Have you ever had a friend who you never see once she’s in a relationship?
And then when they break up, she’s blowing up your phone?
Maybe you’ve been that person.
I’ve been on both ends!
When you are in love, it’s easy to fall into an all-consuming pattern of making your world all about the other person and in the process, you lose yourself.
Then all of a sudden, your partner starts to pull away, maybe you are having less sex or you just feel like they aren’t appreciating you as much as you want.
90% of the time it’s because you have forgotten to feed your inner fire.
I call it your Goddess flame.
That thing that makes you burn bright (joy, radiance, whatever you want to call it) that attracted them in the first place.
In essence, being yourself and making sure to take care of yourself and your desires.
Maintaining your sense of personal identity separate from the identity of you as a couple.
That’s where the sizzle factor comes in.
And it’s the same energy you can use to manifest an influx of new clients in your business, a new career opportunity, more money, you name it!
To keep that flame burning, it’s imperative that you hold onto yourself even when in partnership.
3 tips to to hold onto yourself in a relationship
- Make time for the things that bring you joy. When you are in love, it’s tempting to abandon them in favor of what your sig other wants to do but part of what drew them towards you was because of the aura you gave off from doing things that lit up your world. Keep doing them!
- Make time to connect with friends and build new connections. Pick up the phone and call your friends. Make plans to see each other. So often, we lose a sense of balance between socializing with a partner and socializing with our own friends. Even if your partner is disappointed, trust me, they will love and respect you more if you are not around them 24/7 and you will feel lighter as well!
- Maintain a bit of mystery. Keep some things to yourself. Important: This is very different than withholding important information that directly affects the relationship. I’m talking about things like every single thing you did in a day or how you feel about everything and anything. Making your partner the be all and end all of your emotional life puts a lot of pressure on the relationship! Allow your partner to be there for you emotionally but resist the pattern of making them a therapist. They aren’t. They are your lover and friend. Emotional responsibility for our own stuff is paramount for maintaining sizzle and spark!
Over to you. Q: Have you ever lost yourself in a relationship or been on the other side? What helped you to come back into balance with yourself?