.

Q: Have YOU ever struggled with letting go of someone who you knew wasn’t good for you? What helped you to move on? Share with us in the comments below!

ps: Would you like support to help you let go of a karmic relationship? This is one of my areas where I absolutely love helping people feel free and more like yourself again. Click here to set up a consultation to learn more about how we can work together!