Stop Beating Yourself Up for the Past (My #1 Self-Forgiveness Script)

Dear Goddess,

Happy Lunar New Year to you.

This week, I’m taking your questions from the community, and when I saw this one, I knew it was the perfect one to answer.

It’s all about what you can do when you’re beating yourself up for a choice you made in the past and you know it is keeping you from all that wants to find you now.

This specific question is about relationships, but you can look at it through any lens: money, business, career, friendship, health, or personal growth. The pattern is the same.

Q: “How do I stop beating myself up for my past choices?”

Question from the community:

“Diana, I really want to make space for a Divine partner this year, but I find myself beating myself up about some poor choices I made in the past. And some crappy thoughts hold me back. I know this is keeping me from putting myself out there, but I don’t know how to make peace with myself. Do you have any suggestions?”

First of all, if you relate to this in any way, you are not alone.

One Thorn vs. a Wilderness of Warning

“One thorn of experience is worth a whole wilderness of warning.”
– James Russell Lowell

I’m a huge fan of tea bag wisdom, and this quote really lands when it comes to relationships and intuition.

So often, after a painful situation, it can feel like your intuition failed you.

Maybe you:

• Made an error in judgment
• Ignored a red flag (or several)
• Stayed in something that felt “off” because you hoped it would change

When we look back, the mind says,
“I should have known better.”
“How could I have missed that?”
“What is wrong with me?”

But here is what I want you to remember:

No matter what happened before, you can always take a breath, acknowledge what you feel, and begin again.

Why Beating Yourself Up Keeps You Stuck

Beating yourself up for what you chose to do in the past robs you of the brilliance of the present.

It blocks:

• New people who want to enter your life
• Healthy opportunities that are a better match
• The intuitive nudges that are trying to guide you now

When you are stuck in self-punishment, you are less likely to trust yourself. And when you do not trust yourself, it is much harder to open up to the kind of love, partnership, and experiences you truly desire.

The good news: You can learn from the past without living there.

Next time something feels “off,” you get to make a different choice.

The Fear Underneath It All

So often, we tolerate crumbs, mixed signals, or outright bad behavior because we are secretly scared we will not find anything better.

We tell ourselves:

• “Maybe this is the best I can do.”
• “I already invested so much time.”
• “If I walk away, what if no one else comes?”

But wouldn’t you rather be pricked by one thorn of experience than spend years trudging through a garden of thorns, pretending everything is okay when it clearly is not?

Your past choices prepared you.

My #1 Self-Forgiveness Script (Forgiveness Mantra)

Today, I want to offer you a simple, powerful forgiveness script you can use anytime you notice yourself beating yourself up for something in the past.

You can say this out loud, write it in your journal, or repeat it quietly before bed.

Self-Forgiveness Mantra / Divine Script

“Dear Spirit, I now fully own the choices I made in (insert situation) and take full personal responsibility for my part in it. I trust that it has made me stronger and I now forgive and release myself and forgive and release anyone and everyone I am still holding negative energy or ill will towards in this situation. I choose to be free and I now call back all my energy and power from all the places I gave it away, knowingly and unknowingly. My intuition is getting stronger every day. All is well. The Divine is in charge. I choose to be in peace.”

You can repeat this as often as you need. Over time, you will feel the charge soften and your energy begin to come back to you.

Your Turn: Are you ready to forgive yourself and stop beating yourself up?

If so, say YES in the comments and, if you feel called, share one area where you’re ready to let yourself off the hook and start fresh.

With love,
Diana